Parents Are Sharing Photos Of Their Toddler's Unhinged Habits — And It's Making Me Glad That I'm A Childless Dog Lady

Carley Suthers
·2-min read

As anyone who's ever been around a toddler knows — they're little monsters (and not in the Lady Gaga way). Try as you may to keep them occupied; at some point in the day, they will make an absolute mess. And unfortunately for these exhausted parents, they know all about it...From smashing the TV to biting everything in sight, here are 19 photos that prove living with a toddler is NOT for the weak:

1.This toddler chewed through the ring of their parents' (now-leaking) washing machine:

Open washing machine with a visible chip on the inner rim

2.This toddler bit *almost* all of this Woody toy's fingers off, and now he's permanently flipping the bird:

Woody doll from Toy Story being held, showing a tag with manufacturing details. Background includes a window and blurred seating area

3.This toddler committed the unfathomable crime of mixing all of their Play-Doh colors:

Play-Doh modeling compound on a wooden table, with a yellow Play-Doh container and a red Play-Doh box in the background
u/bellebaby06 / Via reddit.com

4.This toddler helpfully stored their parent's new Airpod in a bag of Doritos:

A bag of Doritos chips with a single AirPod in the foreground

5.This toddler woke up in the middle of the night with the sole intent of setting multiple alarms on their parent's phone:

Smartphone screen showing multiple alarms set at various times, including 00:32, 02:22, 03:21, 04:36, 04:38, and 04:46

6.This toddler is a notorious berry-biter:

Partially eaten strawberries arranged in a clear plastic container
u/rayxo2 / Via reddit.com

7.This toddler helpfully gave the toilet paper a bath:

Toilet paper rolls and toy dinosaurs floating in a bathtub filled with water
u/dmclb / Via reddit.com

8.This toddler found a premium spot to store their popsicle:

Paper towel roll stained with a popsicle held by a clip on a cabinet door. Nearby are an appliance and part of the floor visible
u/annihilatress / Via reddit.com

9.This person was literally bitten by a 3-year-old:

A close-up of a leg with a large bruise

10.This toddler slapped their parent so hard it created an imprint of their eyeball on their glasses:

Smudged eyeglasses lens held near a child playing outside on grass

11.This toddler discovered the microwave, and thought they would give it a try:

Damaged video game controller with melted parts and a small shoe on a metal surface, surrounded by batteries and dry leaves

12.This toddler has a vendetta against blinds:

Two window frames with damaged blinds. The left blind is tangled and broken, while the right blind is mostly intact. Couch with red pillow below

13.This toddler has a very specific way of eating their post-dinner bread snack:

Slice of bread with a large bite taken from the center, placed on a granite surface

14.This toddler realized the ~perfect~ place to store toothpicks is the toaster:

Toaster filled with toothpicks instead of bread
u/green_prepper / Via reddit.com

15.This toddler decided, "If I don't get screen time, nobody's getting screen time":

A television screen with visible cracks and multicolored vertical lines, indicating damage

16.This toddler brought a whole new meaning to "bagel bites":

Eight sesame seed bagels cooling on a wire rack in a kitchen setting

17.This toddler figured out the perfect way to eat a frosted donut:

A donut with a hole filled with caramelized sauce and sprinkles on a paper plate

18.This toddler threw a remote against a stone fireplace after being told "no":

Disassembled remote control with circuit board, rubber keypad, outer casing, and two AA batteries. Streaming service buttons: Netflix, Sling, Hulu, Amazon

19.And this toddler's attempt at giving their parent a pedicure:

Feet on a red and blue quilt with chipped red nail polish on toenails

Which one of these toddler habits did you think was the worst? Do you have any hilariously unhinged toddler stories? Let us know in the comments!

H/T: r/mildlyinfuriating and r/KidsAreFuckingStupid