An Australian blogger is going viral after sharing her honest take on how relationships can change after having a baby.
Constance Hall, a writer and radio show host, took to Facebook to pen a lengthy post about the strain having a child has put on her relationship with her husband, Denim Cooke.
The 35-year-old mother of five began by saying she constantly receives compliments from her followers about how “hands on” her husband is with their children.
However, although it appears picture perfect online, Hall said things changed after they welcomed their first child together and that their relationship has been pushed “to the absolute edge.”
“I’m not man bashing or airing my dirty laundry…” Hall clarified. “The minute the baby came out, I became the ball and chain. Coming somewhere with me became a chore, holding the baby, a favour, and we went from being inseparable …to Christmas holidays with two trips apart already.”
Hall admits that she feels “lonely” and “resentful” of the energy it takes her to manage the household and take care of the baby. “That’s the thing about babies,” she wrote. “They take away all of your alone time and somehow leave you feeling incredibly lonely.”
Hall, who penned the book Like a Queen continued, “Thank you for giving me some superficial gratification when telling me that we are couple goals but in the spirit of honesty, having a baby is one thing, sharing that baby is a completely different story.”
The post has been shared more than 27,500 times with more than 10,000 comments from fans praising the blogger for her honesty.
For Hall, the waves of marriage feeling “unfair” are all part of being in a relationship. Despite the hardships, she’s determined to make her marriage work.
When you help a new mum you aren’t just helping her, When you bring her and her family home cooked meals, Or take her older children to school for her, Or show up with nappies, nappy wipes, milk and bread, Or take her kids for a sleepover on the weekend.. Your not just cooking bolognese or spending your time with her kids or doing a supermarket run.. Your buying her time. Time with her new baby, doing the most important thing that a new mother can do. Teaching that baby what love and connection and attachment feels like. Time that she would have never gotten back. I know first hand the difference between being a stressed and lonely mum and a well supported relaxed one makes. Since Raja was born my house has been a revolving door of help that has bought Raja and I the most peaceful transition and bond and connection. If you are one of those people, that brings the lasagna, drops off the wine, picks up the kids.. you are a modern day hero. You keep this world turning. And I want to say thank you. Love Raja and his mum 💗
A post shared by constanceandtribe (@mrsconstancehall) on Jun 10, 2018 at 11:52pm PDT
“Where there is love there is a way and there is no shortage of love in my marriage,” she wrote. “We will grow and we will be OK. Because as my recently divorced male friend told me, ‘You think having a baby and wife is depressing, until they leave you. And then you learn the meaning of depressing.'”
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