Yahoo Lifestyle 19 Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Forgot My Own Name
In you didn't know, people have THOUGHTS about the main suspect in the UnitedHealthcare CEO case. See for yourself.
And when you get done taking a look at those, take a look at the funniest tweets by women this week:
Make sure to follow these funny ladies on Twitter!
1.
ughhhhh I didn't fix my entire life this weekend FUCK
— liz (@lizboyfanclub) December 8, 2024
2.
Someone put a scale in the office kitchenette with a sign up sheet for "new year new you" this is an act of terrorism and I will be engaging in hand to hand combat with them at noon today
— McErin☘️ (@colleen_eileen) December 9, 2024
3.
no longer desire a boyfriend all I need is a two bedroom apt and an in unit washer/dryer
— kendall (@sailordoooooom) December 10, 2024
4.
I know for sure that the ball isn’t in my court. But also I’m not entirely sure the ball is in his court either. Honestly I fear the ball may have gotten stuck in the gymnasium rafters or lost or worse…
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) December 11, 2024
5.
no worries if not pic.twitter.com/OlZYBpaj8e
— erika (@yeeeerika) December 10, 2024
Twitter: @yeeeerika / Disney
6.
I’m working on it https://t.co/tDgJ9QXF0e
— Ted (@Tedoffthegrid) December 10, 2024
7.
My New Year’s resolution is to stun in new photo
— Dee (@figgled) December 11, 2024
8.
how do you expect to keep a woman if you have no whimsy
— hoe wrangler (@rats4friends) December 11, 2024
9.
love how gogurt was so powerful they were like “we need to make this for cats”
— Pastrami Mommy (@Ewelannawhite) December 11, 2024
10.
“galinda is a lesbian and gelphie is real” i say into the mic. the crowd boos. i begin to walk off in shame, when a voice from the back speaks and commands silence in the room. “she’s right!” someone says. i look for the owner of the voice. its ariana grande.
— 🧦 (@gelphietv) December 10, 2024
11.
my body is not a temple. my body is a nightclub
— discoliss (@clubdiscolita) December 11, 2024
12.
heyyyyy does anyone want to come over & bake christmas cookies with me & tenderly wipe a streak of flour from my cheek & we both stop, struck by the warmth of each other’s bodies, the kitchen, the season & oop the oven timer went off hahahahaha what was that about
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) December 11, 2024
13.
i think it was shakespeare who wrote “tell your boyfriend if he says he’s got beef, that i’m a vegetarian and I ain’t fucking scared of him”.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) December 7, 2024
14.
I needed to sneak some packages in, and my daughter—without a word from me—walked up to my husband and said, “So, what’s better: gas or charcoal grilling?” He’s still talking. I’ve never been prouder. She’s ready for marriage.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) December 11, 2024
15.
i am so warm and affectionate and playful that i cannot help but exude dead wife montage energy. sorry if this is distressing
— latke (@latkedelrey) December 11, 2024
16.
Christmas is in two weeks and ion even got the thought that counts
— 𝗖𝗵𝗶༒ (@iamchiomaa_) December 12, 2024
17.
my 10 month old is dying to talk and communicate with the rest of us and yesterday i could see he was trying so hard to get something out to us and finally he just yelled, "BABY"
— amil (@amil) December 12, 2024
18.
The original Alien is the best because of the smoking. No futuristic nicotine delivery. Just blasting cigs around all that sensitive space equipment. That’s the direction technology advanced: to allow cigarettes in spacecrafts.
— Jamie (@spacej_me) December 11, 2024
19.
Before cell phones you had to go through your boyfriend’s horse to find out if he was visiting other women
— April Clark (@autogynefiles) December 12, 2024
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
18 Tweets By Women This Week That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Started Gasping For Air
