The 15-minute orgasm

May 4, 2011, 3:18 pmwomenshealth

Struggle to find the clitoris? This orgasm trick will blow your mind... and his

Better Sex
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An orgasm shouldn't be an optional extra. Follow our advice to ensure an orgasm every time

Act one: a scene that repeats itself millions of times per night around the world.

Man finally gets to go downtown and fumbles to get his hand where it counts.

Man starts random up-and-down or circular motion, hoping to God he can hit the clitoris and not be surprised.

Woman moans and man thinks he’s doing well.

Woman stops moaning.

Man shifts technique or goes into hyperdrive, and woman asks him to slow down a bit.

Man slows down, and exactly five seconds of mild positive response later, nothing.

Man feels like a dog trying to open a door with no thumbs.

Woman gently stops his increasingly erratic attack after 10 minutes. Best case, they move on to something the man can understand.

You know, like penis in vagina.

Sound familiar? It’s time for a change of scene. Enter...

The 15-minute orgasm

Most men would be the first to admit they’re not fans of asking for directions. But they’ll happily read a manual – especially one that tells them how to make you orgasm in a new way.

When US entrepreneur and author Timothy Ferriss interviewed sex educator and adult movie star Nina Hartley he came across the One Taste method – a slow and meditative routine where a man strokes a woman on the upper quadrant of her clitoris for 15 minutes.

Ferriss tried it on his girlfriend. The results? His lucky lady had two strong orgasms, plus an extended 15-minute orgasm.

Nice one, Ferriss.

To share the love, Ferriss explains the method in his new book, The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex And Becoming Superhuman . To show our appreciation we, in turn, are now sharing this method with you and your partner. Listen and learn well, grasshopper...


THE HOW-TO

Kissing, fondling, undressing, whispering and requesting are all fun and wonderful parts of sex. Unfortunately, multitasking these actions often fractures the attention you need to reach orgasm. But by developing a singular focus through isolated practice, this focus can be brought into sex.

The technique requires 15 minutes of 100 per cent concentration on approximately three square millimetres of contact. Nothing more. Test this and practise it with your partner. Trust us: the pay-off will alter your sexual experiences forever.

NO PRESSURE

Remind each other that this is a goal-less practice. This is 100 per cent critical. There is no objective, just a focus on a single point of contact. This should remove all expectations and pressure.

He is going to touch you for 15 minutes. You don’t need to do anything, and you don’t have to do anything afterwards. There is nowhere to get to, nothing to make happen. Just focus on the single point of contact.

The only focus should be on the short stroke – one stroke, one stroke – just as the emphasis would be on the breath – one breath, one breath – in most forms of meditation. View it as an exercise in mindful awareness. There is no goal.

ASSUME THE POSITION

First, you disrobe from the waist down and lie on your back using a pillow for neck support. Your legs are bent and spread, feet together in butterfly position. If this makes your hips uncomfortable, pillows can be put underneath your knees.

Based on the premise that it is easier to achieve the proper angle of contact with the left hand, your partner should sit to your right side on top of at least two pillows and straddle his bent left leg perpendicularly across your torso, foot flat on the opposite side. Add as many pillows as necessary to relieve any pressure from his left leg on your abdomen. Too many is better than too few. His right leg is straight or relaxed in butterfly position.

Left-handed positioning is ideal, however many blokes are right-handed and can get impatient with poor fine motor control. He may have more luck sitting on your left side and using his right hand. If he does this, it’s important for him to tilt his right wrist towards you slightly as if he were looking at a watch. This creates a better finger angle.

Since most of the world is right-handed, all illustrations (below) are from this position, man seated on the left side of the woman.

HIT THE SPOT

Now you need to find the upper quadrant point of greatest sensation and get your partner to stroke you there. Limit this to exactly 15 minutes. You can use a timer if you want. This removes performance pressure and creates a safe start-and-end point. Look at it as you would yoga or a deep breathing sequence. OK, now it’s time to give this method a go. Using the illustrations (right) as a guide, get him to find your upper quadrant and:


1. Separate the labia

2. Retract clitoral hood upwards with the heel of his palm.

3. Anchor clitoris with his right thumb by holding the hood back.

4. Get him to put his left hand under your bum, two fingers under each cheek, with his thumb resting on (not in) the base of the entrance to the vagina (ring of introitus). This will act as an anchor and help you to relax.

Tell him to imagine he is looking directly at your clitoris from between your legs, with the top of the clitoris as 12 o’clock on a clock face.

Get him to find 1 o’clock – ideally a small indentation or pocket between the hood and your clitoris – with his right index finger and begin stroking using the lightest touch possible (think two pages of paper as depth of pressure) and only 1.5mm or so of movement.

The tip of his finger is better than the pad. Have him stroke at a constant speed for periods of two to three minutes – it’s OK to change speed between periods.

5. If his back gets tired, try bracing his left elbow against your right leg.

6. Once the 15 minutes have passed, “grounding” is performed to ease you out of the experience. Novice males can simply apply strong pressure down on the pubic bone and up towards the woman’s head, using overlapping hands as indicated. You dictate the pressure.

Most women find the strongest pressure the most pleasurable for ending a session. Grounding sounds new-agey, but it consummates a complete experience with beginning (set-up), middle (stroking) and end (grounding). This format gives both parties a sense of accomplishment that artfully helps avoid fixation on a full-blown orgasm as closure.

Things to remember

Light contact is key: remember two pages of paper as depth of pressure. No more. Imagine tickling a sleeping friend’s nose just enough to make him scratch his own nose, but not enough to wake him up.

Consider wearing a blindfold or airline eye mask. It can make you less self-conscious and increases tactile sensitivity.

Turn off the “show” – you don’t need to moan and groan. It’s about subtle sensation and nothing extra.

No idle chatter as talk can be distracting and prevent orgasm. Using an eye mask helps minimise the talking impulse.

If you’re experiencing strong contractions which will clearly exhaust you before 15 minutes are up, breathe and push out slightly as if you’re going to pee. It will help you extend the plateau and minimise fatigue.

It’s fine to have sex afterwards, but not until the session is finished. Once you’ve completed five 15-minute sessions without caving in, feel free to break the rules and go nuts before 15 minutes are up.

Encourage him to ask directional questions: “Would you like a lighter or stronger stroke?” “More to your left or right?” “Higher or lower?”

Click the image below for 35 sex positions to try!

35 sex positions

Extracted from the 4-hour body: an uncommon guide to rapid fat-loss, incredible sex and becoming superhuman by Timothy Ferriss. (Random House).

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15 Comments

  1. hank07:59am Thursday 27th March 2014 ESTReport Abuse

    It is more important for the woman to orgasm then anything else. It is in the giving pleasure to the lady that you get your happiness.

    Reply
  2. Newbies07:33am Thursday 27th February 2014 ESTReport Abuse

    i never have to fake it with my hubby, hes great. pity the bed gets so wet from me squirting

    Reply
  3. Jeff A06:06am Thursday 26th December 2013 ESTReport Abuse

    Using a vibrator with your girl in bed will save you a lot of work. Efficiency and all that.

    Reply
  4. Joanna Baigent05:19pm Saturday 16th February 2013 ESTReport Abuse

    Why would you two knockers even bother reading this? if you don't care why waste your time? And if you haven't tried it, then fxxx you wouldn't have a clue

    Reply
  5. Glib09:44am Thursday 22nd November 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    If your partner does not care about your orgasm, YOU chose the WRONG guy ! YOUR FAULT. There are plenty of guys out there who know everything there is to know about the female anatomy. It's not that complicated.

    Reply
  6. Daniel04:04pm Wednesday 24th October 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    im glad there are so many guys who are rubbish in bed, makes me look like a god

    Reply
  7. Charissa02:13pm Friday 05th October 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    oh please are we going back to high school, like Lori said we women know how to fake it for our men folk and man this looks like it would take too long and would require less time down under with our men

    Reply
  8. topo08:45pm Friday 14th September 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    bp carwash in 3 minutes im clean and gone

    Reply
  9. ken11:01am Tuesday 23rd August 2011 ESTReport Abuse

    Sounds good! but in reality?? I think my wife would be asleep before anything really got started. She says she orgasms, and if that is just to make me feel good ....well it shows she is thinking about my feelings. I know she enjoys it thats the main thing.

    Reply
  10. nick11:58pm Sunday 21st August 2011 ESTReport Abuse

    I would do anything to make the lady to have orgasms, that really turns me on and would be a complete satisfaction for me as much as for her : )

    Reply

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