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'Wildly insensitive': Bride shamed for anniversary post
A bride has stirred up controversy among her friends and family on Facebook after sharing a post in celebration of her one-year wedding anniversary.
She took to Reddit to gauge whether she was in the wrong for publically honouring her big day which was also the scene of a terrible, unexpected tragedy.
“My husband and I had our wedding last year. The venue was beautiful and bordered a lake,” she explained.
“Unfortunately, during the reception, one of the young children snuck away from their parents and decided to... go for a swim, despite not being able to. This was tragic and devastating and obviously cut the day short,” she added.
The bride said that she and her husband “weren’t close” to the parents who lost their child and, although they’re friends on Facebook they haven’t kept in touch since that fateful day.
When the couple’s first anniversary came around, the woman posted several photos from her nuptials without a second thought.
“I didn't think anything of it until the comments came flooding in.
“I woke up to 30 comments and 15 missed calls. The top comment was from the mother of the child, who was outraged about it.”
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‘Delete and apologise’
The bride said the grieving mother left a “very long comment” calling the post disrespectful and admonishing her for not seeking her blessing beforehand.
The bride’s friends, parents and in-laws all weighed in on the drama, some demanding she removes the post and others suggesting she celebrate in private.
“Half of [my husband’s] family is screaming for me to take it down, apologise to the [child’s] parents, and show more respect, possibly by even celebrating our anniversary on a different day.
“Some of the family think that we should still be able to celebrate our anniversary on the actual day, but just keep it offline to ‘keep peace’.
“I don't think I did anything wrong with my post, and I feel like we should be allowed to celebrate our anniversary just like anyone else. I'm not celebrating the tragedy, I'm celebrating my wedding.”
The bride returned to add an update, saying that she’d since made her Facebook post private and deleted all the comments only to receive an email from her mother-in-law urging the couple to have another wedding because, in her opinion, they aren’t “really married” yet.
“[My husband’s] parents, grandparents, and the parents of the child are not only in the ‘different day’ camp, but they are also demanding a second wedding.
“According to them, they've ‘kept their silence’ for so long due to shock and being distracted by everything else going on this year, but they feel that ‘because of what happened’ we aren't ‘really married’ yet in the family,” the bride explained.
Her husband’s parents have offered to foot the bill for the “real” second wedding — until then, they will tolerate the couple “living in sin” due to COVID making large events inadvisable. Her own family, she adds, would find the concept of a second wedding laughable.
Reddit weighs in
Opinions from Reddit users came thick and fast in the comments section, with some saying that it was difficult to make a judgement call as they weren’t able to view the bride’s original Facebook post.
“[I] was really torn exactly because we didn’t have the whole context. Like, did she show a picture of the lake? That would make her the AH [asshole]. Otherwise, I don't think what she did was wrong,” one wrote.
“I think she maybe shouldn’t post pictures of the wedding (why would you want to...?) but I don’t see what’s wrong about celebrating your anniversary, depending on the wording of the post,” added another.
“‘A year married to the love of my life’ type of post I don’t think would be insensitive. ‘This day last year was the best day of my life’ is extremely insensitive,” they continued.
Other Reddit users were clearly appalled with the thought of celebrating such a tragic day.
One wrote:
“How you could have a child die at your wedding and want to look back on that day and not be completely devastated is beyond me.
“I could never bring myself to look at photos where a guest I invited had died on that day at my celebration. I would have had a separate photoshoot on a completely different day to commemorate my marriage and cancelled everything with the photographer I had hired.”
Another added:
“The comment that said something like ‘the issue isn't celebrating the marriage, it's celebrating the wedding’ hits the nail on the head for me.
“If I'm the bride, those wedding day photos stay private indefinitely.”
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