Yahoo Lifestyle People Are Anonymously Confessing The "Adult Secrets" They'll Never Reveal To Their Family Members
Recently, Redditor u/According_Fig7999 asked the Reddit community to share the "adult confessions" that they'll never tell their family members, and they're extremelyyyy juicy:
1."My husband cheated on me and moved out to go live with his side piece for a week, and I took him back."
2."I was a sex worker for two years to help pay off my husband's debts, buy a new car, and get out of where we were living. More specifically, men paid me to breastfeed them, as I was eight months postpartum. It's our dirty little secret because it got us to where we are now."
3."I do not believe in God, and I smoked weed with my youth pastor on Wednesday nights whenever my parents made me go to church."
4."Most of my family know I did escorting. Most of them don't know that the majority of my customers were lonely, middle-aged gay men."
5."I make my living owning and running a small business that designs and sells custom plushies and apparel. My family thinks I make my money crocheting — and I do make a few bucks here and there from my yarn work — but the absolute vast majority of my income comes from the custom-made latex fetishwear and kink gear I produce."
6."Sometimes, I wish my parents were divorced so that I could visit my mom without having to see my dad at the same time."
7."I found my parents' wills and steamed them open to see which brothers would get the most after their passing. The youngest (me) does."
8."I pawned my parents' wedding rings (they were divorced already, and my mom kept them) to pay for college applications and an eighth of sour diesel. Doing so eventually got them to stop having revenge sex because they blamed each other for the rings' absence — meanwhile, I was 37 credit hours into school. I felt like a little shit for doing it, but my parents hate each other to this day, and I'm almost finished with my degree."
9."I quit college when I was 33 hours away from my degree, so I never graduated. I was working toward a mechanical engineering degree and hated every bit of it. I was only in it because my parents paid the bill and forced me. I do really well financially in IT, but I feel like this lie coming to light would tear my family apart."
10."I had sex with an exchange student my grandmother was hosting (I was 16, and they were 17). A week later, the exchange student met my uncle, whom she married soon after, thus becoming my aunt."
11."I'm in debt because my business is struggling. My parents think I've lost so much weight because I'm dieting when, in reality, it's because I can't afford food. Any money I get goes to buying my dog's food so that he never goes hungry. He always has a full belly, and that's the only thing that matters."
12."I was a stripper for two years. I paid cash for college. Twenty-five years later, no one knows."
13."My wife and I were swingers for a time. One night, we went to a large weekend party for swingers. We saw my parents checking in. Needless to say, we made a quick exit."
14."I draw furry kink smut for a living and make more than I would if I worked full-time in retail. I'm my own boss, I work from home, and the clients are generally FAR kinder than when I worked for firms as a designer. I just tell my family I'm a freelance illustrator/graphic designer and that I'm 'working on' posting my work online."
15."The real reason I couldn't afford my motorcycle anymore and had to sell it is because, in my new city, I didn't have access to that mechanic I was sleeping with before. Sorry I had to sell the bike, Dad."
16."I'm agnostic. My Catholic mother would kill me if she knew."
17."My ex-girlfriend and I made porn content on PornHub years ago and made some money off of it. After we separated, we deleted our account, but some videos were quite popular, and I'm sure they are still floating around somewhere on the internet."
18."I'd never tell my father that his second wife with alcoholism (my first step-mom) drunkenly came onto me one night when he was out working. I was 15 years old, and it happened less than a year after they got married."
19."I got a vasectomy when I was 24. Sorry, Mom and Dad, you can't pressure me into giving you grandkids now."
20."I would never tell my family that I secretly like wearing women's panties."
21.Lastly: "My buddy, Jake, invited me to his church's trivia night, so I figured, Sure, I'll pretend to know Bible stuff if it means I get unlimited slices of pepperoni. Things were going great until one trivia question asked, 'What's the fastest-growing Christian denomination?' Being the self-proclaimed king of useless knowledge, I muttered, 'Probably the Mormons. Those guys are grinding harder than a Call of Duty streamer.' Turns out, I was right. Pastor Dan, the youth pastor, overheard me and started asking questions like I was some Mormon historian. Now, I'm not Mormon, but thanks to a deep dive into Wikipedia after watching The Book of Mormon musical, I had random facts locked and loaded. So, I started rambling about Joseph Smith, golden plates, and how Mormons don't do coffee, but somehow still have the energy of caffeinated squirrels."
"Apparently, Pastor Dan was fascinated. He started asking me more questions, and since my brain is 80% trivia facts and 20% anxiety, I just kept going. I figured he’d forget about it. Fast forward a few weeks: Jake tells me Pastor Dan has been deeply researching Mormonism, like full-on studying theology, reading the Book of Mormon, and apparently vibing with it. Then, last week, Jake drops this bomb: 'Dude, Pastor Dan just announced he’s converting.' I went to church for free pizza and accidentally built a Mormon."
Wow, that was...a lot, and I think I need to lie down now. What's an "adult" secret that you're keeping from your family members? Let us know in the comments, or you can anonymously share your story using this form!
Note: Some confessions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
