Maybe this has happened to you: At some point, you start to realize that you and your partner are only having surface-level conversations at the dinner table each evening (Is it trash night? Can you run gymnastics carpool on Saturday?) rather than truly connecting. We’re not saying that you have to talk about your hopes and dreams, wins and challenges every night, but when you’re parenting and partnered, it’s all too easy to let grown-up conversations take a back seat to, well, everything else you have going on.
Of course, strong communication is one of the keys to a healthy relationship, but even the best communicators can find themselves in a bit of a rut at times. It’s still possible to find your way back to one another. When you have a quiet moment, challenge yourselves to ask deeper, open-ended questions—and then really listen to the answers. It might just be the small shift you both needed.
Here’s a list of 28 questions to ask your partner to deepen your relationship, because it’s so important to keep talking to each other.
28 powerful questions to ask your partner
“How can I better support you in your goals?”
“What made you feel loved today?”
“Is there anything that’s been worrying you lately that you’d like to talk about?”
“What are some of your happiest memories with me?”
“How do you feel about our relationship right now?”
“What’s one thing I do that makes you feel appreciated?”
“Is there anything I do that you wish I would do differently?”
“What are your dreams for the next five years?”
“What’s something new you’d like to try together?”
“How can I make you feel more loved and valued?”
“What are your biggest fears and how can I help you face them?”
“What does a perfect day look like to you?”
“What are some ways we can improve our communication?”
“How do you think we’ve grown as a couple?”
“What’s a favorite memory that we’ve shared?”
“How can I be a better partner to you?”
“What do you need from me when you’re feeling down?”
“What’s something you’ve always wanted to tell me but haven’t?”
“How do you feel about our balance of time together versus time apart?”
“What are the biggest strengths you see in me?”
“Is there a dream or goal you’d like us to pursue together?”
“What’s one thing we can do to make our relationship stronger?”
“What are your thoughts on our intimacy and closeness?”
“How do you think we handle disagreements, and can we improve?”
“What traditions would you like to start together?”
“How do you feel about our roles and responsibilities in our relationship?”
“What’s something I did that made you feel deeply loved?”
“How can we make our daily routine more special and meaningful?”
Whether you print out this list and keep it in the kitchen or bookmark it for later, these questions are intended to open up pathways of communication, understanding and empathy between partners. Hopefully they can help in addressing any underlying issues, encourage you to celebrate your strengths and excite you about planning for the future together. The main goal? To bring you closer on your shared journey.