Yahoo Lifestyle 13 Things People With High Social Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists
Intelligence isn't limited to book smarts. Beyond academic achievement, psychologists share that social intelligence is also important. And certain social intelligence phrases especially stand out to mental health experts.
"Social intelligence is the ability to effectively understand one’s own as well as other’s actions," says Dr. Crystal Saidi, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks. "Someone with high social intelligence will be able to effectively navigate interpersonal relationships, understand and respond to social cues, and demonstrate empathy and self-awareness in social interactions."
It sounds like a home run. How do you know if you have high social intelligence? You may sound something like the below phrases. Psychologists share that these are 13 things people with high social intelligence often say. But don't worry if none of these ring a bell for you—you can also improve social intelligence with a three-step plan.
Related: 16 Things People With High Emotional Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists
13 Things People With High Social Intelligence Frequently Say, According to Psychologists
1. "Tell me more about that."
This phrase showcases two pillars of high social intelligence: genuine curiosity and active listening.
"By inviting someone to elaborate, the speaker demonstrates they value the other person's perspective of high social," says Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services.
2. "How do you feel about that?"
This one is similar to No. 1 but in question form. The use of the word "feel" also pops.
"This phrase shows genuine curiosity and emotional awareness," explains Dr. Alexandra Stratyner, Ph.D., a New York-based psychologist. "It places value on the other person's feelings, indicating that their emotional state is important to you."
Related: 12 Common Habits of People With High Emotional Intelligence, According to Psychologists
3. "What do you think?"
We all have opinions, and we're often eager to share ours. However, sharing the floor (and oxygen in the room) is a sign of high social intelligence.
"This phrase can indicate respect for another's opinions and encourages engagement," Dr. Frank says. "It's often used in group settings to ensure everyone feels heard. For instance, in team discussions, asking this can draw out diverse ideas, creating a more productive and collaborative environment."
4. "I can see why you feel that way."
This one is great to pull out, even if you don't see things the same way.
"People with high social intelligence know how important it is for others to feel understood," Dr. Stratyner says.
Related: If You Use These 3 Phrases, You Have Higher Emotional Intelligence Than Most, Psychologists Say
5. "How can I make this easier for you?"
If it sounds like music to your ears, imagine how it might feel for someone in a bind.
Dr. Stratyner shares a hint: "It shows you care about the other person's comfort and are willing to assist in making things smoother for them."
6. "What can I do to support you?"
A twist on No. 5: this phrase can take a load off someone struggling, such as with the death of a family member.
"This simple phrase shows you are willing to help and puts the focus on their needs versus your own," Dr. Saidi says.
Related: 11 Surprising Phrases That Make You 'Instantly Likable,' Psychologists Say
7. "You’re really good at (specific skill)."
People with high social intelligence have mastered the art of making people feel good and have deep, authentic relationships to show for it.
"Giving specific compliments—as opposed to generic praise—can show sincerity and build confidence. It also feels more genuine and meaningful," Dr. Saidi explains.
In other words, instead of saying "good job" or "high five," call out what you appreciate about the person's effort, such as the skill, process or work ethic they used to complete a task.
8. "Thank you for sharing that with me."
Dr. Frank says this one sings regardless of the situation but can be especially meaningful after someone opens up.
"Gratitude, especially for someone's vulnerability, is a sign of respect and emotional intelligence," Dr. Frank says. "If a friend confides in you about a personal issue, saying this communicates that you value their trust and are there for them."
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9. "Let me know if you want to talk about it."
If a person needs a push to open up, consider this line a gentle one (that simultaneously respects boundaries).
"This phrase offers support while respecting the other person's pace and need for space," Dr. Stratyner says.
10. "I'd like to understand where you're coming from."
Disagreements can open the door to learning more about one another—if you turn the knob with a phrase like this one.
"This frames the conversation around mutual understanding instead of judgment, a critical component of conflict resolution," Dr. Frank says. "During a disagreement, for example, using this phrase encourages open dialogue instead of defensiveness."
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11. "I can relate to that feeling."
Life can feel lonely, especially during a dark season. These six words can provide some light.
"This shows empathy by sharing common emotional ground, helping the other person feel less alone," Dr. Stratyner says.
12. "I could be wrong, but here's my thought."
The last two phrases on this list will be plot twists. It's easy to equate "intelligence" with "always right." However, that's not the case.
"This phrase could reflect humility and a willingness to collaborate," Dr. Frank explainss. "Recognizing that your perspective isn't absolute makes others feel comfortable sharing their own ideas. At work, prefacing a suggestion like this can make discussions more inclusive and less competitive."
13. "I’m sorry."
And when you do step in it? The ability to genuinely say these two words is a top sign of high social intelligence.
"Taking accountability without any excuses can rebuild trust and respect after a conflict or misunderstanding," Dr. Saidi shares.
Related: 10 Phrases To Effectively Start a Conversation, According to Psychologists
3 Tips for Improving Social Intelligence
1. Practice active listening
It's not just about hearing words.
"Active listening...involves entirely focusing on the speaker, showing interest through body language and reflecting on what is being said," Dr. Stratyner says. "By removing distractions—like checking your phone or thinking about your response while someone is speaking—you signal to others that their thoughts and feelings are important."
Related: An Etiquette Expert Is Begging People To Stop This 'Rude' Habit in Public
2. Develop empathy
Dr. Stratyner says an excellent way to develop empathy is to put yourself in someone else's shoes.
"Focus on seeing the world from someone else's perspective during particular events," she explains. "By paying attention to how others feel and what they experience, you gain better insight into their everyday life."
Responding with empathy can make relationships stronger.
"Understanding someone's emotional state shows them respect even if you do not support their views," Dr. Stratyner adds.
3. Enhance your social curiosity
Highly socially intelligent people are the ones always asking questions to learn more about other people's interests, experiences and values.
"This curiosity helps build rapport, as people enjoy talking about themselves when genuinely interested in their stories," Dr. Stratyner says. "Asking about someone's passions, motivations or experiences invites them to share more profound insights into who they are, which can strengthen the emotional connection."
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Related: 22 Surprising Phrases That Make You 'Instantly Unlikable,' Psychologists Warn
Sources:
Dr. Crystal Saidi, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Thriveworks
Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services
Dr. Alexandra Stratyner, Ph.D., a New York-based psychologist
