Sex moves to please her

November 15, 2010, 2:33 pmmenshealth

Make her the happiest woman in bed

Sex & Women

Flip through any sex manual and you’ll find a lot of advice on how to rev up your woman before sex and what levers to pull and buttons to push during the deed.

All of that information is essential, but what about after the action? Your knowledge and skill here are what separates the lovers from the losers in the bedroom.

“Chances are the winners are the ones who are going to get a repeat,” says Dr Janet Hall, a sex therapist and author of Sex-Life Solutions. “That’s what it’s all about. Men do fight the fact that serotonin, which is the sleep ‘drug’, circulates through them after they come. So it takes a conscious effort to apply your brain – which is supposed to be your most important sex organ – to what it is that you’re really wanting to bring forth in your partner.”

So what do you want to bring forth? A meek-and-mild mouse or crazed love demon ready to consume you whole? Read on and apply this advice for a raunchier sex life with your maiden.

COME TO HER EMOTIONAL RESCUE. “After sex, if you just turn over and forget about the emotional connection – which to her is usually the key focus – it’s like you take her halfway there and then just dump her,” explains Hall. “She needs the emotional coda.”

Give her general compliments – but not about the size of her breasts or her bum.

“Rather say things like, ‘I love being with you’ and ‘you’re so beautiful to me’. Men tend to take this for granted, but using your golden tongue after sex is just as important as using it during the physical part.”

EXERCISE THAT GOLDEN TONGUE A BIT MORE. “Don’t bring up any comparisons with her after sex; that’s the worse thing to say,” adds Hall. “She likes you to talk about romantic goals and dreams.” Like those walks along the beach in Tahiti you’d love to take with her.

YOU GOTTA HAND IT TO HER. “Women always know that you want to give them a massage before sex to warm them up, so offer a massage afterwards,” advises Hall. “Massage her lower back, when she’s lying on her tummy. It stimulates the kundalini– sexual energy – and is soothing. Just smooth across her lower back – side to side, right to left – using your whole hand, but softly and gently.”

THE TIME IS RIGHT. “After sex, timing’s everything,” according to Hall. “Just don’t jump up too quickly for anything, not even to get her a cup of tea. She’ll think you’re going to watch TV. Stay with her until she decides what’s next.

“But if you really do want to get up and watch TV, asking her if you can make her a cup of tea is much better than saying, ‘The footy’s on, gotta go’.”

SHOWER HER WITH GIFTS. Set up the bathroom so that it’s a warm and inviting space for her to shower in. Here, preparation is important, like a few bottles of top-of-the-line bath oil or body lotion just for her.

“Any kind of thoughtful, nurturing gesture, like fluffy towels, is ideal,” advises Hall.


Boost the number and intensity of her orgasms with these tips from A Bit on the Side by Tracey Cox.

Don’t race to get to the finish line. The longer you spend on foreplay, the more enhanced the ultimate climax will be for both of you.

Give her a head start. Give her an orgasm through oral sex or masturbation before intercourse.

Don’t treat her clitoris like it’s a lift button. Some men think the more they press it, the quicker she’ll zoom to the top. (That doesn’t work for lifts either.) Most women climax if you work around the base of the clitoris rather than touch it directly.

Get wet. It doesn’t mean she’s not turned on if she’s not lubricating like crazy; she might just be at a different stage of the menstrual cycle, stressed or tired. Accept that sometimes you may need to add artificial lubricant, like K-Y Jelly.

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  1. Gomez Addams08:34pm Sunday 10th March 2013 ESTReport Abuse

    The trouble with our so called modern liberalism western society is that with all the sex knowledge at a person's disposal, the attribute most lacking is streetwise savvy; ie an intuitive common sense attitude to love making instead of engaging in bedroom golf.

  2. Yasmin01:51pm Monday 26th November 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    So what? Serotonin isn't released when I come? Let me tell you, if I've had a good orgasm the first thing I want to do is roll over and nap!! Actually, not even roll over... I want to lie there as the ecstasy subsides and just drift into dream land. And no don't cuddle me, just let me enjoy the pleasure of it! Janet I think you're just too caught up in the stereotypical divide of the sexes to offer any really helpful advice. Here's some advice - men why not try letting your women come last instead of you!

  3. Sara12:14am Friday 05th October 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    I'm agreeing with the sleep part of this, cuddles first then sleep, always the winner if the performance was good, you may end up with a cling on. Money isn't a big thing, find out her interests, do something together, simple things like watching a movie on the couch, going for a bike ride, that doesn't cost money. Show her you want to spend time with her outside the bedroom and she'll want to please you in.

  4. Robert03:35pm Friday 07th October 2011 ESTReport Abuse

    If you cant shower her with gifts try to think of something else to shower her with?? Golden

  5. Paul06:39pm Saturday 16th July 2011 ESTReport Abuse

    yes looks and money get clothes off and if you splash more out they will stay with you till they of course find someone with more money!

    1 Reply
  6. Ajmer Nadeem08:10am Tuesday 03rd May 2011 ESTReport Abuse

    sex moves

  7. darren08:01am Sunday 24th April 2011 ESTReport Abuse

    Just don't use whipped cream it starts smelling like off milk pretty quick must be the heat of the action.

  8. Ozzi Pariah03:47pm Sunday 02nd January 2011 ESTReport Abuse

    Use honey instead of Margarine John, it's benefit two fold - natural and very tasty

  9. frank05:10pm Friday 17th December 2010 ESTReport Abuse

    john i had 2 give u a thumbs up..hahahaha

  10. Marc04:59pm Wednesday 17th November 2010 ESTReport Abuse

    yes, i knew it! if you spend money on her, she will get naked for you!



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