21 Common Pieces Of Life Advice That Are Actually Toxic

There are plenty of life lessons and advice we hear often, starting from when we're just kids. But not all of this insight is truly beneficial. In reality, some common "life advice" can actually be toxic. Redditor Kenchen_9401 asked, "What is a piece of common advice that you think is actually BAD?" Here's what people said, including some responses from members of the BuzzFeed Community.

1."'Blood is thicker than water.' Nope. Some family members are toxic and not worthy of loyalty or love."

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2."'Good things come to those who wait.' I guess, 'good things come to those who are patient enough to pursue those things in a consistent and disciplined manner' just doesn't have the same ring to it."

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3."'Money doesn't buy happiness.' Sure it doesn't, but it makes it easier to live a comfortable lifestyle."

Person on the bow of a sailboat, holding the sail, overlooking calm water and distant mountains at sunset
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4."'Never judge a book by its cover.' OK, don't judge everything all the time on appearance, but judging by appearance can be a very good thing that can save you from mental and physical harm."

uptank_

5."'Don’t go to bed angry.' I feel like sometimes you need some time to calm down before you can properly respond and talk things through."

Two people lie back-to-back in bed, appearing distant. One wears a T-shirt and pants, the other a sleeveless dress
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6."'If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.' A big nope to the idea that the universe will make all your decisions."

latchkey_adult

7.“'What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.' In actuality, it doesn’t. Sometimes, it gives you trauma."

Person lying on a bed, wearing a casual shirt, resting with their arm over their forehead
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8."'Never give up.' This advice is given to kids in school because, honestly, as long as you don't give up on it, you'll walk away with a high school diploma. But after that, sometimes you really should give up. It's almost a universal adult experience to sink way too much time into something before finally coming to your senses and letting it go. I've needed to know when to tactically retreat much more often than I've needed to remind myself to persevere. Don't give up immediately; learn when to cut your losses."

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9."'Do what you love, and you'll never work a day in your life.' It should really be, 'Do something that enables you to do what you love.'"

Person sitting at a desk in an office with a cityscape view through large windows, using a laptop
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10."'Just be yourself.' Some people are really awful, and they need to work on improving themselves, not continuing to do the things that make them bad."

PirateJohn75

11."When moms tell other moms to 'wait and see.' In some situations, waiting makes the outcome much worse for the kid because they miss the early intervention window."

Woman and two children play with blocks on a rug in a cozy, sunlit room with a bed and bookshelf in the background
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12."'Never burn any bridges.' I wish I had burned at least one. It's called setting boundaries."

PaRuSkLu

13."'Everyone deserves a second chance.' Some people do not. And their second chance shouldn't necessarily involve those they have wronged."

Two people in a hot tub exchange an intense gaze, with one gently holding the other's neck. They are close, conveying a moment of tension or intimacy

14."The whole concept of 'say what you want in the name of honesty.' There's a fine line between honesty and simply being cruel, and we can't just say what we want or throw words around carelessly. If we aren't prepared to take accountability or face the consequences of our word vomit, then rather we stay classy and keep quiet. Or, better put, don't say anything at all."

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15."'Follow your passion.' This popular advice ignores practicality. Finding the balance between following your passions and acquiring practical skills is essential for success."

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16."'Don't mind what other people think of you.' I'm so tired of people using this excuse to basically be a giant asshole to anyone who does anything that annoys them."

sunflowergirllauren

17."The saying that 'time heals all wounds.' In reality, no it doesn’t. Sometimes, you need to seek outside help to properly heal wounds."

People in a group therapy session, seated in a circle, with one person gesturing while others listen attentively
Ljubaphoto / Getty Images

18."Love yourself 'no matter what' can be bad for you. Sometimes you're just wrong and need to change."

Adumbidiotface

19."'Kill them with kindness.' This is bullshit. Some people are nasty and rude. You shouldn't have to dull down your feelings and not stand your ground because of someone toxic. 'Match their energy' is a better lesson..."

Hands on a steering wheel inside a car, one hand honking. Sunlight filters through the window
Delmaine Donson / Getty Images

20.“'Never take no for an answer.' Actually, there are times you really should take 'no' for an answer and accept it. Stop wasting everyone’s time and gracefully let go. It’s not going to happen, so move on with your life. Also, consent is a big deal, and no means no."

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21."Only do things that feel good or spark joy. Sometimes, you must do things that aren't super duper fun for your long-term health and future."

Person running uphill on a grassy trail, wearing athletic leggings and running shoes, with a forest in the background
Solskin / Getty Images

What's a common piece of life advice that is actually not helpful or beneficial? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.