People Who Dated Adult Film Stars, Sex Workers, And OnlyFans Creators Are Sharing What It Was Like, And The Responses Are Super Eye-Opening
Sex work and its related fields are heavily stigmatized in the US, but with the rise of platforms like OnlyFans, that seems to be slowly changing. People are learning that sex is an industry as well as an act, and for many, it's their job — and it doesn't stop them from doing the things everyone else does, like dating.
So when Reddit user Yonaadug asked about people's experiences dating those in the adult entertainment industry, it was super eye-opening to read the responses (which also included stories about dating OnlyFans creators and sex workers). Here's what people who have dated in the industry have said about their experiences.*
*We also included responses from this Reddit thread.
1."She was a high-end sex worker in LA. We met on Tinder. She told me about her job on the second date, which I didn't really care about. She was pretty, normal, funny, and smart — she had lots of good qualities. She was completely separating it as work, not her personal life. But after a bit, it was weird to ask her to go see a movie on a Friday night, and she said she couldn't because one of her regulars had already booked her. And these are like millionaires in mansions; I lived a studio apartment. After a while, I was like, yeah, I can't do this."
2."I dated a pornstar who came from my area (my school district, really) and was back in town taking care of a parent who got COVID. I met her at an NFL football game — she was sitting next to me with her mom, and I was helping explain the game. I told her where I was from, and she was super happy to see someone from the same area. I gave her my number and told her to text me if she wanted to go on a date or hang out. She texted me before I even got back to my car that she wanted to go out to this restaurant that I actually love. We went and had a great time; I never mentioned that I knew what she did."
"She said she was in town until her dad got better. We left the restaurant, made out outside her car, and then she stood there staring at me. I asked her what she was thinking, and she just said, 'Just REALLY thinking…ugh, okay, I'm a porn star…' I told her that was fine and that I knew it was just a job. She hugged me and set up another date.
It went great. We drove back to my place and met my dog, and then she got on top of me. The sex was pretty fucking good. She knew exactly what she wanted and communicated it. She slept in together the next morning, made her breakfast, and asked if she could stay longer. I said, 'Of course, but I just have to start work.' (I WFH.) She was sitting on the couch porky pigging it (just my big ass shirt, no pants) and watched me work while watching TV. She did some dishes and folded the laundry I had in the dryer. I thanked her and said she didn't have to do that and that I appreciated it. I kissed her, hugged her, and lay with her on my lunch break. Then she got a call, and she had to be at an appointment with her mom for her dad.
She would stay over at my house every other night, and it was great for about 4-5 weeks. Then she brought up that her dad had gotten better three weeks ago, and she had to go back to LA. I told her she really didn't, and she could come back here and live with me since it already felt like she did. She said it felt amazing to be home with me while I worked and did stuff around the house like a 'normal life.' But she said she had no opportunity there to work, and I said, 'That's fine. I make enough to give you time to get it figured out.' She was teary-eyed and said she would talk about it with her parents. She came over the next day, and she said she had to go back even though this was exactly what she wanted.
She went back, and six to seven months later, I met my wife. About a year after she left, she sent a picture of me and my girlfriend (now wife) and said, 'I made the wrong choice. I'm sorry.' And that was it.
From what I see on Instagram, X, etc., she looks happy but is still single."
3."Right after college about 17 years ago, I briefly dated a girl who made soft-core porn. I met her because her older sister was in a sorority at my school. ... She wasn't a huge partier and was really introverted. I was going out to bars 3-4 nights a week, and I'm pretty outgoing. I ended things with her after about three weeks. ... I really couldn't handle the attention from my friends. It was all they talked about. It was how they would introduce me to new people. I got a million questions about the sex with her every day. (It was pretty good but not the best). I just wanted to be me and not just the person dating the pornstar in other people's eyes."
4."I recently went on a date with a famous porn star. We went to Disneyland; needless to say, she was getting random Airdrops on her phone while we were in line, probably from random fans. We met up with one of her friends, who is also a big porn star. They both had to turn off Airdrop because of the random messages they were getting, lol."
5."I met and casually dated a rather successful OF girl for a while after meeting on a dating app. I found out a couple of months in that she did OnlyFans and made a terrifying amount of money on it (I was suspicious when she bought two PS5s in one day for each household like it was no big deal)."
"We had a ton of fun together. She was very down to earth; she'd recently gotten divorced, and the sex was great. I only probed a little about her OnlyFans, and she showed me a little of it. Mostly nudes and solo stuff, some stuff with her ex-husband, nothing wild. She showed me the thousands of DMs she was getting, and I believed her when she said she had never moved any of them past DMs. It became a little thing for us that all these guys were dying for her attention, yet here I was getting to sleep with her.
"We talked a tiny bit about making content together, and I never felt fully comfortable doing it. I have a lot of identifying tattoos, and I didn't want our time together to become like work or money to exchange hands. Life got a little busy for both of us, and we eventually stopped seeing each other."
6."I went on a few dates with one. The first time we met, she wanted to meet at her place. She asked me to bring some shawarma, so I did. She had zero makeup, was not dressed up at all, and kept things nonsexual. The second time, I picked her up, and we went out clubbing in West Hollywood. This time, she was well dressed up, with her makeup done, and looked stunning. We had a great time and went back to her place. We had amazing sex, but not porn sex if that makes sense. The next day, she did an interview for, I think, Playboy Radio on SXM."
"They asked her about dating, and she mentioned our date the night prior! I got a shoutout, not by name, but by what we did, and she noted she had a great time and was taking it slow. The hosts were all like, 'Awww.'
We went one more time after that for dinner and drinks. But then, (I don't recall exactly what happened), she just got more busy. Suddenly, I was ghosted. It turns out that she moved to Vegas on a whim. She told me she needed a break and cut all her socials.
Years later, it seems she reactivated her social media. She told me she left the industry and was trying to be legit and live a quiet life. She did a bit of work after, I guess, for extra money, but mostly, she seemed to want a regular life. I sincerely hope she found true happiness and peace."
7."I was involved with a girl that did OnlyFans. ... It was solo content where she would either take pictures or stream videos just hanging out nude or doing whatever daily things, like makeup, organizing items, etc. Day-to-day life stuff. Gaming. She was a cool chick and all, to be honest at first it didn't bother me when she told me what she did for a living. I figured, 'After all, she chose me to get involved with.'"
"Then you quickly realize how many dudes are out there who are trying to get her attention. It gets old really fast when you see your partner responding to comments like 'Omg, thank you! (heart emoji).' Or when streaming/recording videos, they are basically saying they love XYZ for the compliments and love.
I realized that they have to create this content, and then when they are with you, it's like they are more reserved because if they do what they do normally, it's almost considered 'working.' ... Eventually, after a short while, compliments no longer meant much to her unless they came from her subscribers or viewers because those compliments meant money. Any compliment given from me was met with 'Oh, thanks.' It ended pretty quickly after that; one month? ... I would much rather stay single than deal with all that again."
8."I dated a sex worker. She was the most honest woman I've ever met. On our second date, she told me what she did and asked if it was a problem. I said no. The sex was not good. She was very proficient, and we were very compatible, but she couldn't orgasm, and she said she probably wouldn't for like a year. That didn't work for me...if a girl can't enjoy herself, I can't have sex with her. I gave her the 'let's just be friends' speech. She ended up getting knocked up by an asshole who dumped her. She was from Eastern Europe, and the dad was German. Her baby had medical issues that could only be treated in Germany. I helped her get residency; her baby got surgery, and both of them are doing well. She never got married, and I feel bad for her — she was smart as hell and would have made a great wife. All she ever wanted was a family."
9."I've dated a couple of women who were, or had been, in the entertainment industry, and it was fine. They don't think about work when they're not at work. There were occasional passing moments when I had trouble separating the two — not jealousy, but for example, I had a span of several weeks where my life was really stressful, and I didn't have a lot of sex drive, and she complained about being sexually frustrated. My first stressed-out thought was, 'Really? Don't you get more than enough sexual attention elsewhere?' but I moved past it pretty quickly. Fortunately, I didn't say my first thoughts out loud."
10."Back in the mid-90s, I had a job at an 'upscale' strip club (their words). They regularly hosted feature acts, most of whom were active performers in adult films. One weekend, I was tasked with being the 'handler' for one. Pick her up from the airport, drive her to her hotel or wherever she wants, get her to the club, etc. This particular woman was at the height of her popularity; she had a bunch of movies and was a big name in the industry. I picked her up Thursday evening. She was exhausted and wanted a 'sit down dinner,' so I made a few recommendations, and she picked one. She said she hated eating alone in strange places, so I joined her."
"I was feeling weird and didn't want to sound like a creepy fan, so I tried to ask her about anything EXCEPT her job. (I DID ask her what a couple of other stars were like when she gave me the 'window').
When I dropped her off at her hotel, I walked her to her door. She acted like she expected me to try to come up with an excuse to come in, but I just wished her goodnight and told her to call me when she wanted me to pick her up.
I didn't expect to hear from her until it was time to go to the club, but she called in the morning because she wanted to go shopping...So I took her shopping. Then she asked if I had a gym membership somewhere because the hotel gym was disappointing. So I told her she could be my guest. I asked if she was okay with stopping by my apartment so I could get workout clothes, and she was cool with it. It was weird having this porn superstar in my apartment, commenting on my fake Patrick Nagel and Bev Doolittle 'prints' (Posters in decent frames). She said I was possibly the only white guy in America under 35 who didn't have a Scarface poster framed 'like it's the fucking Mona Lisa.'
We went to the gym, and then I took her back to her room, where she made it clear she wanted me to come in. We ended up in the shower together and fooling around until she decided she wanted dinner before going to the club.
She was a hit, obviously. She asked me to spend the night after I drove her back.
She looked almost sad when she said, 'Please don't try to fuck me like we're making a movie.' She called it 'romance novel sex.' She was big into dim light/candlelight and sticking to face-to-face positions with lots of kissing.
We ended up spending every moment she wasn't on stage together, acting like a real couple. We exchanged e-mails (mid-90s, no cell phones) and maintained a long-distance relationship for over a year. Every chance she got, she came out to my city and got to be 'my girlfriend instead of everybody else's girlfriend.'
The industry really wrecked her mental health/self-esteem in the early years, and the way she acted with me, it felt like I might be one of the only guys who didn't see the porn star. She loved that I asked about her job like it was a regular job. She loved telling me about drama/gossip. She let me hold her while she sobbed about being sexually assaulted by a male performer at some industry thing.
Eventually, the romance/intimate relationship became too difficult to maintain, and communication slowed. We would email, just much less frequently. She got married to a guy she is still with.
I DID get a pretty unhinged/sobbing phone call out of the blue when I emailed her and told her I was deploying to Afghanistan. A couple of friends of hers with FDNY had died on 9/11, and she was having an absolute meltdown. Her husband actually took the phone from her and apologized to me, but I assured him it was cool and that I would happily check in frequently to let them both know I was okay. Eventually, all communication just fizzled out.
I wonder if she even remembers our little whirlwind?
... EDIT: She reached out to me on social media. By 'reached out,' I mean she 'like bombed' EVERYTHING on my IG and TikTok and sent me friend requests on EVERYTHING and a very sweet and happy message talking about her and her family, her oldest kid graduating from college, her younger kid graduating HS and about to START college. She recognized the backgrounds in some of my photos and videos of places we went together. She gushed over my wife's appearance and her unmatched skills in the areas of costume design and construction. She told me she wanted to meet as soon as it was practical for everyone involved.
She told me how her old studio recently tried to get her to come back and do 'MILF porn' and how she told them to go fuck themselves since the individual who assaulted and tried to rape her still worked for them.
She told me that she's actually very close with a couple of her old colleagues who have also retired and done their best to become 'nobodies.' The story has a genuinely happy ending."
11."I am a lesbian who dated a retired award-winning porn star who had hardcore sex with A LOT of men (and women) on camera before we dated. I met her through a dating app during COVID, and she was separated from her ex-husband at the time. I didn't really care about the porn stuff, but I did care a little about what my parents thought of it. She had some interesting/wild stories about her porn days, and I didn't really mind hearing about most of it."
"While we were together, she was still doing some solo OnlyFans stuff, and she had a couple of clients who paid her to write erotic stories about them and send them specific kinds of pictures. Personally, I did not really care because she spent a lot of the money on taking me out on fancy dates. 💀 I did set a boundary once because she was considering doing some in-person dominatrix stuff, and I was uncomfortable with her doing in-person work while we were dating.
As far as the sex went, it was good when we had it, which actually was not often because she had sexual trauma (go figure), and I wanted her to know that she had more value to me than sex. She was wild, though — she would have done anything. I'm not going to go into specifics about our breakup so I don't dox myself, but she was definitely confused about her sexuality at the time, and there were a lot of red flags I just willingly chose to ignore at the beginning of the relationship, including some obvious narcissism issues."
12."I worked in the porn business in the '80s and '90s behind the camera. I dated several of the girls in the business at that time, though rarely anything seriously. Some of them were just really fun to hang out with. One day, I was on a shoot and was filming this incredibly good-looking woman having sex. We wound up talking for like two hours while we were waiting around for another girl to show up. I asked if she wanted to get dinner. We did. Long story short, we're still married today. So yeah, I get to say the first time I ever met my wife was filming her having sex with another guy. Go figure."
13."Ex did OnlyFans seriously. She was a baller, it was great. 11/10 sex. She paid for shit cause she liked to show off her limitless cash. But holy fuck, her phone went off every minute. At best. Sometimes, multiple message notifications went off every minute. She straight-up refused to put her phone on DND or anything when we were together. I got sick of listening to it, stopped talking to her, and moved on to see someone else. It was a bit disappointing because we did vibe heaps well. She was hot AF. I definitely didn't mind all the nudes and filthy videos she'd send me whenever we weren't together for the night. Didn't talk to anyone about it either. Friends would definitely be weird about that stuff."
14."I was in the industry for a while and dated a beautiful woman who won an AVN award and was quite well-known. She was delightful, but our relationship ended because she died of a drug overdose. Tragic, but at the time, it seemed an occupational hazard in the industry. Not sure how it is these days — I changed fields after that."
15."I met a cam girl at a bar eight years ago and hooked up that night. I thought that'd be the end of it until, some months later, she reached out and wanted me to come over to her place, which was a lot more luxurious than I had expected. Apparently, she was making quite the income and also had fans bombarding her with expensive gifts. I'm guessing she was more popular than others, but I never bothered to actually look her up."
"I had visited her a few times, and we would go out for dinner/drinks, then end up messing around back at her place. Sometimes, she would show me some of her streaming sessions, which I wasn't all that interested in. I would spend the night there, but every time I fell asleep, she would stay up. And every time I woke up, she'd still be awake.
She was very nice, and I could tell that she harbored at least some genuine affection towards me. I would wake up to lewd selfies from her and get messages like 'I miss your kisses' and such. I think I could've tried to pursue a serious relationship. She was very fun to be around, let me be myself, and she was extremely attractive. The kicker was that there was no way my folks could abide by her being in the porn industry, and honestly, I wouldn't be able to handle it either. We eventually fell out of communication and stopped seeing each other, which was likely caused by me distancing myself.
Even though I'm in the best relationship of my life, I do think about her and hope that she's doing well."
16."I've dated two. One was the typical dancer turned model turned exotic dancer turned porn star. The other was your average OnlyFans content creator. The two, and their social circles, couldn't be any more different."
"The first was an awesome human and while we didn't work out, I still hold a lot of respect for her. She's a realtor now and doing well. ... She started exotic dancing and modeling to pay for college, then took a few solo and FF (female on female) movie roles to get more money. That led to a few MF (male on female) and then a few orgies, and finally, one gangbang. I met her right as she was getting out; our first date was two nights after her gangbang. The sex was AMAZING, and she craved more intimate sex most of the time. But she was a performer, and if I wanted to role-play something, she'd nail the part. She also had zero jealousy and was strongly bi. I think she was more sexually into women, and being hot AF with a great personality, there were a lot of MFFs (sex with one man and two women) with her.
The second was someone I dated for a short time, but she really made an impact. It's really my fault that I ignored all the warning flags. Basically, during the pandemic, she lost her job, and she, like everyone else, it seems, started an OnlyFans. At first, it was her doing solo stuff, then she added me without my face, and things were going well. She was making decent money, learning all about film and editing, and it wasn't bad. But as soon as she started losing subscribers, all those ignored warning signs came out in full force. Every minute of her life was about how she needed more subscribers, why 'no one thought that she was pretty anymore' and it wasn't about the money at that point, it was all about feeding her ego. She started talking with people online about doing 'collabs,' then about surgeries, and it just spiraled into chaos. ... I was planning to break it off and ended up doing so on the day she came over with the most ridiculous-looking duck lips. I couldn't look at her talk without wanting to bust up laughing and cry for her. She came over, hoping to do an MFF with her friend, and I just couldn't."
17."I've dated two male porn stars in the past (not at the same time). Neither lasted very long, but it was alright while it lasted. Both guys used the money to fund their tech start-ups, with varying success, so I caught them on the tail end of their sex work career. One guy is now very successful and has an app/website that I see around pretty often. He was sweet and very romantic, but he talked a lot and was incredibly impatient. And man, he had great taste in fancy restaurants. The other guy was getting kicked out of a bar for doing coke in the bathroom the last time I saw him. He had a pretty rough life, I think, and had some other issues going on. He also had a lot of beef with Owen Gray, which was weirdly a topic on a few of our dates. I also think this guy had ties with some organized crime; his apartment always had shipments of arms going in and out. Very strange."
"Both always paid for everything, were strictly monogamous, and pretty protective of me around other guys. They also had a fair amount of free time. Both relationships ended up ending not because of their job but because it just didn't click. I hope they're both doing well!"
18."I met a woman online years ago. At the time, I was extremely depressed and lonely. We would hang out as friends, eat pizza, and watch movies a few times a week. I found out she was an independent sex worker. She would ask to hang out whenever she didn't have clients, and we were both free. After a few weeks, she wanted to date, which surprised me. Then in the same conversation, she asked me to be her pimp. The most illegal thing I've ever done was get traffic tickets. So, this felt like a Walter White moment for me. She was a cool person, but I had to go my separate way after that conversation. To this day, I'm not sure why she asked me to work with her. But wherever she is today, I hope she's doing well."
19."I dated a guy in 2001 who went on to do porn. He's a little skinny guy with a huge dick. Nice guy, good in bed, super smart. Way too much of a pothead and too personally irresponsible with things like money and cleaning up after himself for me to settle down with."
20."Sensual massages (i.e., rub and tug) was my wife's profession. We've been married for six years, together for seven. I love her more than anything in the world — and yes, she does give a world-class hand job."
21."I'm still with her — about to celebrate five years. :D I helped her get paid more and learn to book shoots, etc. I love her, and she loves what she does."
22."I dated an OF model. ... The sex was great; she was very adventurous and did almost anything we could think of. We had a few threesomes and even a foursome (me and three women, wouldn't really recommend). We went to swinger clubs, private lavish parties, etc. She'd actively try to pick up women while we were out and didn't mind if I did the same. Bad part? The phone. She was constantly replying to messages and chats; she couldn't give it a break for even 15 minutes. Once, right after sex, I could hear her already on her phone in the bathroom as she was cleaning herself up. I knew in my mind I'd never be permanently with her, so when I got annoyed enough, I told her it wasn't working and moved along."
23."I dated an actress when I was in my twenties. I met her at a store that did out-call sex work (legal in this country), and I met her fairly regularly through said store. My friend was a pretty established DJ, and I used to head to the club regularly with him. She had quit her previous sex work gig, and she had just started DJing. This is pretty normal over here, with girls trying different things to keep themselves relevant rather than just sex work. Out of sheer coincidence, she ended up getting booked regularly at the same venues as my friend. I guess the fact that we were used to being sexual with each other, coupled with the alcohol and the regularity that we would meet, made a relationship kind of inevitable. For those curious, we ended up hooking up in the garden during one of her gigs. There was a bit of alcohol in both of us, and we just started making out. She was honestly a fairly normal girl who just happened to be an AV actress and a DJ."
"The sex was fairly vanilla, and she never wanted to do anything she did in her videos because that was for work. Our schedules didn't often overlap, and we saw each other more at clubs and the pre-game for the club than anytime else. Our relationship was mostly just sex, clubs, and alcohol. We ended up breaking up over that, but we're still on good terms with each other. Last I chatted with her, she was dating a medical doctor. She's still doing adult work and DJing."
24."I had a crush on a coworker back in 2000/2001. She was cute AF and had a wildly good body. She was on/off with another coworker, so nothing happened between us. Fast-forward five or so years. I'm back home from the military, at the local strip joint, and she comes out dancing. We talked for a while that night and ended up dating for a few months. She had a bad couple of years before and ended up doing several movies. Oral was 10/10. Sex was great at first — she was like a human sex doll. She would sell that she was loving everything. But there was no real intimacy if that makes sense. There was no real break up; she liked living the stripper/F&B lifestyle, which didn't fit my 8-5 work schedule."
25."I live in 'porn valley' aka the San Fernando Valley north of LA, which is known historically as the porn capital of the world. In the 1990s and 2000s, there were plenty of porn actresses around if you were in the right age bracket and sort of aware of the scene. I met many girls in the business back then. ... My best story would be about three girls who were living in a house together. The thing to remember is that if these ladies were mildly successful in the business (i.e., busy, shooting scenes every day or other day), they made a really nice income. Not a fortune, but they were balling for their age, and it was all FAST CASH. So they were independent women, feeling empowered by their success, and of course, young and wanting to have fun! It was an exciting time for them! And I got to go along for the ride for a while."
"I would definitely echo what someone else said here — the girls had their own money and loved to treat us to drinks and dinners. ... These particular three girls were all mid-level 'stars': not hugely famous, but if you watched a lot of porn in those days, you would recognize their names for sure. Anyway, they rented a huge, furnished, gorgeous house here in the valley, and I was sort of dating one girl, so my friends and I would party there every night. They had all the fun toys (Xbox, karaoke, whatever), a stocked bar, and ALL the drugs, and they never had to be up early for work, lol.
It wasn't like we'd go there and orgy every night, … but there were definitely a LOT of titties out all the time, girls kissing each other and dancing together, dildos strewn about, and when my chick and I would hook up, it was definitely all the bells and whistles. ... Believe it or not, that can get old pretty quickly, and she found it endearing that I just wanted to have 'normal' sincere type sex. It was still freaky and fun but without all the over-the-top embellishments.
I think what surprised me and stands out the most from those four or five months was how sweet and normal these ladies were, despite the fact they were performing wild acts on camera every day. We're all humans, just trying to make our way through life, picking up some experiences along the way, trying to find happiness however we know how."
26."Not exactly a star, but he was a porn actor for a little while. I used to do sex work, too, so I didn't hold it against him. Plus, we both have really high libido and endurance (probably how we both ended up in sex work), so meeting our match in bed was a massive pleasant surprise. We were both pretty messed up people when we first met. It was supposed to be just a hookup. We ended up getting along really well, and we kept meeting, with hooking up as an excuse. Before we noticed, the romance aspect was already more prominent than the sexual one. We went on dates. He met my parents. He even went with me on a family trip. We're still together, saving up money to move in together and get married."
27."I dated a young woman who did a few XXX scenes with known producers, and when we were dating, it was her career. She told me on the first date, and I was a little taken aback but still game since she was so gorgeous and sexy. It was perfect for me at the time, coming off a long-term relationship and also feeling the last of my young-man oats as I turned 40. We dated on and off for almost a year. ... The sex was amazing and no-holds-barred, with her constantly saying things like, 'I want to practice this thing I might have to do for a scene. Are you game?'"
"She switched effortlessly between porn-star talk and real intimacy in bed, which was super hot and made both feel very genuine. She was like some magic phenomenon that made me feel better after a period of loss and mourning without asking barely anything but attention and affection in return.
I think it filled both our needs at the time, but it was never going to be a long-term intimate relationship, which is a shame because I thought very highly of her. We were just at wildly different places in our lives. I think that now, with maturity (on both of our parts), we'd be more compatible, but that's life, right? Sometimes, we meet the right person at the wrong time."
28."I dated a girl that did mainstream porn and OnlyFans. She had to travel to Vegas once a month to shoot scenes and was getting tested once a month. It's roughly similar to a regular job because most view it as work and then put on a specific personality for marketing purposes (interviews, etc). It's going to boil down to how you view porn. If you think it's competition, then you will be miserable. If you view it as just another job to pay the bills, then it's relatively normal."
29."It's fun and lively until it's not. I super encourage anyone to try it out and be open-minded, but just be cautious. ... Sometimes it's not her. She could be amazing. You could be okay with her work. But her social circle is fucked beyond belief: drugs, low-rent or high-rent criminals, mental health crises galore with her best friends or mom or whatever. She always has a wildly violent ex. She might not have credit, but she has lots of money. ... It's all cash business — so she uses pre-paid credit cards and can't sign a lease on an apartment ... I learned if I like her, then I just naturally fall into pseudo husband mode and that is a headache if you break up. I've never been ripped off or been taken advantage of. (I have, but not with a sex work girl; they have been surprisingly honest with me.)"
"I can't get back to regular sex with regular vanilla-minded women. I can enjoy a few nights or a few months of regular plain old, 'I got you flowers and lit a candle and put on Marvin Gaye, and here's some oral, give me a bit of oral, doggy and missionary and oooh maybe I can finish on your stomach today' vanilla sex but it gets tiring fast. ... Sex clubs, more advanced forms of BDSM, public stuff, intricate and/or more taboo role plays — while I think any couple can get there if there's a match and some time and some openness, I found it was a hell of a lot faster to get to with women I dated in and around the adult industry. There was definitely a lot more comfort and 'go get it' attitude for things like getting head in public or bringing a third party home or having sex while high on something."
30."Right before I met the woman of my dreams, my now-wife, I met Brooke. She had just moved from Cali, and I met her on some random dating app. This girl was sickeningly hot. Like an absolute model. I was shook when she actually wanted to meet. I was pretty into party drugs (mostly, ex, acid, RC, and I did get into smoking meth for like a month — not my proudest times in life) at the time and figured it was worth the gamble to go meet her. I didn't give a fuck about anything."
"We met and hit it off. Both loved the rave scene and drugs. How fucking romantic. I soon found out that she was a go-go dancer and occasionally an online sex worker. I was told that I was the best guy she ever dated. It felt great. People would stare wherever we went 'cause I'm just some skate rat Joe, and she would be all dolled up, fancy-looking, and all over me. I even made friends jealous; they wanted to hang out with her and would tell me if I ever didn't want to date her, that they would gladly take my spot! I felt like a fucking celebrity being with her.
Being the douchebag I was at the time, I was still looking at girls online, and that's where I saw my wife. She was my fucking soulmate; I could tell from the second I saw her profile pic. I hit her up, and we clicked. I decided to break it off with Brooke just cause I always felt like I couldn't keep up with her, and I was super into the woman I had just found. She was devastated. She would call and text me, telling me she loved me and would do whatever she could to get me back (Mind you, we only dated for like a month!).
I was off drugs and in love with the new girl I met, and things were and still are great over a decade later. We're married. We also have a 10-year-old kiddo. :)
I later found out Brooke had gotten into heroin and was in and out of rehab. Then she found this big jocky guy in, like, Nebraska or whatever. She had a kid with him, became a flight attendant, and split up with the guy. She looked like she was doing good for herself and her kid. I felt happy that she was happy and that I was happy with my wife and kid.
Then, one day, out of the blue, I came across her Instagram and read that she had died and left behind that little four or five-year-old girl. It was fucking wild; my heart sank. To this day, you cannot find out what happened. It's just comments on her old Instagram of all her friends saying they love and will miss her. ... I always believed she ended up relapsing and ODing.
I've worked hard to try and remove the guilt from myself, but part of me still tells myself that if I had not been a dick and started looking for someone else, she would still be alive, and that little girl would still have her mommy. RIP Brooke. I'm sorry."
31.And finally..."To give a different perspective, I am a camgirl and sell content on OF. I'm in a serious relationship as well, but I started after meeting him. Our relationship is healthy— great communication and depth, and our sex life is great! He is actually more sexually experienced than I am, and he sees me as innocent despite what I do. I also have a Masters Degree and have held long-term jobs that paid well. I started in the industry as a temporary solution after a massive layoff at the company I worked for. I'm six months in and plan to find something else soon, but I might continue camming part-time to pay off some credit card debt and my student loans. As far as my personality goes, I consider myself kind, humble, intelligent, and funny."
"I love deep conversations on existential topics, and I even dabble in standup comedy. I say this to demonstrate that women involved in the sex industry aren't always broken, lost, arrogant, or addicted to drugs. We are still good people, and for the majority of us, it's simply a job."
Now it's your turn — have you ever dated someone in any of these industries, or are you a sex worker, adult entertainment star, or OnlyFans creator who dates? Let us know in the comments below or via this anonymous form.
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.