Yahoo Lifestyle "She Made It About Three Minutes Into Her First Shift.": These Stories About Coworkers Getting Fired Almost Immediately Will Have You Aghast
Redditor u/Balansky recently asked the people of Reddit, "What’s the fastest you’ve ever seen a new coworker get fired?" The responses are pretty wild — and they also double as things to avoid doing in a new job, too. Read on:
1."I was a night manager at a hotel. There were usually five of us at night — one cleaner, one waiter, two security guards, and myself. One night, one of the security guys tells me to check on the waiter because he seemed to be drunk. When I confronted him, his defense was basically, 'But I drank at home before I came to work. That's my personal time. Are you telling me I can't have a drink to relax before I come to work?'"
—u/Unikatze
2."He got caught using the trainer's ID badge to access a printer to make copies of a prescription pad he stole from a doctor. He wanted to ‘hook people up’ at his new office. This happened on day three of training, and everyone was already sketched out by his unhinged comments and behavior leading up to this, so it didn’t really surprise anyone."
3."I worked at a strip club. A girl came in to audition and did great. She came back the next day for her first shift and brought her boyfriend (nobody knew it was her bf) who tried to fight the first guy who put money in her thong during her first song before she even took anything off. She made it about three minutes into her first shift."
—u/dunkan799
4."It was at an isolated mine in Western Australia where you need to fly in to get to work. On his first day, he complains about his toothache. Our on-site med team doesn't do dental, so they offered to fly him back to Perth to see a dentist. He accepts and just goes radio silent — no response to calls, texts, or emails. After a couple of weeks, it's assumed that he's abandoned his employment, and he's formally terminated. A few months later, a supervisor gets an email from him apologizing and explaining that he had to do some time in prison — and asking if he can come back to work."
5."About two hours in, a new hire for our window washing company straight up ran away. 😂 He seemed eager to work, but he severely underestimated how physically demanding it is to be a window washer. That day, we were a crew of six guys, doing a fairly nice home in Beverly Hills with large windows. After about 90 minutes, my little dude asked how much longer we'd be working, I let him know it would be about five more hours. Bro said he was going to the work van to get his Gatorade, I look back over my shoulder, and he just took off in a full sprint down the street and never came back. At $20 an hour, though, I don't even blame him."
6."The new nurse didn't feel like being transferred to another area to work after two people called out. She started yelling at the nurse manager, whose regional manager was also visiting that day. The regional manager went over to the shouting nurse and said, 'Your manager asked you to please go work in building three today. Please pack up your things and go there for the day.' The new nurse said, 'Who the fuck are you?! Get out of my face!' She was fired by the regional nurse manager and escorted out by security 20 minutes later."
—u/Johnnygunnz
7."An intern on his first day decided to open the door of a room where a few of the seniors were having an important meeting. He briefly lifted his leg up, farted, and walked away laughing. He got fired on the spot."
8."One of my first jobs was at an amusement park. On the first day, we had a meet-and-greet to break the ice and get to know who we'd be working with for the season. Our team lead had walked off to grab some paperwork, so we had an opportunity for some more candid chit-chat. Pretty much immediately after she left, one of my coworkers bragged about using his brother's pee to pass the drug test. The next day, he was gone. The kicker is that none of us ratted him out — he did it to himself. It turns out he was so proud of his feat that he also bragged about it on Facebook...shortly after he had accepted a friend request from one of the park's social media accounts. Dude must have been high 24/7 to not realize how stupid of an idea that was."
9."I work in IT. At my last job, this older guy lied on his résumé and in his interview an insane amount. He ended up getting the job he applied for in the finance department. We got his gear set up at his desk, and I met him when he arrived on his first day. It was very apparent to us that he knew absolutely nothing about using computers. He couldn't open Outlook or use Excel, and he seemed completely lost in front of his computer. His new manager soon came to this realization as well, and he was let go before noon on his first day. It was the fastest turnaround I've ever seen in my whole career."
—u/MakeYouAGif
10."I started training a new waitress who got into a screaming match with a customer over how to pronounce quinoa. She lasted exactly 37 minutes. The manager just pointed to the door without saying a word."
11."We had a new doctor in the emergency department who was hired during COVID to fill some of the rotation gaps, and he seemed friendly enough. He got put on his first week of nights and didn't see a single patient, he just disappeared into the rest of the hospital. He was caught asking a first-year resident how to read a hip X-ray. He then had to have all his patients reevaluated because his work was being brought under review. It was an absolute nightmare. Hiring standards during COVID got pretty loose because we were stretched to fuck, but that sure was something. I've never seen a doctor show up and disappear that fast."
12."The chap was a bit eccentric. He wore what I could only describe as English country gent attire for work, and he smoked a pipe. He'd been sent to our office to hot-desk for whatever reason. As the week went on, he seemed to be getting more and more tense, until security came in and frog-marched him out of our office whilst the big manager bloke apologized for the disruption. We then saw him get arrested outside and bundled into a police car and driven away. It turns out he was selling handguns and weapons illegally using his work email account. According to the security guard I chatted to, they'd been on to him for a while."
—u/RaedwaldRex
13."I was working groundskeeping for a cemetery and memorial garden, and the owner hired his nephew’s company to lay PVC pipe to extend a water hookup 200 yards to a new hand pump. It was not a hard job — the pump was literally straight downhill. He did the work, then told the boss there wasn’t enough water pressure from the water company to execute the job. The owner fired his nephew but incongruously didn’t ask for his money back. We dug it up and he had somehow graded it almost 10 degrees uphill. You could eyeball it and see it was slanted."
14."Twenty-year-old kid at a gas station decided to sell himself beer overnight…at half price. Dummy."
—u/theblackyeti
15."I worked at a rental car company in the winter. On his first day, the brand-new detailer refused to clean snow off cars. He was fired within 15 minutes of showing up."
16."I worked in a bar, and we had to let a dude go on his first shift. He decided it was a good idea to drink all the leftovers from the glasses that came back to the bar before washing them."
—u/Cashewkaas
17."A guy got hired to work the seafood counter. Saw him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened. He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store, and the six pounds of crab legs he'd stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager."
18."He came to work recklessly swerving in the parking lot and almost hit three coworkers. When confronted he smirked and said, 'Fuck 'em.'”
—u/Huseynov26
19."I work for a towboat company that pushes barges. They hired a deckhand that we picked up at our dock. It was my job to train him, so we got him on the boat, got his gear squared away, and gave him a tour of the boat. After signing off on his initial paperwork, we fire up and depart to go to the fleet where the barges are kept. As we make the turn into the cut where our fleet is, the boat leans a little and water splashes up on the deck. This sends him into a panic, and he's in the galley sitting in the corner crying and screaming. We go to the back of the fleet and call the office, and they send someone over in a truck and he gets off the boat. He lasted all of about 45 minutes from the time he stepped on board 'til he got off. It turns out he was scared of water and thought it would be OK, since the boats are big and stable."
—u/iwelchi
And finally...
20."My husband got a friend of his an interview where he was working. The friend's interview went great, and he got hired. He was excited and did a donut in their big gravel parking lot, and they called him right after and told him that was unacceptable and he shouldn't bother coming in."
Got your own stories? See you in the comments!
These entries have been edited for length and clarity.
