Here's Why the Less You Have Sex, the Less You Actually Want It

Having lots and lots of sex is like that old Pringles commercial: Once you pop, the fun doesn't stop.

Meanwhile, going through a dry spell might be agonising at first, but eventually you completely stop thinking about sex—or wanting it.

If you don't use it, you lose it. Photo: Thinkstock

Even Magic Mike has lost his power over you. And while that's not necessarily a bad thing, we couldn't help but wonder why, exactly, you lose it when you don't use it.

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Biologically speaking, regular sex boosts your blood flow down below, leading to increased lubrication (a sign you’re ready to rock), says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., a relationship expert and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great.

Plus, feel-good hormones like oxytocin and endorphins are released during sex, which tap into the pleasure center of the brain and leave you craving more.

Stress and pressure form work or kids can affect your sex drive. Photo: Thinkstock

So pumping the brakes on sex also puts a halt to desire and arousal, she says. Mystery solved, right?

But wait, there's more. Not thinking about sex on the reg might also mean you’re focusing on stressors and pressures (you know, like deadlines, debt, work, or kids), all of which are serious lady boner killers, says Orbuch.

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So here’s some advice you’ve heard before, because you probably need a reminder anyway: Just do it.

Allowing someone to get close to you can put you in the mood, even if you feel pretty meh leading up to it.

Try something new together to respark sexuality. Photo: Thinkstock

Another easy fix: “Small changes in a relationship can respark sexuality along with the passion,” says Orbuch.

So trying something new, like taking a workout class together or testing out a new restaurant, could pull you out of the drought. #MakeItRain