Valerie Bertinelli Reflects on Her Relationships with 'Complicated Men' on Anniversary of Father's Death

Valerie Bertinelli is paying tribute to her late father while reflecting on her relationship with “complicated men.”

Bertinelli, 64, shared an Instagram poston Saturday, Dec. 7, that featured a carousel of photos of herself with her dad, Andrew Bertinelli, who died in 2016 at the age of 82.

“It’s been eight years since my father passed,” the former Food Network star shared in the caption of her post. She then went on to share some thoughts on how her perception of her father changed when she began putting him in the context of his own parents and childhood, noting that he "never had a model of what a father could or should be.

“His father, Nazzareno Bertinelli, left a wife and son in Italy, moved to America, worked in the coal mines and married my grandmother Angelina," she shared. "I still don’t know whether Nonnie knew or not. I know my father eventually knew because we found a couple of letters from his half brother after my father‘s death. He never spoke to us about it.”

Related: Valerie Bertinelli Says ‘It’s Sad’ Food Network Is ‘Not About Cooking and Learning Any Longer’

She recalled that her grandfather could “scare the hell out of me” while also showing kindness in other moments.

“Men have mystified me ever since,” she admitted. “I witnessed that they could be kind and yet scary, never knowing which I was going to get.”

The Hot in Cleveland actress then shared that her relationship with her father wasn’t easy — and that it has had a lifelong impact on her romantic relationships.

“My father had crazy high expectations. He was a stern and aggressive father to his sons and a loving but judgmental father to me … I don’t even know how to explain how he treated my mother. I am still trying to undo the tangled yarn of being modeled what love is between two people.”

“I loved my father,” she wrote. “I still do. I just see him with clearer eyes now. And not without some guilt for judging him and his behavior. I have compassion for him. He was only able to work with the knowledge and experience that he had. He was a complicated man.”

“I still fall for complicated men,” she concluded.

Bertinelli finalized her divorce from ex-husband Tom Vitale on Nov. 22, 2022. She posted about the split on social media in November 2024, celebrating what she called “two years of freedom.”

“Two years of walking through self doubt and doing my best to get to the other side,” she continued. “Two years of knowing that I didn’t deserve to tolerate the intolerable. Two years of working through shame and self loathing. (Still working on that part🥴long tail that😅) Two years of working to find my true self.”

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Bertinelli dated writer Mike Goodnough from March until their relationship ended in November, according to a source. She's since shared several vulnerable messages to fans about her journey with mental health.

Related: Valerie Bertinelli Claps Back at Critics Who 'Sit in Judgment' of Her Figure: 'For the First Time... I Love My Body As It Is'

"So I don’t know if you can tell from this video (and my heart is still beating a little rapidly as I write this) I had a really bad anxiety attack today," she wrote in the caption of a Nov. 17 Instagram video, which showed shaking hand. "I haven’t had one like this in a very, very long time. A few hours ago, I was weeping uncontrollably, and my heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest. I couldn’t stop shaking.”

“Anyone else experience an extreme anxiety attack, and then the after effects still take a bit to calm?” she asked fans in the post.

“Anyway…” she added, “This little bit of vulnerability is brought to you by someone who wants you to know you’re not alone. Love you 🤍."

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