Suzanne Somers’ Family Lays Headstone Featuring '80s Portrait with Husband Alan Hamel at Her Grave: See Exclusive Photo

Hamel shares how the actress’ family honored Somers one year after her death

<p>Cindy Ord/Getty</p> Suzanne Somers and Alan Hamel in New York City in November 2017.

Cindy Ord/Getty

Suzanne Somers and Alan Hamel in New York City in November 2017.

One year after her death, Suzanne Somers is being remembered by those who knew her best and loved her most.

On Tuesday, Oct. 15, her husband Alan Hamel, son Bruce Somers Jr. and six grandchildren attended a ceremony at Desert Memorial Park in Cathedral City, California, where Suzanne’s headstone was laid at her grave. The headstone, labeled “Hamel-Somers,” features an image of Hamel and Somers from 1980 and the words “We are one.”

Somers, who died on October 15, 2023 at the age of 76 from an aggressive form of breast cancer — one day before her 77th birthday — was also honored afterwards with a family lunch at Hamel and Somers’ Palm Springs home. While the headstone ceremony was decidedly somber, according to Hamel, the luncheon was more “upbeat" and included a toast to the actress.

Related: Read the Love Letter Suzanne Somers' Husband Alan Hamel Wrote to Her the Day Before Her Death

<p>Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers </p> Suzanne Somers' headstone in Desert Memorial Park in Cathedral City, California.

Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers

Suzanne Somers' headstone in Desert Memorial Park in Cathedral City, California.

“People were telling funny stories about their interactions with Suzanne, or ‘Zanny,’ as the grandchildren called her,” Hamel, 88, tells PEOPLE. “They also talked about the advice Suzanne had given to not only our children but our grandchildren. She talked to them about their presents and what they wanted their future to be.”

“She said the most important thing about growing up and figuring out what you're going to do with your life is to follow your passion,” he continues. “Don't listen to your intellect, because your intellect will usually lie to you. Only listen to your guts. Listen to your instincts, and you won't go wrong.”

Hamel certainly didn’t go wrong in 1969 when he approached Somers, who was working then as a prize model on The Anniversary Game, the game show he was hosting. After dating for several years and purchasing a private retreat in Palm Springs in 1977, the couple wed that same year and remained inseparable until Somers' death.

Related: Suzanne Somers Celebrates 44 Years of Marriage with Husband Alan Hamel: 'I Love Being Your Wife'

<p>Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers </p> Violet Somers, Camelia Somers, Suzanne Somers, Bruce Somers Jr., Caroline Somers and Alan Hamel.

Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers

Violet Somers, Camelia Somers, Suzanne Somers, Bruce Somers Jr., Caroline Somers and Alan Hamel.

“We were not apart for even one hour during the last 42 years we were together,” he admits. “We didn't plan that — it just evolved. Suzanne said to me one day, ‘When you're in the next room, I miss you’; I said, ‘I feel the same way.’ My son said, ‘You guys have the perfect co-dependent relationship, but it seems to be working.’"

In the first months after her death, Hamel leaned heavily on his family for support and learned to embrace the waves of sadness that enveloped him at times.

“I would be sitting with my family in the kitchen — we'd all be laughing and everything is upbeat — and then I had to leave, go to my bedroom and have a little cry,” he says, adding, "It doesn't happen very often [now]. It happened today at the cemetery where I was speaking to the family. I lost it three times where I had to just stop and just get very teary, very emotional.”

Related: Suzanne Somers Shares Cuddly Now-and-Then Photo with Husband Alan Hamel: 'Still Smiling 55 Years Later'

<p>Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers </p> Alan Hamel, Violet Somers, Suzanne Somers, Camelia Somers, Caroline Somers, and Bruce Somers Jr.

Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers

Alan Hamel, Violet Somers, Suzanne Somers, Camelia Somers, Caroline Somers, and Bruce Somers Jr.

“But the further away I get, and the more I am living the life I'm living, the memories are not fuzzy, but they go from her passing to some of the great memories that we've had and our relationship, being together,” he continues, adding that he’s started to appreciate his “solitude.” “I think that's nature's way of healing, really.”

Hamel is still often reminded of Somers through thousands of fans’ emails that “load up” his inbox. (He tried answering them at first but gave up.) He also spends a significant chunk of time working on Somers’ ongoing online business, which sells more than 1,000 items consisting of skincare, cosmetics, nutritional supplements, and of course, the ThighMaster.

Related: Suzanne Somers' Widower Recalls Kissing and 'Talking to Her' in Her Final Days: 'She Was Still with Us' (Exclusive)

<p>Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers </p> Bruce Somers Jr., Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers.

Courtesy Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers

Bruce Somers Jr., Alan Hamel and Suzanne Somers.

Hamel says Somers is still ever-present. Several months ago, the sound system at home turned itself on and played a tune, while the fireplace, untouched, roared to life. More recently, Hamel glimpsed a hummingbird that flew into the couple’s home and “hovered” atop a photo that featured Hamel and Somers walking outside in nature.

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“The hummingbird hovered between our two faces, and then pushed herself on top of the photograph long enough for me to run to the other end of the house, get my iPhone, come back, and take a picture,” he recalls.

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