"To This Day, I Still Have No Idea What I Was Thinking": 25 Stories About The Dumbest Ways People Have Injured Themselves
Getting hurt sucks, no matter how it happened. I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to share the dumbest ways they've injured themselves. Here are the stories that'll make you cringe in pain:
1."I tripped pushing the crosswalk button. Three months later, on my way to have my cast removed, I tripped myself with my crutches, fell down a flight of stairs, and broke the other leg."
2."My friends and I were playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo Switch. One friend who never wins finally won a race! She jumped up from the couch to do a happy dance. Well, she didn't notice how close she was to the coffee table and as she kicked her foot up behind her, she hit the table, shattering her heel. We got her checked out, and she was in a boot for a while. Always learn the dangers of a happy dance."
—Anonymous
3."I was lying on the edge of my bed when my dog came running into the room at top speed. She launched herself into the bed and crashed her skull into mine. I had a fractured eye socket and a concussion. The doctor said my injuries were comparable to a 30 mph car crash!"
4."I was at a party and wanted to teach a 12-year-old how to do the running man. I was a bit too enthusiastic in my demonstration and badly broke a bone in my foot."
5."When I was in high school, I burned my face on a clothing iron. I was rushing, and while I bent over near the ironing board, I stuck my face on the end of the iron. Needless to say, it was picture day and I have the photo documentation to cherish for eternity."
6."I washed my face with a Magic Eraser when I was 6."
7."When I was in kindergarten, I tripped on my own feet while walking to a friend's and knocked out my front teeth. It was cold so my mom told me to put my hands in my pockets. When I tripped, I couldn't get them out of my pockets."
8."I've worked at Starbucks for over 17 years and have injured myself in many ways. The best one was when I gave myself a black eye. The pumps for our mocha sauce consist of multiple parts that can be washed individually. While putting one together, my upper hand slipped and my other hand pushed the metal pump piece into my right eyebrow. It swelled and bruised and to this day, there's a spot where eyebrow hair doesn't grow."
—Jamie from Minnesota
9."43 years ago, my siblings and I were wild. One day, we decided to slide across a wooden tongue-and-groove floor with carpet mats in the VERY old house my family was living in at the time. Yep, a large splinter caught the bottom of the carpet and stabbed me right in the left rear cheek. It had to be surgically removed. To make matters worse, my delicate second grade self-esteem was crushed when I had to explain why I had to bring a pillow to sit on in class."
10."I broke and dislocated my elbow playing duck, duck, goose. It doesn't sound too bad, except I was 22 when it happened. Life tip: Don't run around a gym in socks."
—Anonymous
11."I was late for an appointment at the hospital and didn't properly lace my boots. My left lace got caught in my right boot, and I ended up going to the ER with a broken arm."
12."I burnt my nipple very badly while curling my hair. My curling iron was on the hottest setting, and OMG it did some damage. After an emergency call to my doctor's office and an after-hours prescription burn cream pickup, I was out with friends. By the end of the night, I was in so much pain and my nipple looked like the pizza crust when you pull off a pepperoni. Eight years later the skin is still a little discolored. So dumb."
—Megan from Texas
13."I stepped on the end of a rake, just like in cartoons, and ended up in the ER with a split lip and gum."
14."My dad wanted to reshingle our roof all by himself. When he was done, he got so excited he threw his hammer up in the air which fell back down, hit him on his head, and knocked him out."
—Anonymous from Alabama
15."Many years ago, I needed a sharp knife. I found a knife in the kitchen, sharpened it, and stupidly tested its sharpness by drawing it across the palm of my hand. Luckily it wasn't that sharp, but it put a slightly deeper cut across my hand. To this day, I still have no idea what I was thinking."
16."In 1979, I was at a party after leaving school. I had a few drinks and ended up upstairs with a girl I liked. Stripped down to her underwear, I went to close and lock the door only to trip over a ruck in the carpet. I hit my head on a doorstop and knocked myself unconscious. The scar above my left eye is a constant reminder of that night 45 years ago."
—Tim from the United Kingdom
17."My old workplace had a narrow staircase with only a handrail on one side. It's an old building with the kitchen on the top floor and staff room on the ground floor. One day, I made a cup of tea and went back downstairs, gripping the cup tightly so I didn't spill coming down. By the time I got down to the bottom, my hand was severely burned in two places, almost to the bone. I was asked why I didn't stop to put the cup down or drop it — I didn't want to lose my tea."
18."I was doing laundry and kept my supplies on a shelf above eye level. When I took the bleach down, a droplet splashed into my eye. It immediately started to burn from the chemicals. Fortunately, I'm a scientist, so I knew to stick my head under the sink to wash my eyes out. I still had to go to the emergency room to make sure my vision wasn't in danger. I was on eye drops for about a week, but the chemical burn luckily healed without impacting my vision."
—Anonymous from Pennsylvania
19."I was getting dressed in the bathroom. I put one sock on, leaned down to put on the other, and slipped on the tile floor due to the one-sock situation. I fell onto the edge of the bathtub and broke my tailbone. Pretty dumb, pretty painful."
20."I was super excited to host a Christmas party for friends for the first time. I found some cute festive treats on Pinterest, and one required a double boiler. I never used one, but it worked great to melt chocolate and keep it melted. I was busy making the treats when there was a loud BANG, and I couldn't see anything. The double boiler had exploded, launching the top part into my forehead. It left a huge gash down to my skull that required internal and external stitches, and the boiling water and melted chocolate hit so fast that I didn't even have time to blink. The boiling water burned my eyeballs, skin on my face, neck, and chest. Plus, the melted chocolate was all over me as well. Christmas, my birthday, and New Year's Eve were all ruined. I couldn't see well enough to drive for over three months. The ER doctor said I smelled delicious though. Talk about a Pinterest fail."
—Carolyn from Ontario
21."Not me, but my brother. This was back when the game Fruit Ninja was big. We were at the beach on a family vacation. My brother wanted to make a smoothie. He started cutting fruit normally, but then decided that the large knife would be better put to use if things were cut 'ninja style.' After about two banana slices, he hit his finger with the knife. It was a pretty significant cut. He then got nauseous and dizzy from the blood and nearly passed out as my mom was trying to help him stop the bleeding. It ended in stitches and a lot of being made fun of."
22."I was working at a donut shop when I was a teenager. One of the coffee stations was usually broken, so we never used it. One day, a customer said, 'You shouldn't leave empty coffee pots on the hot plates.' I was like, 'It's not plugged in. We don't use this one.' I then proceeded to stick my hand on the hot burner — yup, someone had it working and didn't tell the rest of us."
—Anonymous from Ohio
23."I played softball when I was younger. When I was 9 or 10, I had what I thought was the COOLEST bat bag. It was set up like a regular backpack and you could put your bat on the side, sort of where a water bottle would go in a regular backpack. One day after a double-header, I slung the bag over one shoulder and the bat whipped around and hit me in the nose. I legit broke my nose with my own bat. I had two black eyes, and my team called me Batman."
24."I was leaning over to pick something up off the floor when I sneezed. I put my back out. Welcome to getting old, kids."
25.And finally, "I was sitting on my couch doing a crossword puzzle, in pencil, as I always did. I got up and went to the kitchen. I left the puzzle and pencil on the couch. Unbeknownst to me, the pencil perfectly wedged itself in between the couch cushions pointing upwards. I came back, flopped down where I had been sitting, and the pencil impaled my butt cheek. My husband was laughing so hard that he could barely apply the bandaid. It was fun explaining to my doctor why I needed a tetanus shot ASAP."
What's your dumbest injury story? Share it in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.