Meri Brown Reflects on the 35 Years She Spent with Kody Brown: 'High Hopes and Dashed Realities'

Meri shared that her tethers to Kody were "already broken" but she is now able to break free of the "tethers to emotions of what is said and how things are played out and portrayed"

<p>Meri Brown/Instagram, TLC</p> From left: Meri and Kody Brown

Meri Brown/Instagram, TLC

From left: Meri and Kody Brown

Meri Brown is looking back on the ups and downs of her marriage to Kody Brown.

The Sister Wives star, 53, reflected on the lessons she learned since her relationship with Kody concluded in January 2023 after 32 years of marriage and 35 years together.

“It's a road trip day, and when I road trip, I use the time to catch up with friends,” she shared in a lengthy Instagram post on Monday, Oct. 21. “I was having a conversation today, and we were discussing marriage, divorce, and wisdom we've gained through our experiences. Mid conversation, I had this realization that today, 35 years ago, I met who would eventually become my ex-husband.”

While she doesn’t consider herself “a sentimental gal,” Meri noted that she believes birthdays and anniversaries should be celebrated, adding, “Dates and memories are important to me. So when I realized today was 35 years, I took a moment to be a little weirded out by it, and then recognized it for what it was, the first day of the rest of my life.”

Related: Sister Wives: Kody Tells Meri 'I Actually Like You Now' After Split but He's Unsure How to 'Define' Their New Bond (Exclusive)

Then, the reality star shared the highs and lows that she experienced during the pair’s relationship.

“The past 35 years have been a mixture of high hopes and dashed realities, dreams come true and broken hearts,” she shared. “This is how life rolls, and we can't avoid it. There's no telling what life will throw at us, and only we can determine how we will react to it.”

Meri believes she is now ready to move forward and break the emotional ties she had to her time with Kody, explaining, “Just in the past week, I've had some experiences where I've been able to look at what was and what is, and really break free from some of the tethers. Not tethers to him, those are already broken, but tethers to emotions of what is said and how things are played out and portrayed.”

“The peace and freedom that come with letting go and allowing things to just ‘be’ is empowering,” she added.

Ida Mae Astute/Walt Disney Television via Getty Images From left: Kody and Meri Brown
Ida Mae Astute/Walt Disney Television via Getty Images From left: Kody and Meri Brown

Related: Sister Wives: Kody Wants to Be 'Friends' with Meri After Their Split Because He Doesn't 'Need One More Enemy'

Meri noted that she felt it was “a full circle momemt [sic], a day the loop has closed,” adding, “This is one of many full circle moments that have come to me in the past two years especially, and every time it happens, I embrace it and allow a little more of the pain to wash away.”

The businesswoman concluded the caption by sharing that she has no regrets about the choices that led to this moment.

“I'm grateful for the experiences. I don't regret my life or the twists and turns that have played out,” she shared. “I'm happy with who I am, flaws and all. I'm looking forward to what is yet to come, for it will be freaking amazing, and I'm so here for it! #WorthyUp #GreatnessBeginsToday

Meri’s post comes nearly two years after the former couple confirmed their separation publicly in January 2023. Before Meri and Kody’s announcement, the patriarch’s fellow wives Christine Brown and Janelle Brown also decided to split from the reality star within a year of each other. Robyn is now Kody's only remaining wife.

<p>Puddle Monkey Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock </p> From left: Janelle Brown, Christine Brown, Kody Brown, Meri Brown and Robyn Brown

Puddle Monkey Prods/Kobal/Shutterstock

From left: Janelle Brown, Christine Brown, Kody Brown, Meri Brown and Robyn Brown

Related: Sister Wives: Meri Brown Reveals She Breastfed 1 of Kody's Other Spouses' Kids, Says It 'Was Medically Necessary'

On a recent episode of Sister Wives, Meri reflected on her emotions as she was granted a divorce from Kody through the pair’s church (a.k.a. the Apostolic United Brethren).

“I was granted what is called in our church, a release, which is basically the equivalent of a divorce,” she shared during a confessional. "It was a very, very hard conversation, hard in meaning heartbreaking because this is not what I wanted to do. This is not what I intended when I married Kody."

“When we marry, it is for eternity. That’s the intention," she added. “So once I had that terminated or released, that means it’s done.”

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Sister Wives airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.

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