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When everyone's an expert: unlocking the parenting myths

Have you noticed when you become a mum, suddenly everyone around you is an expert on how you should care for and bring up your little one?

For the most part, the advice we get is well-meaning. It’s given with love and with the aim of helping, not hindering – particularly when it’s coming from those closest to us.

But sometimes it can still be hard to handle, can’t it? Besides, doesn’t the old saying go ‘mum knows best’? Here we take a look at some advice that was given to new parents and ask the experts just how much we can really take from it.

"Eating spicy food makes my milk taste bad and upsets babies"

As breastmilk is influenced by nutrients in the mother’s bloodstream, it is true that babies can experience subtle flavour variations in response to their mother’s diet.

“For babies who aren’t used to it, a meal with spices may create a slightly different tasting breastfeed, but it is unlikely to cause any adverse effects,” explains Lois Wattis, a lactation consultant and midwife. She says the most important components of breastmilk – lactose and protein – are not affected by a mother’s diet.

“Signs of a baby’s sensitivity to something in breastmilk are stomach or bowel upsets, irritability and crying, frequent vomiting, poor sleep and sudden waking with obvious discomfort, or mucousy stools,” explains Lois.

Foods eaten by mum which may cause bub to become ’gassy’ are cruciferous vegies, such as cabbage and peas. Lois says that the most common cause of food sensitivity and/or allergy is cows’ milk protein, which can pass through the mother’s breastmilk to her baby. By eliminating this from her diet for a short period, a mother can observe her baby’s symptoms and see if this is the culprit for the upset.


"Honey on a dummy will settle a baby"


According to Karen Faulkner, a child health nurse and CEO of Nurture Parenting, using honey on a dummy is a no-no for a couple of reasons.

“Honey can potentially carry the bacteria Clostridium botulinum, which can cause botulism,” she says. “Even pasteurised honey can carry bacteria, so it’s only safe to give honey to a child after 12 months of age.”

In addition to this, Karen says that giving honey to a child can encourage and promote a sweet tooth. “Once we expose the taste buds to sweet things like honey, it is often difficult to then give your baby or child savoury foods like vegetables,” she explains.

Putting honey on a dummy can also lead to the development of tooth decay. “The first teeth have very
little enamel on them and honey on a dummy would rot the baby teeth. Once there is decay on the first teeth, the bacteria present in the mouth can lead to decay in the adult teeth.”

"Smart babies shouldn't be in cots longer than necessary"

Regardless of how smart they are, babies are safer in cots, as per SIDS guidelines. They should only be transferred to a low-height toddler bed when they are able to jump or climb out of their cot.


“The usual age for transferring to a toddler bed is 18 months to two years old,” says Karen.

“Danger and safety is an issue that can’t be taught and imprinted until three years old,” she explains.

“Children can’t problem solve to pull the doona over themselves, and once things fall on the floor or they get cold, they wake up.”

For these reasons alone, Karen says to keep children in a cot as long as possible. She also highlights that children sleep better in a cot as they feel more secure.

The only exception she would make would be if a child is able to get out of his cot. “In this instance, I would put him to sleep on a mattress on the bedroom floor, which would be much safer than a low bed for that age group.”


"A busy lifestyle will affect the goodness of your milk"

Lois says the volume and appearance of breastmilk naturally varies from birth, but the ‘goodness’ or quality of it does not. “As a baby grows, the mother’s body automatically adjusts the composition of her breastmilk to match her baby’s changing needs, providing a slightly different ‘brew’ as the baby matures,” she explains.

Babies signal their mama’s bodies to adapt periodically, by feeding more during growth spurts.

“Breastmilk research analysis confirms a mother’s milk is different at one day, one week, one month, two months and progressively onwards as she and her baby simultaneously adapt to baby’s growth and development.”

However, whilst the ‘goodness’ of a mother’s milk isn’t affected by her daily activities, Lois says that the volume of it can be if a cue is given to slow the process. “If the breasts are not drained for a period of time – which is believed to be about five hours – a protein called Feedback Inhibitor of Lactation (FIL) is produced which signals the breast to make less milk.”

Lois suggests that the most effective way to maintain breastmilk supply is to breastfeed a baby frequently in response to his hunger cues. If the baby is not nearby to take regular feeds, ideally the mother should express or pump her breasts instead, for comfort and health.

“Resuming breastfeeding in response to bub’s demands after the interrupted period will enhance mother and baby getting back in sync as soon as possible,” says Lois.


"Babies sleep through the night if they're put on solids at three months"


Karen says that sleep deprivation drives mums of young bubs to distraction, and they often want a quick fix.

“A full baby will sleep better than a hungry one, especially at night,” she admits, “However, it’s important to address any breast or formula feeding issues first, before resorting to solids.”

Karen explains, “Putting babies onto solids before three months can lead to constipation and gut issues. The baby’s gut is too immature, and doesn’t have the enzymes to digest food properly.”

Feeding babies solids too early can cause immune system issues, too, as the body isn’t ready for possible allergens. It can also lead to childhood obesity and kidney problems due to lack of fluids.

“Solids are not recommended until around four to six months of age, in line with Australian guidelines,” says Karen.

“Sleeping through is something most babies do after six months of age. In the interim, they need milk feeds in the night for growth and development,” she concludes.

"Putting a baby to bed later at night will mean he'll sleep in later in the morning"

According to Karen, there is no truth to this. In fact, the opposite is true.

“Sleep promotes sleep, and the more sleep babies get and the better they are at self-settling, the more sleep they need,” she explains.

Karen says that babies of four to 12 months old need between 12 to 15 hours of sleep in 24 hours. And the key to getting your bub to sleep successfully is responding to his individual tired signs.

“Babies have different bedtime needs just as we do, but I find that parents putting their baby to bed later will often have a more disturbed night,” she says.

“Cortisol, the stress hormone, rises as babies get more tired and struggle to settle. This often leads to lots of night waking and broken sleep, and this then affects feeding. It becomes a vicious circle.”

To encourage better and longer sleep and to promote melatonin (the hormone which helps control your body clock), Karen recommends putting your baby down in a cot in a cool, darkened room. She also recommends resettling any early waking before 6am. “It may take two to three weeks to kick in, but it is so important.”