I Want People Who Escaped Toxic Relationships To Share The Behaviors They Thought Were Normal Until They Found A Healthy Partner

I can’t lie, I’ve been in a toxic relationship or two over the years, so I’ve had a few crash courses in learning the signs of "bad behavior." It took a lot of tears — and likely a lot more therapy — to work through the later-learned trauma of it all, and reprogram my brain to understand what a healthy partnership actually looks like. Everyone’s toxic experiences are different, but oftentimes, people don’t realize they’re in something unhealthy until after the fact.

So, if you're a survivor of a toxic relationship, I'd like to know: what unhealthy behaviors did you think were normal until you entered a healthy relationship?

Maybe you thought your partner consuming endless amounts of alcohol was par for the course until you started dating someone with a healthy relationship towards alcohol, who didn't get belligerent at the bar every Friday night.

Perhaps you learned that “little white lies” weren’t so little in the long run, and were ultimately able to learn how to communicate and ask questions through healthy dialogue.

It’s possible you heard so many backhanded compliments that you thought that’s how all couples engaged. But then you met someone new and realized someone telling you, “That dress looks amazing. You would look good in it if you lost weight,” doesn’t translate into admiration or care.

Perhaps you believed that your partner needing to know your every move or constantly calling you if they’re not with you (because they love or miss you that much) was caring and romantic, but your mindset changed when you found someone who showed you they loved you in a bonny and balanced way.

Or maybe you dated someone who was only available to talk when they called you, but never never when you called them. And when you explained this to your new partner, they were like, "What??"

There are so many toxic traits and behaviors swirling around relationships these days that it can be hard to know when you’re caught up, especially when you think the love is real. But when you get a taste of something healthy with someone who genuinely cares, the experience is night and day. So for anyone who’s (knowingly or unknowingly) escaped a toxic relationship, I want to hear from you. Share your experiences and what you learned in the comments below, or respond anonymously with this Google Form. Your story may appear in a future BuzzFeed article.