Yahoo Lifestyle Touch for better sex
The body parts that receive the most attention in bed are the genitals – and for bloody good reason.
But one of your most potent sex organs covers you from head to toe: your skin. With a surface area of about 4.5 metres, your skin is jam-packed with spine-tinglingly sensitive nerve receptors, so you’re missing out big time if you don’t factor in some skin-on-skin action during sex.
Aside from the obvious benefits of sensual touch, there’s an emotional component as well. “Skin-to-skin contact stimulates the production of the bonding hormone oxytocin,” says Dr Yvonne Fulbright, author of The Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking. “It also releases endorphins, which can enhance your feelings for someone.”
Total-body exploration can even boost your desire for each other, says Dr Debby Herbenick, sex educator at the Kinsey Institute in the US. How so? Stimulating each other’s skin also increases – get this – sweat production. We know, it sounds rank, but consider this: releasing your natural scents subconsciously draws you together. Aww. Even more reason to crank the heater, eh?
Enjoy some face time
If you’ve ever had a half-decent facial, you’ll know that gentle face stimulation can be as satisfying as a full-body massage. Well, almost. The nose, eyelids and lips are among the most sensitive spots on the body because they are thin-skinned and boast a higher concentration of nerves.
So treat each other to a seriously soothing face-stroking session. Sit cross-legged while he lies back with his head on your lap. With your index and middle fingers, trace a line from his forehead, down his temples and along his jaw, bringing your fingers together at his chin. Next, make small circles over his cheeks and around his eyes, gently grazing his lids. Finally, take the pad of your index finger and run it over his lips. You’ll stimulate his delicate flesh, boosting blood flow and sensitivity. Bonus: it’s your turn next.
Strip each other
Yes, getting undressed is usually a requirement when it comes to sex, but what so many of us are missing is that taking each other’s clothes off is also an opportunity to engage in tactile touch. Take turns sliding off each other’s clothes. Ahem, slowly please.
“As the garments fall from your body, you’ll feel a grazing, tickling sensation, exciting the nerve endings in a new way,” says Dr Patti Britton, author of The Art of Sex Coaching . Take the time to feel the air on your bare skin, his breath on your neck and hands on your waist. Pretend you’re 16 again and enjoy a good old-fashioned pash.
How does your brain get the memo that sex is on the menu? “Particular areas of skin have specific receptors that transmit messages to the brain’s sexual centres,” says sex therapist Dr Sandra Blanton.
“Because touch is registered in the sexual centre of the brain, it relays a message to the genitals to prepare for intercourse.”
While your bits, nipples and bum are go-to erogenous zones, areas such as the inner thighs, the small of the back and under the belly button are super-responsive because of their proximity to the private parts.
“The skin here is thin and sensitive, and when you’re teasing that close without actually touching, you build anticipation, which amplifies your touch,” Dr Fulbright says.
So get him to lick his way down from your navel to your pubic bone, then veer off and create a new path over your hip bone and along the crease of your thigh. Finally, get him to gently suck on your inner thigh (trust us, this works); the flesh here responds to a stronger sucking motion, and the wetness will hint at other forms of oral fun.
Lighten up
A deep, relaxing pre-coital massage is nice and all, but for something novel, explore barely-there touch. A study published in the journal Nature Neuroscience says that when hairy sections of skin are slowly stroked, the movement stimulates the C-tactile nerves, a set of specific pleasure fibres.
Run your fingers up and down each other’s arms and along the napes of your necks. (Avoid the obvious erogenous zones like each other’s genitals for now. As you become more aroused, that area needs firmer stimulation, so a light, ticklish touch can feel uncomfortable.) These soft caresses have a mutually beneficial side effect, says Dr Barbara Keesling, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Bad Girl Sex. For both the giver and the receiver, light touching activates the parasympathetic nervous system, inducing a relaxed state. Ahh.
Shock your senses
Scale up the pleasure factor by closing your eyes while he touches you softly in random places from head to toe. “When you shut off one sense, such as sight, your sense of touch goes crazy trying to compensate,” says Dr Sandor Gardos, founder of MyPleasure. Plus, when you can’t see what will happen next, the anticipation will fire up your nerves, making your skin respond more intensely to physical contact.” So kill the lights during foreplay or tie on blindfolds for an erotic experience.
Feel a little pain
We don’t want to freak you out, but for some people, a tiny bit of pain during sex, can feel surprisingly erotic. “As you become more aroused, your body releases endorphins that act as a natural pain reliever,” says Dr Ian Kerner, author of Sex Recharge. “Plus, firmer touch causes blood to rush to those areas, heightening the response of your skin receptors.”
This is why a light spanking can actually feel good. Plus, the element of surprise can make it more exciting. Just make sure it’s OK with your partner – if he’s not into it you could kill the mood pretty damn quick.
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