Eddie Howe was left with mixed emotions after seeing his Newcastle side lose out to a remarkable Liverpool fightback on Sunday.
Substitute Darwin Nunez's dramatic late double secured the 2-1 win for Jurgen Klopp's ten men after the Magpies missed a number of chances to finish of the game.
"I'd want them to be hurting after that because we pride ourselves on trying to win first and foremost and if we can't, then we do everything we can to draw the game," he said.
"That's certainly a game we shouldn't have lost.
"My role in this now is to calm everything down and try to see perspective. Results will always sway opinions, but from the first two games we've had, we've been very close to more points, we've been very competitive and there have been some really good signs.
"But we probably haven't had the points that we deserve."
Liverpool played for more than an hour a man light after captain Virgil Van Dijk was dismissed for denying Alexander Isak a clear goalscoring opportunity.
When asked if he could learn more from a narrow defeat in this manner than he would have from a 1-0 victory, Howe added: "It depends how you view it.
"If we don't take collective responsibility and don't analyse the game properly, then no. But I think if you do those things and always take ownership of what's happened - and that includes me along with the players - then I think you can come out of it stronger, and that's what we'll endeavour to do.
"I'm proud of the players in many ways for what they've delivered today, but we are kicking ourselves for sure that we didn't get something out of the game."