For most, Victorian England and royal sex chair are not words you would expect to hear threaded together in a sentence.
With its strict social morality and tight-laced approach to anything, and everything remotely fun, the era doesn’t exactly come with a reputation that stretches beyond parlours, sponge cakes and crippling social inequality.
A new series called the Private Lives of the Monarchs, however, has given us a unique glimpse behind the scenes of the Victorian monarchy and may I suggest you pre-emptively clutch at your pearls because this is some wild stuff.
The series from The Smithsonian Channel delves into the life of King Edward VII, when he was an over-sexed, over-fed, over-indulged Prince and the furniture that made his wild ways possible.
As it turns out, it wasn’t all chastity belts and fear of eternal damnation among Victorian England’s elite, at least not if you were the heir to the throne.
The then-future heir to the throne has been revealed to have had a very naughty penchant for two things in life; food, and ladies.
Of course overindulgence in the former tends to underperform with the latter, and so Bertie as he was known, found himself confronted with a little problem, or a big one as the case was.
Now for most members of this extremely boring society they would be left to simply ‘take a turn around the room’ and hope to very, very, slowly shed a couple of pounds.
For a Prince in this society however, you could do pretty much literally whatever the hell you wanted, and so Bertie built a sex chair.
Not only is this a wonderful working title for an instructional adult story book, but we also now get to sit back and observe said chair in all its mind-boggling glory.
Emphasis on mind-boggling, because nobody, neither historian nor sex experts seem to be able to work out how the hell this thing works.
Complete with golden feet stirrups, plush upholstery and helpful poles to grip, the top half on the contraption is pretty straight forward.
As host Tracey Borman points out however, the bottom half is a little harder to wrap you head - or any body part for that matter - around.
“What really perturbed me about the chair is that there was room on it for two ladies, one on top and one underneath — but exactly how he got to the one underneath we never managed to work out between the whole crew,” she admitted.
No surprises there, the question is also baffling online commentators.
Back in 2017 the question was first posed by historical page Whores of Yore to Twitter where artistic interpretations were invited with hysterical results.
And these are the tamer guesses available.
We may be in the 21st century with access to the entire world of online porn, yet nobody seems to be able to work out the quirks of a 5’ 8’ Prince from one of history’s most rigid societies.
Lord only knows what Bertie was getting up to behind Victoria’s back, but one thing we know for sure is it was nothing good.
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