Do you ever smack your toddler

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C
1 day ago

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Posted Thu 10 Mar 2011 11:49
The wooden spoon was used as a threat by my parents and actually carried out sometimes when I was little, but I have never smacked my own children.

Do you ever smack your toddler when they misbehave or is this taboo these days?
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Fee
30 Mar 2010

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Posted Thu 10 Mar 2011 19:37
Yep I smack when needed - both kids.  Not happy about it all the time but it's happened.  Before I had kids I said I would never smack.  But that didn't last!
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Tanya
31 Mar 2010

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Posted Thu 10 Mar 2011 20:20
Nope.  I was smacked a lot as a kid and belted up quite badly when my dad totally lost his temper (I was the last straw).  It made me angry, resentful and my behaviour was even worse.  I ran away, was rude and horrible - stuff like that.  It might work on some kids, but it certainly didn't work on me and I don't think it's a good lesson to teach your children.  The only person I listened to was my grandma who sat me down and explained why my behaviour was wrong.

DD is almost 3 and we use removal of something relative to the thing she's done wrong.  For example, she had a little hissy fit and threw her toy train, so the toy train was put away for a week.  She understands why and she's never done the same thing twice, so it's working so far.  She's lost textas for drawing on the couch and things like that.  When you're an adult and you do something wrong (eg crime), you don't get belted, you have your liberty or money taken away from you, so we're doing the same thing really! 

She doesn't have many tanties and they are usually when she's really tired, so we just put her in her room with a book and she mostly calms down and sometimes has a nap.  She's never had an uncontrolled screaming one - the closest she comes is struggling to avoid getting dressed and as soon as her clothes are on she's all smiles again.
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Polly-lou
31 Mar 2010

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Posted Sat 12 Mar 2011 21:07

My opinion is much the same as Tanya's. We don't smack our children and have no intention of ever doing so.

I personally do not understand why smacking is considered acceptable when if the same behaviour occurs in a relationship its called domestic violence. Its all the same thing. A husband could be heard to say they were teaching their wife a lesson and we would all stand up and say no absolutely not is this acceptable.

I do not believe that anything can be learnt from smacking - there is no lesson other than its ok to hit out when you are angry.

I already struggle with my oldest being rough and tumble. I think he would be much worse if he had been smacked. Especially when we have been trying to hard to teach him that it is not ok to hit and push other kids.

In saying that - this is my absolutely personal opinion and I do not judge anyone for the choices that they make where discipline is concerned. I know I probably come across as a little preachy preachy - I would never voice these opinions in real life with a group of mothers who I know smacked, unless of course they asked what i thought.  
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Lynn
31 Mar 2010

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Posted Mon 14 Mar 2011 00:46
I have smacked but it really doesn't work for C1. She just laughs. Timeout works better in her case. I don't feel bad about it as it was when she was out of control and I was desperate (for instance, she was a runner and ran out on the street which scared me half to death).

I believe there is a firm line though where smacking becomes abuse - when you actually hurt the child, rather than shock them.
10
nes...

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Posted Mon 14 Mar 2011 01:48

I am a mother that smacks my toddler, not hard, just a tap on the hand, but only when she's really naughty... I usually give three warnings then a smack... I don't consider smacking a form of abuse, and like lynn, I believe there is a firm line between the two... my mother smacked me ALOT and I am just fine... I don't judge how others discipline children, that is not my right, and I don't believe anyone has the right to judge me and how I choose to discipline my daughter.. she is a bright, happy, smiley little girl and on the rare occasions she does receive a smack she tends to hold her hand, drop her bottom lip and sulk for about 5mins and then she's fine...  
31
Cherie
29 Oct 2009

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Posted Mon 14 Mar 2011 17:20
I have Never had to "hit","smack", or "whip", either of my now grown sons.  If you don't have enough intelligence to realize violence begats violence or don't have the patience to endure nights of crying with nightmares, or colic, or when they are ill, You Shouldn't have any!  :P  If you want to take it out on someone, pick on someone your Own Size, that can defend themselves!!
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Renee
17 Dec 2008

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Posted Mon 14 Mar 2011 19:49
I had three children under 3, and alternatives such as naughty chairs become impossible to manage. I found smacking worked very well with my eldest and youngest and rarely needed to do it. Counting to 5 works perfectly well with my youngest 99% of the time - (once he learned that after 5 hed get a smack) and they are often complimented on their good behaviour.

Of course once the kids are old enough to understand an explanation and consequences smacking is not necessary, and it doesnt help when tiredness or tantrums are involved either but I really dont see why the issue causes such a drama - parents are now left in a predicament in public where if they smack their child people complain, and if they dont they complain also....
20
Peter
21 Dec 2008

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Posted Mon 14 Mar 2011 20:09
I had 4 children - 2 were smacked occasionally because they were naughty but the other 2 never had a smack - yes never. They were excellent children. Funny how that happened. Who knows. I guess 2 out of 4 ain't bad. They are all adults now and none give us any bother. Sue
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