Yahoo Lifestyle The art of the quickie
Photography Sean Laurenz
You hear it all the time: men would have sex all day, every day, if they could.
And as it turns out, women want some action far more often than they’re getting it, too. According to the latest WH National Sex Survey, the majority of Aussie women wish they were shagging at least three to five times a week. But in reality, it’s more like once or twice per week, and almost always on the weekend, the same survey found.
So why aren’t our sheets burning with desire more often? Blame our busy schedules. Studies have found that couples prioritise things like sleep and work ahead of sex – which has serious ramifications for the quality of intimacy and satisfaction in your relationship.
The solution? The quickie. As the name suggests, it’s all about fast, hot, unbridled passion. Without taking the time for foreplay (or even taking off all your clothes), the whole encounter can take less time than it usually would to unbutton your shirt. And you still get the health benefits of longer sex sessions.
“You get the same positive chemical reactions in your brain when you orgasm, whether it takes five or 30 minutes to get there,” says sexual health expert Dr Elna Rudolph. Quickies can also inject some spontaneous passion into your relationship. Think of them as “short bursts of intimacy,” says Rudolph.
If you’re one of the 75 per cent of women who never orgasm through sex alone, you can still experience the rush of adrenaline that comes with a sexy tryst at the kitchen sink while unloading the groceries. “It’s about managing your expectations,” says Rudolph. By not putting too much pressure on the experience, you can free yourself up to enjoy it for what it is – and maybe the excitement of something new will help you climax quicker. Here are some more tips to get maximum satisfaction in minimal time...
Mental foreplay
A large part of sex is in the mind, so drumming up excitement beforehand will ensure you’re both desperate for it. Sending a sexy text or naughty photo to your guy will give him a taste of what’s to come. “Sexting is a great way to flirt,” explains sex expert Dr Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First.
And it’s more common than you think – a study of 3447 young adults conducted by the University of Michigan found 43 per cent of them take part in sexting. And users of the popular app Snapchat, which lets you send photos that disappear within 10 seconds, are now sharing 200 million pics every day (we’re guessing they’re not swapping photos of their lunches).
Not into raunchy photos? According to Olivia Baniuszewicz, co-author of Flirtexting, a cheeky SMS could just entail you telling him what you want to do to him later. Just ensure the autocorrect is off – telling your guy, “I can’t wait to rip your oats off” just isn’t sexy. Later, when you two are together, put down your phone: a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found if women ignore distractions (phones, TVs, laptops), they can start to become aroused in 30 seconds. True story.
Get novel with locations
New and somewhat risky places can get you both steamy in seconds, since these surroundings awaken your senses and bring you into the moment. Make sure it’s discreet – like an empty room (with a door you can lock) at a party. Outdoor venues add an element of danger, making you explosively connected to each and every touch, sound, taste, smell and image as your adrenaline gets going.
“Couples generally lock into a few things that they know work and stop experimenting,” says Kerner. “But the brain is the biggest sex organ and anytime you try something new, you’re stimulating the brain’s natural desire for novelty.” Just use good judgement and be on the lookout for unsuspecting passers-by – and, erm, the police.
Fast moves
Before you get out of bed in the morning, spoon with your man: facing away from him, guide him inside you. This position is great because it’s easy for either of you to stimulate your clitoris. Doggy-style can be done in almost any location, plus its ability to deliver lightning-speed orgasms for you and deep penetration for your bloke makes it a winner. The missionary on a benchtop or desk is perfect for clitoral stimulation by his pubic bone area. Or try face-to-face sex, where you stand or lean against a wall, and get him to stimulate your clitoris during penetration to heighten the experience.
Lube it up
Lubrication is your body’s way of telling you that you’re turned on – but it can take time to warm up. “Even if you don’t have a problem self-lubricating, using bottled lube can enhance sex,” says sex expert Dr Patti Britton. In fact, women who used lube during the deed reported significantly higher levels of satisfaction and pleasure compared with those who didn’t, according to a study by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion. Rub some on his penis, or inside your vaginal lips, to help you move together and add sensations that enhance pleasure.
Experiment with toys
The quickest, most intense orgasms tend to be clitoral ones, and toys that stimulate this area can be great for a quickie as they help you climax faster. A clitoral vibrator or remote-controlled egg are fun “on-the-go” toys. Control it yourself while he thrusts, or let him take the reins so you can focus on the sensations. You can also experiment with couples’ toys, so both you and your partner are stimulated at the same time. Happy playing!
Why men love it
Sex writer Paul Sanctuary reveals why blokes like to move fast
It’s low-pressure: Men spend much of the time we’re having sex with you trying to last longer. So when you give us the go-ahead to let rip as soon as we’re ready, frankly, we’re thrilled. When you have an itch that must be scratched – now! – we’re only too happy to oblige. Hell, it actually takes a lot of pressure off us.
Clothes are sexy: Being naked is great – skin on skin is the best feeling ever – but having sex while fully clothed can be even better. By undoing a button or two and hitching your skirt up around your thighs (and pulling your undies to one side if you’re feeling extra naughty), the excitement of having you on a benchtop before someone catches us makes us go even faster.
Spontaneity adds spice: Those animalistic encounters where you’re clawing at our back, we’re pulling your hair and we both finish with a “What just happened?” look on our faces… gold. The buzz of doing it in an unexpected place, as well as that element of danger and excitement, can be as good as the sex itself.
Try one (or all) of these 35 sex positions!
