We need to pick our battles

My six-year-old loves to cuddle her blankie. She's way too old to be carrying it around and an 'only for bedtime' rule is in place, though she doesn't agree. She smuggles it out of her bedroom and gets terribly upset when I take it away. And there are so many issues that seem more important that I frequently give in for the sake of peace. Some arguments, you see, are just not worth fighting.

In a perfect world...
Parenting is a constant case of picking one's battles. We all have parenting ideals we aspire to. In my ideal world, my kids eat only wholesome food, watch improving TV for half an hour a day and play outside happily for entire afternoons. They read books each night, clean up after themselves, and say "please" and "thank you" with every request. Oh, and they dress in charming outfits, with nice shoes and clean socks. But sadly, my kids don't play along with my ideals. As the saying goes, they make it hard for me to be the parent I want to be. They are fantastic and wonderful, but - strangely enough - cleaning up after themselves and eating their greens is not high on their list of priorities. They want to watch TV, play on my computer and drink chocolate milk three times a day.

What really matters most
Hauling my kids into line takes time, energy and a lot of noise from both sides. And I have three offspring to deal with, work to do, a household to run and a semblance of sanity to maintain. I can't fight every battle I wish to win. Sometimes, I have to give in. Now, there are some standards of behaviour on which I refuse to compromise. My kids must brush their teeth every night, at least try some of their vegetables, put their clothes in the laundry hamper and sit nicely at the dinner table. I will enforce those rules with my very last breath (which sadly, feels all too imminent on some of those long nights around the uneaten broccoli). But there are other issues that I have to let slide. My big kids play on the computer far more than I would like.

I can argue and scold and send them outside, but when I need to meet a last-minute deadline, or cook dinner, or put the little one to bed, sometimes it's easier just to say, "Oh, fine." And my youngest sometimes eats far too much junk, because I often just don't have the energy to argue. What's more, she'll frequently emerge dressed in gumboots and a dress, and I'll allow her to go out looking like a crazed farmyard debutante. I haven't lost sight of my sartorial ideals, but I've realised the kid doesn't share my dream. It's all okay, however, because ultimately, parenting is about compromise. Pick your battles and fight the ones you really need to win. A blankie doesn't matter. Green gumboots don't matter. But clean teeth, a bite of vegies and clothes in the hamper are ideal enough for me.