Baby talk: understanding and communicating with your baby

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There is much more to your communication with bub than just cuddles and cooing!

Raising babies is one of the most rewarding jobs on this planet, but how many times have you caught yourself saying to your crying or enthusiastically gurgling bubba, “If I only knew what you’re trying to tell me!”?

Well maybe you can tap into your little one’s mind. There are some schools of thought that claim it’s possible for you and your baby to communicate on different levels. So what are these methods, and do they really work? Let’s take a look.

Listening:

Dunstan Baby Language (DBL) was devised by Australian Priscilla Dunstan, a child violinist who later specialised in opera singing. With her talent for musical memory, Priscilla discovered she could recognise distinct sounds with ease and, putting this to use as a parent, believed she’d found a way to unlock the secret language of babies. DBL is based around the idea that newborns communicate using five universal sounds which are quickly identifiable once known, allowing parents to understand what their little ones are trying to say.

The backbone of the DBL system is that there are messages encoded in every infant’s cry, with a direct correlation between those five universal sounds bubs make and five biological needs. Each sound is assigned a phonetic descriptor:

• “Neh” means hungry

• “Owh” means tired

• “Eh” means need to burp

• “Eairh” means lower wind pain

• “Heh” means physical discomfort.

These sounds are supposedly based on reflex responses. For example, when a baby is hungry, the sucking reflex begins. When this action is combined with a sound it creates the ‘word’ for hunger, “neh”. It’s a matter of listening in and responding appropriately to the need identified. The theory also suggests that an infant’s communication begins in the pre-cry stage, so you may be able to identify your littlie’s need before the wailing actually ensues.

According to Stevie Collaras, global director of DBL, many mums who use the technique believe their bubs settle faster and say they experience more uninterrupted sleep of their own, while dads report experiencing less stress and improved marital relationships.

If you find DBL works for you, then go with it! But infant and child nurse Jo Whelan, known as the Baby Whisperer, remains sceptical. “Despite much linguistic research into child phonology, babies’ pre-linguistic sounds, such as cries, growls and squeals, are not universal and simply do not conform to any structure,” she says.

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Using baby sign language:

As a general rule, we all teach our babies some form of sign language – simple things such as waving goodbye, clapping to express delight or head-shaking to say “no”. Baby sign language is essentially an extension of this, allowing infants to learn basic signs for common activities and objects. It’s a simple method based on the fact that cognitive skills and hand-eye coordination develop sooner than speech, making gesturing a natural way for babies to try to get their messages across. It’s thought that bubs have both the physical and mental ability to learn basic sign language from six months of age.

Choosing four or five main signs to start with that represent words central to your baby’s world is the best way to introduce baby signing. “Keep it simple, always speak as you sign, sign consistently and in context, be patient, encourage and congratulate your baby, and above all, keep it fun,” advises Kristie Maytom, developer of the free Baby Sign and Learn app and author of Hooray! For Baby Sign Language ($24.95 from www.babysignandlearn.com.au). These are Kristie’s top six baby signs:

• “Milk.” At chest level, open and close your fist twice, as if milking a cow.

• “More.” Start with a clawed hand touching your chest and then move your hand forward, away from you.

• “Eat.” Start with your fingertips touching your thumb and bring your hand towards your mouth twice.

• “Finished.” With a closed fist and thumb up, slightly rock your hand from left to right a couple of times.

• “Mummy.” Touch the side of your head twice with a flattened hand.

• “Daddy.” Extend the index and middle fingers on both of your hands and tap one set onto the back of the other set.

Baby sign language advocates say using this method of communication can help reduce frustration for parents and children, build confidence, promote bonding and help develop fine motor skills. While there are baby sign language courses, books and other products out there, there’s also no need to spend any money unless you want to – you can make up your own signs or you can dip into Australia’s official sign language for the deaf community using the Auslan Signbank.

“Just remember, your baby is communicating with you all the time through sounds, facial expressions and actions whether or not you sign with her,” Jo advises. “It’s the response to these kinds of signals that improves language and social and emotional development.”

Baby body language:

Both grown-ups and babies communicate non-verbally through conscious and unconscious body postures and movements, facial expressions and eye activity. When you know what to look for, what your bub’s doing with her body and face can give you lots of clues about how she feels and what she needs.

You can begin learning to interpret your baby’s body language from the first moment you lay your eyes on her. “Babies have an innate sense of what to teach their parents,” says childhood expert Anne Thistleton, known as The Baby Calmer.

“By watching your baby day in and day out, you will begin to see how her body language communicates.” Her repertoire of signals includes everything from her body colour and behaviour, to hand gestures and facial expressions. Anne says that these are some of the most common messages and signals bubs put out…

• “I need to sleep.” Bub will usually cover her eyes with her hands or rub her eyes when she’s tired.

• “I’m in pain or uncomfortable.” Bub will do one or more of the following to signal this: arch her back, flex her fingers or toes, tightly clench her fists, point her feet downwards, curl her toes or pull her knees up to her tummy (this can also suggest wind or constipation).

• “I want to play and learn.” Babies often show they’re ready for play when they clasp their hands in front of their chest. If the play is interesting, bub will slightly raise or lower her eyebrows, open her mouth a little, follow with her eyes what has caught her attention and turn her head and/or body towards the object of interest.

• “I need a break or require comfort.” When your baby needs a break she’ll typically avert her eyes or turn her head completely to one side. When she tugs on her ears, it’s a likely indicator that she needs comforting.

  Photo: Getty Images

  Over time you’ll come to learn your bubba’s own unique cues, so be patient and trust those mummy instincts! You might also find this helps in bonding with and understanding your little miracle. “Reading your baby’s body language and emotional nuances can awaken a new depth of appreciation of the innate wisdom that your baby carries,” Anne says, and Jo agrees. “Babies’ body language tells us so much about how they are feeling and what their needs are, and as parents we need to actively listen to what they are trying to communicate.”

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