Should I move for my partner?

April 18, 2012, 12:27 pmwomenshealth

My husband was born in Italy and, even though he has lived in Australia since he was a child, he now wants us to move there. The problem is that I really don’t want to leave my family, friends or career to move to a country where I don’t even speak the language. Any advice on how we (and if) we can ever resolve this? - Zoe, via email


Sounds like you both hold passionate but opposing views. The first thing you both need to do is calm down, then write it down. Heated emotions create tension and can get in the way of a resolution, so take time out to each analyse your thoughts. Pinpoint exactly what it is that’s bothering you about moving overseas, particularly the fears you have about language, missing loved ones and finding work. Then, consider potential solutions to the problems you anticipate (taking a language course, looking at employment websites, and setting up Skype so you can connect with the folks at home). Write it all down so you’re prepped for a productive discussion.

Once you’ve both done that, set up a time when you can get together and discuss your thoughts calmly, taking care to really listen to each other, and ultimately find a solution. And remember: great relationships involve both compromise and risk, so if his desire to move is much stronger than yours is to stay, you owe it to your relationship to at least consider his idea seriously.

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