Yahoo Lifestyle You'll Milk the Laughs with These Hilarious Jokes About Cows
Whether you’re at work, school, or a social event, making small talk can be hard. When in doubt, you could try sticking with safe-bet topics like the weather, a funny Tik-Tok you can’t stop thinking about, or a detailed analysis of your beloved pop stars like Taylor, Charlie, and Chapel. You could also break out of the pack with some well-thought-out, pre-prepared conversation starters. Or you could do what we do: Target everyone’s funny bone. Humor is a great ice breaker, which is why having a few fun jokes in your conversational arsenal can help, and we're not just talking about dad jokes. The key is having some bits that lean more delightful than, say, Don Rickles.
Rated G, farm-friendly jokes are a safe bet when it comes to getting chuckles from an audience of all ages. Everyone knows the oldie-but-goodie, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” “To get to the other side!” But guess what? There’s a flock of other funny chicken jokes out there. Even better, you can mine the barn for other material. When you’re in the mooooooo-d to tell an udderly hilarious joke, there’s nothing better than a little cow comedy. Here, we’ve got plenty of heifer-infused humor and cow jokes that will help you wrangle even the toughest audience.
No-Bull, Funny Cow Puns and Sayings
The steaks have never been greater.
I like your mooves.
Where’s the beef?
Relax—don’t have a cow.
We got lost thanks to your bum steer advice.
Steer clear of the office today if you don’t want to work.
Everything goes in one ear and out the udder with you.
Why buy the cow when milk is so cheap?
I plan to milk it for all its worth.
I herd that.
You’re all that and a bag of cow chips
It’s not great to have a finger in every cow pie.
Happy St. Cow Patty’s Day.
Trick or teat!
You butchered that punchline.
Silly Cow Jokes
What’s a cow’s favorite tv show? “Graze Anatomy.”
What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake.
What did the farmer say to the calf? It’s pasture bedtime.
Why were the cows in a fight? They had beef.
What happens when you try to reason with a cow? It’s an udder disaster.
What do you call an emo cow? Moooooo-dy.
Getty Images Where do cows brunch? At the calfé.
What do you call a cow who refuses to be milked? A milk dud.
What do you call a cow’s illogical point? Moot.
What’s the cow’s favorite song? “Moo-ves Like Jagger.”
What’s the cow’s favorite Melanie Griffith movie? “Milk Money.”
What do you call a cow that’s out of this world? An animal in udder space.
Where do cows get their medicine? The farm-acy.
What’s a cow’s favorite candy bar? Milky Way.
What do you call a cow who has too many coffees? Over-calfinated.
What do you call a cow who strikes it rich? A cash cow.
What do you call a grass-fed cow? A lawn moo-er.
What do you call a cow’s sting operation? A steak out.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
What do you call a cow that enjoys stand-up comedy? A laughing stock.
Where do cows dance? The Meat Ball.
What do you call a grifting cow? Skim milk.
What do you call a disappearing cow? Moodini.
Getty Images What do you call a sleeping cow? A bulldozer.
What do you call a prone cow? Ground beef.
What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.
What do you call a cow who won a pageant? Dairy Queen.
What show do cows watch on Netflix? Dairy Girls
Why do cows have bells? Their horns don’t work.
Knock-knock Cow Jokes
Knock knock. Who’s there? An interrupting cow. An interrupting cow wh--. MOO
Knock knock. Who’s there? A cow says. A Cow says who? No, a cow says moo.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Moo. Moo who? Make up your mind. Are you a cow or an owl?
Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cowabunga, dude!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Moo. Moo who? Stop crying, you silly cow.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow much longer can you tolerate this knocking?
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