A new mum is fuming after finding out her mother-in-law convinced her husband to secretly change the spelling of their son’s name behind her back.
Admitting she is “furious”, the woman wrote to an advice column on Slate explaining their son’s middle name had been changed from the agreed upon ‘Finley’, to ‘Finlay’, and asked if she should confront his mother over what happened.
She didn’t discover the change until their son was two months old after she had been looking for his Social Security card and birth certificate to file away. She found out later that the clandestine change happened while she was recovering from her emergency c-section.
“I, of course, am furious, because I told him I was fine with the middle name but it had to be spelled Finley—and he agreed before our son was ever born,” she wrote.
“Now here is where it gets tricky. Apparently his mother guilt-tripped him into doing this while I was asleep after my emergency C-section.”
She claims the mother has always been a “manipulator” and even tried to convince her husband to change the child’s first name, saying she would “get mad, but get over it”.
“My husband is very much also at fault for doing this in the first place and we are working through that together, but I feel as though something needs to be said to my mother-in-law. Do I approach her about this,” she asked.
The columnist was equally angry at what had happened, telling the mum she advised against her confronting her in law “because I’d be afraid an actual fistfight would break out”.
“Secondly, what is up with your husband? He’s got to decide if you are his co-parent or if his mother is. And until he makes that decision, he can’t be trusted,” the advice continued.
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