I'm Dying Of Laughter At The 30 Hilarious Things People Posted On Twitter This Month So Far

“You’re so tight” yeah bro I’m not turned on but go off 🫡

— Sav (@savannahelisse) January 15, 2025

Met a white dude named Isaac today he told us to call him zay and I’m like I don’t think that’s how that works

— m. (@Major_marcus) January 14, 2025

Heard a man say “my best friend at the time” like ok diva

— Audrey Kaufman (@KaufmanAudrey) January 16, 2025

stand up straight, you’re in the presence of an AMC A-List member

— bird solidarity (@future_liz) January 15, 2025

i never seen a fashion dude work a job how they affording all that

— ٰ (@yesirski) January 15, 2025

just pushed out a suspiciously large clot…fly high little one 🫡🕊️

— jynx (@jynxbby) January 14, 2025

Getting beat up and hearing “no let them fight” is so fucked up 😭😭

— Warren Wave. (@lookatWARREN) January 14, 2025

Wearing a low cut top as a flat chested woman is like here’s my heart beating I guess

— Gülce (@exitsenses) January 14, 2025

pic.twitter.com/pos4ee9NC8

— ivy (@ivyphobic) January 14, 2025

Not only do I willingly give my data to China but I also freely give my heart

— Kat ♱ (@albertcamslut) January 14, 2025

two men were leaving the bar as my roomie and I walked in and one of them said “want to go back in?” … lol just lmao

— erin (@ratsnotagain) January 11, 2025

Yall gotta stop saying “excuse the dirty mirror” and just hit it with a lil windex

— Hustlanani (@hustlanani) January 12, 2025

if u gon break up with me please wait til i get off work

— QUEEN OF HUSTLE (@MAAAKIYAAH) January 12, 2025

If I’m out cheating what is calling 60 times going to do lmao

— R. (@nuniebabie) January 13, 2025

Every time I make a purchase that’s over $200 I’m like that’s fine because I don’t usually buy drugs. Like $400 jeans = ok because imagine that’s coke I never bought

— mike (@mikeofficial) January 13, 2025

My arch nemesis just told me that I'm not his arch nemesis. To him, I'm just a normal nemesis. I feel so stupid. Fuck my life

— sean (@DilettanteryPod) January 10, 2025

Bro said you know its cold out when you start using the full functionality of your jacket like closing the flaps on the hood and shit lol

— TV (@typevalid) January 10, 2025

Neighbors probably think she cut hair https://t.co/MQZdVwGbl9

— Sesame Chiccen (@Loccdawggg) January 8, 2025

(pushing your buttons) yayyy this is so much fun

— sulky . . (@sulky80715248) January 7, 2025

maybe romance isn't dead pic.twitter.com/6DdM472XNF

— gremmy (@gremlinmichael) January 2, 2025

my uber speeding so fast to my man house.. girl is you fuckin him??? 😭😭😭

— 𝒴 (@ysmammri) January 5, 2025

not impressed by ppl with limited screen times. What’s impressive is spending 7 hours a day on Instagram looking at hotter, more successful people and still finding the strength to go on & do it all again tomorrow. that’s what grit & resilience is.

— Amelia Ritthaler (@ameliaritt) January 7, 2025

When i get a girlfriend literally nobody else is attractive to me except maybe her friends

— “Big Jerker” Thorton (@30secondnut) January 13, 2025

that tiktok shop plan B tore my stomach up

— ɳყαɦ! (@JINKIESBTCH) January 7, 2025

My son messy as shit. Why is you jumping on yah father while he sleep, and you see me going through his phone🥴😭! Like stop being a opp😭😒

— Bree🫧 (@Brexonna_B) January 3, 2025

I hate when people lose shit around me cause bitch I don’t steal so you need to hurry up and find that shit

— landonfrostt (@starcosmetics2) January 2, 2025

Eating out as a vegetarian is so annoying why in the fuck would I want squash on a taco. I should spray you with a hose

— alex turntine (@turntineforwhat) January 2, 2025

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

— Little Edie’s Headscarf (@lordandtyler2) January 2, 2025

Normalize ending a hang out abruptly by saying I wanna go home now and then going home

— Yunie (@hyeyunie) January 1, 2025

pls take instagram & not tiktok

— bre (@_1bmw) January 9, 2025