It’s no secret that one of the most stressful parts of planning a wedding is organising the seating chart.
You can be pretty sure that you will unintentionally leave someone peeved off with where you place them at the reception, whether or not you think you’re doing the right thing.
And that’s exactly what happened when one couple decided to place the groom’s mother beside her ex-husband.
The furious mother took to Mumsnet to ask other what they thought, after her son and his bride put her sitting next to her ex on the top table on the day.
The mum explained that her son is getting married in three months and only just discovered that she would be sitting next to her ex, who she divorced 23 years ago, and not her husband, who she has been married to for 20 years.
She went on to say that she hasn’t spoken to her ex for the past 15 years, after police became involved in their relationship.
The man she’s now married to ‘raised’ her three children as his own and they also have a son together.
“He has always treated the children as if they were his own, providing everything that they needed and wanted, while exh (ex-husband) couldn’t even be bothered to keep up contact with them, despite living 20 mins drive away from us,” the mum said online.
“Exh did not contribute anything in terms of maintenance for them, he did not turn up for visits and at one point told my dh (darling husband) to legally adopt them so that he would not be responsible for any money that they might need.
“I was honestly relieved that he couldn’t be bothered to keep up contact, however I never tried to stop him, even though I probably should have.
“There was very little contact until ds was over 18 and could go into a pub and drink alcohol. They have built a shaky relationship now and I’m fine with that.”
However, she continued, saying she’s ‘really hurt’ that her husband has been relegated to a table with other relatives while her ex-husband sits at the top table.
She said she knows how much the plan will upset her husband and can’t bring herself to tell him.
“I know how much he will be hurt and shocked as they have always had a great relationship,” she said.
She went on to say that she has tried to speak to her son about how uncomfortable the seating chart will be he’s ‘adamant that it’s traditional and how they want it’.
The mum said her daughter has now fallen out with her son because of how ‘incredibly inconsiderate’ the seating plan is.
“I know it’s their wedding and they can do what they like,” she said.
“But I do not want to be seated apart from dh (darling husband) to sit next to a man that made my life a living hell for years.”
People replied to the mum online, claiming that if the son really wanted to be traditional, she should be seated next to the bride’s father at the wedding reception.
“That being said, if I was in your position, I would sit where the bride and groom asked me to. It is just for the meal,” one person said.
Another person sympathised with the mum, saying she should ‘put her foot down’ with her son.
“Very unreasonable of your DS to make arrangements that make you so uncomfortable at his wedding. Can’t you sit next to brides father with your DH on your other side. Your ex can sit next to brides DH. Then traditional protocols are observed and top table has a plus one,”a commenter said.
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