Realise her fantasy

Just like you, she's harbouring some sexual thoughts she's dying to share. Sharing's caring, right? Our poll of 10,000 people revealed that men and women have the same top-five sexual fantasies.

Her top 5 fantasies

1. Show time

80% want to touch themselves while you watch (and learn)

The turn-on

"The fact that she's turning you on while making herself orgasm makes her feel sexy," explains sexologist Dr Sandor Gardos.

Make it happen

During foreplay, take her hand and gently move it towards her clitoris. Remove your hand and encourage her to continue while you ravish the rest of her body. Then ease away and enjoy the show or Service yourself at the same time, suggests Gardos. She'll love it.

2. Dominate her

66% want you to cuff them
74% want to be spanked during sex

63% want you to pull their hair during sex

The turn-on
Society encourages a woman to see herself as an object of desire; being restrained and spanked allows her to act that out, says Dr Carol Queen, author of Exhibitionism for the Shy (amazon.com, $33).

Bonus: a sharp spank on her bum can stimulate nerve endings in her vagina.

Make it happen

Duringa playful make-out session , gently grab her wrists and pin them above her head, says sex therapist Dr Ava Cadell. Use your free hand to explore her body. Next, bind her wrists with a rope of paper towel (knowing it's breakable is reassuring for first-timers).

3. Public notice

51% want to join the mile high club with you
64% want to have sex with you in a public place

43% want to have a secret sex encounter in your office

The turn-on

"The fear of being caught really heightens your senses, allowing you to focus on the sexual experience," explains Queen.

Make it happen

If you have a window in the bedroom, start by leaving the curtains open or getting raunchy in the backyard, this will ease you both into it.

4. Set in motion

40% are ready to make a sex DVD with you

72% want to watch porn with you

The turn-on

A Stanford University study found that women reach peak arousal just two minutes into an erotic flick. 40 percent of the women polled admitted to watching porn or visiting erotic Web sites when they're home alone.

Make it happen

Don't start with hard-core titles, cautions Dr Victoria Zdrok, sex therapist and former Playmate of the Year. Choose one together and hop online for a session.

5. Third element

25% want a threesome with you and another woman
81% want you to use sex toys on them

47% want to visit a strip club with you

The turn-on

"She wants to fulfil your fantasy," says Gardos. "And, more important, the more stimuli, the better the orgasm." An Australian study found that a chorus of oral, manual and genital intercourse increases her chances of a mind-blowing orgasm by 89 per cent.

Make it happen
Create a threesome fantasy using sex toys first. Then visit a strip club together. If you both like watching each other enjoying lap dances, then discuss the next level. "But voice any misgivings," warns Cadell, " or you may ruin a lifelong relationship.