Blended families can be tricky to navigate, especially when it involves small children and weddings.
Most would argue however, that wherever possible children should be kept far away from all the drama.
But for one mum, that became impossible when her brother-in-law decided to invite only one of her two daughters to his wedding, because the older girl ‘wasn’t really family’.
The messy situation was shared to Mumsnet, where the mum in question explained that she had two daughters, the eldest who was not her husband’s biological daughter, and the youngest who was.
The distraught mum explained that her eldest daughter is often left out of his family’s celebrations and gift giving, while their shared youngest daughter is a clear ‘favourite’.
“While my in-laws always buy birthday presents for their actual granddaughter there is nothing for my eldest,” she explained.
“They are clearly not bad people but clearly don’t see her as family.”
The kicker came when her brother-in-law announced his wedding plans.
“They are now getting married and DD2 (youngest girl) is a flower girl but DD1 (eldest girl) is not invited as it is a child-free wedding except for the bridal party,” she explained.
Not only did she miss out on the flower girl role her little sister got, but she didn’t even get a gig at all, meaning she would have had to sit out an event her whole immediate family would be attending.
The majority of commentators were sympathetic to the mum’s plight, branding the decision ‘insensitive’ and ‘cruel’.
“They exclude her. That's a problem. Not difficult to gather why this is cruel and divisive,” one horrified person wrote.
“What a sad situation,” another said.
“I feel sorry for your daughter,” another wrote. “Aside from the wedding, I think your husband needs to remind people that this girl is his family and they are hurting him by excluding her.”
A handful of people argued that weddings were tricky and the mum was overreacting.
“I would try and not get offended over wedding decisions,” one wrote.
“I don’t think (your brother-in-law) has done anything wrong, he wants his niece as flower girl and your eldest isn’t his niece,” was another’s summary of the situation.
“Let it go,” another argued.
Weddings are notorious for causing upset and division, recently a wedding guest was banned from wearing a certain dress to a wedding, and another bride tried to overcharge her bridesmaids to cover the cost of her luxury bridal gown.
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