The last thing you need is an partner who isn’t supporting you, whether you’re trying to lose weight, change career or start a new hobby.
Earlier this week a young woman took to the Internet to ask for advice on how to deal with her boyfriend making comments about the way she looks.
“Advice needed: I’m losing weight but my partner is still giving me a hard time about my appearance,” the 21-year-old wrote on Reddit.
“We were going swimming the other day and I commented that the water was cold. I was met with the response ‘trust me you have more than enough insulation’,” she continued, in the now deleted post.
While many replied expressing outrage at the woman’s boyfriend’s attitude, it was the reply from a widower about his regret for not being more supportive of his wife’s body image that really struck a chord with the Internet.
“This is extremely blunt, but there is a lot of wisdom behind this,” the man started his response.
“I am an old man now, and my wife is gone. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever known, inside and out, … but she often struggled to see that.
The man recalled how his wife “started dieting and working out extensively” and because he was busy working and “absorbed” in his work he didn’t really notice.
It culminated in an argument where the man’s wife asked whether he didn’t find her attractive anymore because of her weight.
“One of my biggest regrets that still haunts me to this day is that I ever made her feel less than beautiful,” he continued.
“It still hurts me to think of the days and months where she was eating less in the hopes that I’d love her more. It makes me angry at myself.”
The man went on to offer some advice to the original poster about her relationship and how she was being treated by her boyfriend.
“As the user I’m replying to said, the weight you need to lose is not from yourself,” he wrote.
“I am sure that your partner has benevolent feelings towards you but he is behaving in a fundamentally unloving way to you. He’s giving you unhealthy food for your soul.”
He also recommended the woman talk to her boyfriend about how his treatment was making her feel.
“If he loves you, I think he would be horrified to realise what his words do to you. If he does not realise that, you need to feed your soul a better diet,” he finished his post.
The widower’s emotional response received a metaphorical round of applause from the forum with many praising him for his thoughtful and enlightening reply.
“Everyone is human, and no one is perfect, especially in a relationship. You realised that inadvertently hurt her and changed course. That’s what a kind, loving person does,” one user responded.
“Your post is incredibly valuable for women who’s partners disrespect them in the way OP’s partner does, because it helps them realise that there are people out there that care and want their partners to feel good.”
Many thanked the anonymous poster for making them reflect on how they had treated their own partners.
“I think your post also helped a lot of people that read it too. It reminded us to make sure we stay supportive and attentive to our partners. Reckonings are never easy, but they can be cleansing,” another user agreed.
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