Ricki Lake Says She's Tried Ayahuasca, Despite Formerly Being Scared of Drugs: 'I Was Such a Nancy Reagan Disciple'

The former talk show host opened up about her ex-husband's death and how he changed her in many ways — including inspiring her to try ayahuasca

Ricki Lake is opening up about her ex-husband Christian Evans — and how he changed her in many ways before his death in 2017.

"He was super magical, and he was madly in love with me and I with him," Lake, 56, told author and death doula Alua Arthur at the End Well’s annual symposium on Nov. 22, End Well 2024: Common Ground.

"We met during a medical journey," she continued. "Ayahuasca, to be fully transparent." Lake said that prior to meeting Evans, she was adamantly opposed to mind-bending substances.

"I was such a Nancy Reagan disciple when I did my talk show, I was like, 'Just say no!' to everything, like, ew, there was judgment, fear. I was so closed-minded. And Christian, he cracked me open. Like, me, doing ayahuasca in northern California? What? Are you kidding?"

Related: Ricki Lake Shares Tribute to Late Ex-Husband Christian Evans on 5th Anniversary of His Death

Lake, who was the featured speaker at the end-of-life symposium, went on to talk about how Evans' life and death changed her in other ways — especially opening her up to the world of bipolar disorders. Evans committed suicide at age 45 amid his battle with bipolar disorder.

"I didn’t understand what bipolar disorder meant at first," Lake said. "I know he suffered from depression and had a lot of pain. We were together four years before he had his first psychotic break. It was almost more shocking seeing him turn into another person than his ultimate death," she says.

She added that she did her best to help him.

"I went to great lengths to save him; I did everything I could in my power to bring him to the doctor to get him help, and it was really challenging. He had his second psychotic break two years after the first and ultimately took his life in Feb of 2017."

Though the couple had divorced in 2015, they remained close and Lake says that after his death, she suffered from the idea that she had failed him at first.

"I’m a manifester I get s-- done," she said. "And when it came to fixing him, I couldn’t fix him, I couldn’t save him."

Lake, who shares two children Milo, 27, and Owen, 23, with her first husband Rob Sussman, has since remarried Ross Burningham, and she says she talks to him about Evans all the time.

"I talk about him a lot, I think about him a lot. He’s not holding me back," she said.

Related: Ricki Lake Says Her Grief Over Ex-Husband's Death Was So Intense, 'I Couldn't Get Out of Bed'

"What I can say is through loving and losing him, I’m the best version of myself because of the way he loved me. And yes, he left me, but I believe he spared me and that he didn’t leave me, that he’s still right here."

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She added, "I feel like I’ve learned so many lessons, so much about I love, and how we’re still connected and that they’re not gone, but he had to leave for me to have this beautiful, abundant life that I appreciate every day. I wake up in gratitude and am so appreciative of this life I had with him and now without him."

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.