Why your partner will cheat on you

JASON GILMORE HAS SLEPT with six married women. The first was Abbey, a 25-year-old Nascar fanatic. The affair began innocently enough – they met at work, where he was in ad sales, and connected over a shared sense of humour. Then came Shannon, a department head at his office. She was a petite woman with a giant libido. There was also Linda, a fiery woman in her fifties with fake-red hair. That on-again, off-again fling lasted for years.

You may call Gilmore a sleazy opportunist. Nevertheless, we can potentially learn something from guys like him. So what did he have that the husbands of half a dozen women didn’t? “I cared enough to listen,” he says. “These women were alone. They may have been married, but if a woman is alone emotionally, she’s alone.”

He’s right. Research shows that the average woman’s cheating is sparked by marital unhappiness, not lust. In a 2011 Indiana University study, women who reported low relationship happiness were nearly three times as likely to cheat as contented women were. “Guys are more apt to seek purely physical, one-night-stand gratification,” says Dr Kristina Gordon, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Tennessee. “But women are more likely to cheat if they’re not satisfied with their marriage.” The differences don’t end there; the outcome of a woman’s straying can be more dramatic as well. “Often, the affair partner treats her well and she may realise what she’s missing in her marriage,” says Gordon. “In those cases, she might not regret it.”

With these revelations in mind, we checked in with Gilmore and other Lotharios so we could gauge our own marital blind spots. Then we filtered their insights, however tawdry, through our experts to find out how you can keep your girls out of their hands – and in your bed.

Photo by Shutterstock Nov 30, 2012

Why your partner will cheat on you

Want to keep your partner from straying? Use these five secrets from the guys trying to seduce your better half.

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  1. Zainab07:30am Sunday 02nd March 2014 ESTReport Abuse

    As most people think "The truth will set u free" it's not true most of the time. Some people are very set in comfort mode and no matter what you say or do they see nothing wrong in the relationship. Even if your open and honest it doesn't make a difference. I've heard many times that you can't have sex,romance or emotional attachment after being married for sometime, you just fizzle out and have to just accepted it. When men or women ignore their partners needs this happens to them. Of course some affairs are just lust.

  2. Frag03:33pm Saturday 01st February 2014 ESTReport Abuse

    I think someone should love the person for who they are and not just love them for the holdover or the time they wanna just #$%$ around and play ether way I love my wife and I believe she loves me and I'm stricken to it through thick n thin

  3. Jo05:41pm Sunday 30th December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    Honesty has not made a difference in my relationship. I have made everything clear over the 8 years and mentioned many times what makes me happy and what doesnt. My partner still has not made any changes to keep the relationship going. If only honesty works!

  4. Jonathan Douglas04:21pm Sunday 30th December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    For Goodness Sakes, People should be Honest in their Relatioships, be as Truthful As! Like I say,Truth can make you Laugh,Truth can make you Cry..,But Truth is Truth! Be upfront,don't hold back,tell your Love One or Partner How you feel,or it's not working, don't hide behind a False Smile..,if you're not Happy in your Relationship! Research is Research, punching up Facts & Figures that has no bearing on what Real Issue(s) are! Cut the #$%$speak from the Heart as the Heart is the Truth of Us all!

  5. wanderer04:25pm Sunday 16th December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    always someone who chases a good looking woman .... to test their strength

  6. sven10:50am Monday 10th December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    My latest book, "I Steal Wives: A serial adulterer reveals the REAL reasons more and more 'happily married' women are cheating" is a powerful look at this EXPLOSIVE topic of female infidelity. Research shows its not only on the rise, but rivals or EXCEEDS that of male cheating. And the REAL reasons aren't the typical blather you hear on talk-TV or read in the SECOND-HAND information of some psychologist's self-help book. This book is the FIRST BOOK EVER WRITTEN on female infidelity from the FIRST-HAND experience of a serial adulterer, who cheated with the wives/girlfriends of over 25 married men (and a few women), and who also happens to be a therapist (never cheated with clients) and has an eye for patterns in behavior, but more importantly, the core beliefs that drive behavior! The deep and powerful insights of this book will startle women and scare the holy hell out of men! And here’s a tip: Cheating always, always, always boils down to the exact same reason at the core: FEAR!!!! ALWAYS! "I Steal Wives" is a salacious, self-deprecating, at times funny, and penetratingly insightful look into what is now the very cutting-edge of relationships. It's the relationship version of "How to Secure Your House, as told by a professional burglar!" It will forever change how you do relationships and view life! Check it out now at Amazon and Barnes and Noble!! It's VERY POPULAR! People are loving it and it's selling FAST!

  7. Inderjeet11:29pm Wednesday 05th December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    A real man always sticks to one women ( the love of his life), I would say unlucky people who could not find proper love keep on looking here and there, once a person finds his sole mate, that is the end of flirting and playing. It is extremely hard to find a person who truly cares for you and understands you psychologically, only lucky people are able to get that kind of lifetime partner. If I get that kind of life partner, I will be her slave.

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  8. Dan Windsor07:53pm Wednesday 05th December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    Regardless of home situations or circumstances, cheating on someone, especially someone you are meant to love is one of the most hurtful and cruel things to do. All you so called new age 'cool' people out there that think cheating is nothing and that old fashion romance and honor is in the past just keep trying to fill that empty hole in your heart with selfish meaningless desires and soon you will be alone and empty, just like your meaningless life. To love and honor someone who does the same for you, to be there for each other, that is what life is worth living for.

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  9. Verityseeker07:24am Sunday 02nd December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    The Indiana Uni research is a load of sexist rubbish. Both men AND women cheat for lust. Of course there are always some men and women who are unhappy in their marriages but most people have sex because they are sexually aroused. Most researchers are aware that in self report surveys women lie about their lust because they are more embarassed than men about cheating. Cheating is cruel and cowardly. Let us not look for excuses to justify the act.

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  10. John Kay07:19am Sunday 02nd December 2012 ESTReport Abuse

    The fact of the matter is were humans we love sex and attention, but only from the people we are attracted to in the first place other wise we wouldn't be bother with them. So what's the big deal, this is the 21century, marriage is nothing like it use to be in my parents age where religion was the controller of a lot of our moral ways. And we travel so much now days. Extra Sex is like getting ones hair done or going on a fishing trip or getting a massage at a parlour or brothel, Its an experience we have for the day than move on back to our normal lives. The problem lies with the women, or men that fall in love that,s the problem, other wise sex out side a relationship is no big deal.as long as its discreet

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