Yahoo Lifestyle 23 Secrets Women Promised They'd Hide From Men Forever, But The Cat's Finally Out Of The Bag
We asked the women of the BuzzFeed Community, "What are secret truths you keep hidden from men?"
Unfortunately, they had a lotttttt to spill. They've kept some pretty big secrets hidden in the vault that men will hopefully find enlightening.
So, here are some of the biggest truths women have kept from men:
Note: Some submissions were pulled from this Reddit thread by user iluvfreakyshit1.
Note: Some submissions include topics of sexual assault. Please proceed with caution.
1."Men think just because they get turned on by looking at women’s genitals that women get turned on by seeing theirs. But, believe me, as a boomer, I’ve seen a lot of male genitals and talked to a lot of women. I have yet to meet a woman who says they looked at a man’s privates and immediately got turned on! Most of us don’t find that area very attractive at all!"
2."I’m afraid of bringing up how he does not satisfy me in bed. He’ll shut down because I know that’s so hurtful to hear. But whenever we have sex, it’s over quickly, and I never finish. The only times I do finish are when he’s not home, and I take care of it myself."
3."I've had great sex with men, but the best sex I've ever had was with other women. I'm pretty sure most women who've had both would say the same thing."
4."For some of us, panic sets in if we're in a confined space with a man we don't know (or don't know well)."
"Yes, and it’s mostly trauma-based. There’s a reason we’re worried."
5."Sometimes I legit don’t care about what you did at work today, but I ask because I’m supposed to/you asked about mine."
6."If you're in a straight parenting dynamic, it doesn't matter how helpful a father is. The parenting roles are never, ever even, and they will never truly appreciate what we go through and the sacrifices we make to have children."
7."Most of the time, we don’t like you. We’re just putting up with you."
I" have had to explain multiple times to my brother-in-law that female bartenders are literally just being polite. It's part of their job to be polite."
8."I don’t compliment male friends because they always, without fail, take it as romantic interest. I’m sure there are genuine, platonic friendships between men and women, but truthfully, that hasn’t been most women’s experiences."
"I just recently broke off contact with a very close male childhood friend (never had anything remotely romantic with him) because I dared to ask him whether he wanted to go to the cinema with me. He then proceeded to try and finger me in my seat.
Even after running out of the cinema and trying to talk to him on the phone about WTF happened, he still insisted I was being flirty and had given him compliments in recent months — so I apparently wanted sex."
9."That I identify as bisexual. Guys are grooossssss about it."
"I saw a show where a woman revealed to her boyfriend that she’d been cheating on him with her female best friend. His rage instantly became delight, and he kept talking about how 'hot' it was.I was beyond furious that nobody in the role told him, 'if she wants to be with a woman, it has nothing to do with you and, most importantly, is not for YOUR pleasure.'"
10."I only own two bras (I can't find a goddamn 34DDD for less than $50, and who has that kind of money?). I don't think I've washed either of them in at least a month, possibly two. GOTTA MAINTAIN THE INTEGRITY OF THAT ELASTIC."
11."I don’t tell them my real body count. I always give them a lower number because having a body count higher than, like, five is considered 'shameful' for women. I once told a guy my real number, and he slut-shamed me (even though it’s not that high and would be a perfectly 'normal' one for a dude). His was higher, by the way. It definitely feeds into the patriarchy, and I should just own it — but most men have a culturally ingrained negative conception of it and would deem me less worthy."
12."We are just as gross (if not GROSSER) than you are. From letting huge farts rip and giggling to staring at period clots, yeah...we be nasty. We're just better at hiding it and cleaning up the evidence. ;)"
13."I don’t put effort into my appearance to attract attention from men ('male attention is abundant and low-value'). I do it because it feels like putting on armor, another layer of protection against being vulnerable. There’s also a sense of being intimidating and 'above reproach' that feels safe — like, you can try to critique me, but not my appearance."
"It really just reflects how messed-up social dynamics can be (and shoutout to the childhood trauma of habitual bullying 💕)."
14."We have more hair than you might think, and we hide it pretty well. I'm talking about the stray hairs on our chin, nipples, and butt 😅."
15."That sometimes I can be jealous of a platonic relationship. It occurs more with male friends than with female friends. It's not the hugest issue in the world, but it's not something I want to admit to him either openly."
16."At least for me, the period-related mood swings are less about irrationally disproportionate emotional responses and more about a weakening of the filter that usually holds back an emotional response. The things that piss me off when I'm on my period still piss me off when I'm not on my period — I just normally try not to express them."
17."I’ve never once had a man make me orgasm better than I’ve made myself."
18."I encourage my partner of five years to visualize someone else during sex because I know I’m so much less than he deserves. I refuse to let him go down on me because I’m positive it’s less pleasant than it’s been with his previous partners. He is so loving and reassuring to me, but my body is honestly so horrific and I respect him so much, I would even let him have sex with others if it meant he didn’t have to slum it with me."
19."How insecure I can be, my self-doubt, and how much I care. In my past, men don’t handle my sensitivity very well."
20."I do not share really private, explicit things about my partner and I with my friends. It's private and intimate for a reason, and should be kept as such unless discussed."
"Same — I have known people who will go into great detail about their sex lives, but I do not. I keep it between my partner and I."
21."Every sweatshirt I wear came from a dude before you!"
22."I consider myself to be a pretty easygoing person. But, I’m secretly envious of the fact that my parents allow my brothers to do whatever they want after dark."
23.And finally, "We treat men with kid gloves. We try to keep men happy and fed, we turn down advances in whatever way will make men feel the best about themselves, and we work extremely hard to keep men from turning angry. We fear men’s anger because we know all too well that it can (and often) does end in death for us. So, we end up coddling all men for our own protection."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
