Everyone’s talking about Bling Empire. Your partner, your mates, the internet, your nan, that twitchy bloke who always yells down the bus stop: EVERYONE.
But what is it? What’s it all about? And should you care?
Join us as we answer those questions and more.
What is Bling Empire?
Bling Empire is basically Crazy Rich Asians as a reality TV show, streaming on Netflix. However, these particular Asians are both “crazy rich” and just plain “crazy”.
The eight-episode series follows their lives, loves and outrageous spending sprees. Not to mention jaw-dropping parties, glittering FASHUN and excessive moments of HIGH DRAMA.
Who are the Stars?
Here are just some of people you’ll get to meet on Bling Empire:
He’s the son of a Singaporean billionaire who is all about that FASHUN. He started his own luxury brand at 17 and was a millionaire by the time he was 20. Also, it looks like he’s smuggling a bag of peanuts in each cheek. This is on purpose, apparently.
Christine Alexandra Chu
She’s been married to a plastic surgeon for over 14 years (which explains a few things) and recently gave birth to the adorable “Baby G”. You may also recognise Christine from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, although she’s 63% “real” at most!
One of the few members of the cast who isn’t crazy rich, he makes up for that lack of dosh by being absurdly good looking and taking off his shirt a lot. Despite his (literal) male model looks, Kevin has zero game and watching him strike out with jaw-dropping regularity is hilarious and confusing.
Kelly Mi Li
Kelly’s a successful TV producer and in fact a producer on Bling Empire! Probably no mystery how she got cast then. Kelly is also saddled with the worst taste in men and has a boyfriend, Andrew, who is a ball of toxicity wrapped in a pile of red flags. Into the bin, Andrew. Get. Right. Into. The. Bin.
The oldest cast member by far, Anna is allegedly sixty-years-young, has had more work done than the Sydney Harbour Bridge and is frequently hilarious and fabulous. Anna is not afraid of anyone and starts pointless (but really funny) battles at the drop of a (very expensive, designer) hat.
Is it a good show?
Uh, well, that’s kind of a hard question to answer…
Seriously, though, is it?
Okay. Put it this way. Is a fat juicy burger, dripping with cheese, grease and extra crispy bacon “good”? No, of course not. But sometimes it’s exactly what you need, right? After a horribly long week or when you’ve woken up with an epic hangover.
Bling Empire is that greasy burger. You probably shouldn’t experience it every single day of your life, but as an occasional treat, it’s fine.
Watch it with friends and wine. Or alone but texting your friends, with wine.
If you really have no other option, you can watch it alone, but asking the cat “what’s wrong with her face?” or “why is he so bad at picking up?” is far less satisfying than a fellow human.
Please note: the wine is a must.
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