Yahoo Lifestyle 15 Women Who Had Zero Tolerance For Toxicity And Ended Their Friendships For Good Reasons
Recently Reddit user ooooofriend asked the community, "Women who had a best friend turn into an enemy, what happened?"
Unfortunately, women had a lot of heartbreaking stories to share. Cutting ties with a best friend is a very brutal experience, but sometimes necessary.
So, here are some women who had zero tolerance for toxicity and cut their BFFs out of their lives completely:
Note: Some submissions include topics of sexual assault and suicide. Please proceed with caution.
1."When I was 15, she convinced me to break up with my first love, then had sex with him within a week. They were together for about three years after that. I’ve now healed from that, but back then, I hated her so badly."
2."She said it was a good thing that Roe v. Wade got overturned, so I dropped her. It both baffled and disgusted me how she could celebrate such a big loss for women all over the US :(."
3."I was really struggling back in January, and she messaged me out of the blue asking if I'd lie for her in court and say I called her neighbor a slur, as she'd told the police I had. I was confused and went straight to a mutual friend to find out what was going on before I could answer (a friend I'd known for longer than either of us had known the other person). She'd been in a physical fight with a neighbor months before, hadn't said a thing (I moved far away a few years ago), and then broken bail conditions by shouting at the neighbor. I declined to get involved, she got mad, and then I blocked her."
"Eight months later, I was contacted and informed that she had gone ahead and told the courts I had shouted the slur, so now I'm a potential witness against her for perjury.
I'd known her for over 10 years, and she could be a little petty, but I never expected a situation like this. We're in our thirties..."
4."I caught her husband cheating on her and showed her proof, but she doesn't believe me or my friend. She thinks we're lying to destroy her marriage and life. I think her husband also convinced her that we're bad and lying because she does have self-esteem issues and married a guy who manipulated her into marriage. Regardless, it was for the best because we didn't enjoy who she was becoming after being with this guy. They also have a kid now, and we've heard through others that he hasn't been helpful or supportive at all. You made your bed, now lay in it."
5."We’d been friends since the eighth grade. I found out that most of the rockiness in my marriage at one time was because my friend was in my husband’s ear. She tried convincing him that I wasn’t attending classes at college and working — no, I must be cheating on him! The fact that my work hours were documented and paid, and I was maintaining a 4.0 GPA while maintaining our household, running three kids back and forth to school from softball...we definitely didn’t have a dead bedroom. But, it didn’t stop him from being suspicious because why would my 'best friend' lie?!?"
"Why did she attempt to sabotage my marriage? No clue. But a few years down the line, her husband left her because (drum roll please) they were both cheating on each other, but she’s the one who got caught.
I hate that I ever considered her my friend."
6."My friend started hanging out with the guy who sexually assaulted me. We were all childhood friends, so it makes sense they were still in touch. But she started talking to me about him constantly — it felt like she was setting the stage for a 'reconciliation' or something. It made me really anxious to hear about him and hear her speak so positively about him. She was very quick to get angry with me, so I practiced my words and calmly told her that while I didn't care who she was friends with, she should not talk to me about him because it made me feel anxious. I told her I was still healing from what he did."
"She blew up on me, accused me of 'playing the victim,' said what he did 'wasn't that bad' and that I needed to 'get over it' because it was 'pathetic.' She said that she spoke to him and he felt so bad, but I needed to move on.
Mind you, the sexual assault had only happened three years prior, so it was still heavily affecting my life. She knew that as I had opened up to her. I had lost so many friends to this situation.
My heart broke. I told her off, stopped engaging, and blocked her.
She tried to be friends again but didn't provide a real apology. She just said, 'I don't know why we aren't friends, but I miss you.' We don't talk or hang out, but I decided to forgive her in my heart and I wish her the best. I hope she's a better friend to others now."
7."Out of nowhere, she completely betrayed me. She ghosted me for weeks, then said some incredibly cruel things about me, using very private information I had told her to twist the knife. She then came up with a truly unfair interpretation of some of my behavior and, in a truly bizarre move, attempted to sabotage me professionally. All at the same time."
"I need to stress that I never did anything bad to her at all, and she never claimed that I did. Nothing bad had happened between us. We were best friends for years and I loved her, was always there for her in every way I could be, and always would have been. That's what made it so weird.
I wouldn't call her an enemy necessarily, but she will never be in my life again. I've informed mutual friends that I never want to be around her ever again."
8."I sent her a long text message describing everything she did wrong. She called me a bad word, said I had a victim complex, and didn’t acknowledge literally any point that I made. I was so angry. I was so mad that someone treated me so wrong, and they didn’t recognize that (even when I laid it out for them) and still called me names. I blocked her and have had no contact since. That was a couple of months ago. I am calmer now, and it’s been calming knowing that she just wasn’t a good friend and that my life is better after getting rid of her. There’s no such thing as karma — she won’t ever acknowledge her part in treating me badly. But, the anger is gone, and now I can just move on."
9."She was weirdly possessive of me throughout the friendship. She was pushy physically and would brag to others about how she was able to do things with me (like cuddle with me or stay over night). I think I started to distance myself after a while because this energy was so strange. She'd also always compliment me excessively and I just felt like I was being put on a pedestal and was not comfortable with it. It felt like love-bombing. Looking back, I think she was always an enemy. She was the type to always talk shit about her other friends to me, so of course, I have to assume she was also doing the same about me. It was like you did one thing 'wrong,' and you were in her 'bad books' and everyone would soon know about it."
"Eventually, she ended up getting a long-term boyfriend, and all of that possessive energy disappeared almost overnight (I was thankful, tbh). I think I started to distance myself then, but I noticed I would hear from other friends that she and I were apparently fighting (even though I didn't say anything to anyone). I assumed at that point that she was talking shit about me, so I just cut things off completely.
She continued to talk shit about me after that and even attempted to turn mutual friends against me. One friend even told me she pressured him to no longer be friends with me. Her reactions were just so out of proportion for what happened.
It was honestly exhausting being around her. I cut her off two years ago, and I've felt way more relaxed since."
10."She started sleeping with a married woman who we both worked with. That woman also treated our other coworkers like shit. My ex-bestie would leave work for hours with her and showed up with hickeys all over her neck all the time and basically stopped talking to me to continue whatever she was doing. When I asked her to talk to her new girlfriend about the way she was treating our coworkers and how inappropriate it was, she cut me off. They're still together, and it doesn't sound like either of them have become less messy or learned anything, so I'm happy to be free of having to deal with it."
11."She became envious when I started getting attention for my artwork (she was an artist, too). We both participated in a group show together, and the resentment she had toward me became worse. She ended up shit-talking me to her other friends and devalued me over time, telling me that I 'wasn’t a real artist.' It started to really get to me to the point where I couldn’t paint anymore, and I started going to therapy to understand WTF was going on. I cut off the friendship and finally was able to paint again after a one-year hiatus. Art is one of the only things that makes me happy, and she tried to ruin it for me. Why some people can’t be happy for their friends is something I don’t understand. I’m always happy for my friends when good things come their way."
12."Her on-again-off-again boyfriend texted me essentially telling me he was in love with me, and I absolutely shot him down and immediately showed her all the messages. Yet, she blamed me and told everyone I must have been flirting with him behind her back."
13."She quit her job and expected me and my ex-boyfriend to pay for the apartment we were sharing. Then she came after me when she got evicted long after my ex-boyfriend and I moved out. To this day, she expects me to pay her the eviction even though we paid our half of the rent for the month, and thankfully, I wasn’t on the lease yet."
14."She decided a week before her wedding to tell me I was no longer one of her bridesmaids. But, she still expected me to come to the wedding. I live on the other side of the country from her, and had already bought my dress and plane tickets for me and my husband. She was mad because I didn’t want to do the sleepover with all the girls the night before the wedding. I was only going to be in town for three days, and not seeing my family was non-negotiable because I'm never there. She basically gave me an ultimatum saying if I don’t go to the sleepover I’m no longer a bridesmaid."
"Safe to say we are no longer friends. She really came at me and acted like I was in the wrong for not going, even though she is the one who decided to basically 'bench' me a week before the 'game' for prioritizing my family over her.
It was a 12-year-long friendship that went down the drain because bridezilla disease is apparently real. It's really sad when you’re the only person in your friend group to move across the country, and it's hard to be understood when they’ve never been away from their family.
This happened in September, so it’s still raw and painful, especially knowing I’ll be in town soon for Christmas to see my family. It'll be my first time going home and not seeing her. It's weird and sad, but I refuse to be disrespected and be painted as 'the bad guy' for putting my family and my own needs first."
15.And finally, "She wanted everything I had (like a car, house, and husband). I was 19 when I got married, and she ghosted me when I asked her to be my maid of honor (it turned out she liked my husband). She told me she hated me when I bought my first car as an adult and when I bought my house at 24 years old. She wanted my life, and she made little effort to conceal her jealousy even though I tried to help her come up, too. We’ve been friends since we were kids and we're now in our thirties. I helped her get a car, got her into rehab, gave her a place to live rent-free, helped her budget, and got control of her finances. But it was never enough. She would threaten to attempt suicide when things wouldn’t go her way, knowing I struggled with those thoughts myself (especially after my own father died that way)."
"I had a major surgery, and she couldn’t even 'be bothered' to visit me in the hospital. I eventually got tired of how I was being treated, and I ended our friendship.
We’re not enemies, though — it just is what it is. What’s done is done and can’t be taken back. All we can do is move forward.
I don’t have any negative feelings left — I just speak on facts whenever the situation comes up. I am completely indifferent, to be honest, and that’s how I knew I was done and ready to let go of such a long friendship."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
