28% of Americans say it's stressful to spend time with friends or family with different political views, new Yahoo News/YouGov poll finds

Americans are increasingly anxious about the 2024 presidential election; and now, a new Yahoo News/YouGov poll has found that some of that stress may stem from an unlikely source — their loved ones.

According to the poll, 28% of Americans say they find it either very stressful (9%) or somewhat stressful (19%) to spend time with friends or family members who don’t share their political views. Democrats and Kamala Harris voters are more likely to report feeling stressed by these encounters than Republicans and Donald Trump voters.

Here’s what the poll found

The survey of 1,755 U.S. adults, which was conducted from Sept. 11 to Sept. 13, found that 34% of Democrats and 38% of Harris voters find it “very or somewhat stressful” to spend time with friends or family members who do not share their political views, while 23% of Republicans and 25% of Trump voters find it “very or somewhat stressful.”

About a quarter of Americans appear to be avoiding that stress altogether by severing ties. Some 26% of Democrats and 30% of Harris voters say they have had a friendship or family relationship end because of a disagreement over politics; 24% of Republicans and 24% of Trump voters also say they had ended a relationship over politics.

Meanwhile, a significant chunk of the electorate (17% overall) is completely siloed from anyone with differing viewpoints. The poll finds that 19% of Democrats and 17% of Harris voters say they don’t have any friends or family members with political views that are different from theirs, and 16% of Republicans and 16% of Trump voters report being similarly isolated.

Dr. Nina Vasan, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Stanford, tells Yahoo Life she has seen firsthand the apprehension people have about discussing politics with people they disagree with. “I’ve had patients who canceled attending social or family events due to anticipatory anxiety around who would be there and needing to avoid certain people for their own well-being,” Vasan says.

Still, the new poll also found that a majority of people on both sides of the political aisle would prefer to put their differences aside. Some 67% of Democrats and 83% of Republicans say they believe that personal relationships should always come before politics. The same was true for Harris and Trump voters, with 68% of Harris voters and 83% of Trump voters saying that personal relationships should always come first.

Kirk Schneider, a clinical psychologist and author of Life-Enhancing Anxiety: Key to a Sane World, tells Yahoo Life that engaging in conversations with people different from you can be challenging, but also highly rewarding. “It's a vital experience if we want to deepen and grow both individually and collectively,” Schneider says. “Simply learning to be present and civil with one another is a huge first step — and it may just help us to save ourselves and our planet.”

Here’s how to talk to people you disagree with

Conventional wisdom dictates that you should never discuss religion or politics in polite company. But experts say those tough conversations may be necessary — especially in our increasingly polarized political landscape.

“Exposing yourself to a diversity of viewpoints is a great way to protect yourself from confirmation bias, and to avoid developing a misguided, anxiety-provoking belief that you are too fragile to tolerate diverse viewpoints,” Chloe Carmichael, a clinical psychologist and author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety, tells Yahoo Life.

If you’re ready to take the plunge, here’s how you can have constructive conversations with people who disagree with you politically.

• Be respectful and kind. “Remember that most people are well-intentioned and trying to do the best for themselves and their loved ones, even if the method is far different than yours,” Vasan says. “Try to treat others with the same respect and kindness that you want to be given to you.” With that in mind, Schneider says you should check yourself and be conscious of any nonverbal signs that could be off-putting to the other person, like heavy sighs or rolling your eyes while they are speaking.

• Try “reflective listening.” Carmichael, who has written about how political polarization is a psychology problem, says you may also want to consider a technique used in couples therapy called “reflective listening.” She explains: “In this technique, two people take turns sharing their views in a structured manner: The first person shares their viewpoint, and the other person simply reflects it back by repeating it in a respectful tone of voice. This process is repeated until each person feels genuinely understood.”

• Be curious and don’t make assumptions. You should bring “your best self” to the discussion — meaning that instead of making assumptions about the other person, approach the conversation from a place of curiosity and a desire to learn. “Ask questions with genuine curiosity, like, ‘I wonder how you're dealing with all the election tension?’ or ‘Given that your candidate did X, I'm really curious how you still support their stance on Y,’” Schneider says. Then, try to understand the other person’s point of view rather than trying to change their mind or ridicule them. “Pinpoint exactly where you and the other person differ, rather than attempting to persuade them to see things your way,” Carmichael says.

• Pick your battles. If things are getting heated, Schneider says that whether you decide to stand your ground in a disagreement or just keep the peace is a very personal decision. “I suggest that people carefully consider the consequences of engaging in such difficult conversations, both for themselves and those on the ‘other side’ before proceeding,” Schneider says. “Adages like, ‘Is it worth it?’ and ‘Pick your battles’ can be very instructive in these situations.”

• Assess what you learned. To wrap things up, Schneider suggests that you and the other person do a review of the conversation. “Take some time to see what, if anything, you both discovered,” he says. “What did you learn about yourself and your own position and what did you learn about theirs, and is there any room for common ground? You might both surprise yourselves.”