Advertisement

Should you mix business and pleasure?

If you did hook up, would you hide it?

A) I’d let her decide if and when we go public
B) We’d discuss it and break the news together
C) I’d be boasting about it the morning after

A Wise move. If she’s the one to disclose it, you’re less likely to be blamed for any backlash. But get your statement out soon after: spare the details and make it clear you want to keep your private life just that.
B This isn’t marriage – office flings are pretty common. A UK survey found less than half of workplace encounters are disclosed. “Keep it clandestine until you’ve been together for at least six weeks,” says sexual psychologist Paul Wilson.
C Nor is this school. Post-coital bragging is juvenile. Too late? Make it clear to her friends you had feelings for her. That way tactless comments simply look like a self-defence mechanism.

52% believe that sex with a colleague is fine if both parties handle the situation well. (statista.com)

How many women work in your office?
A) She’s the only one, but she’s more than enough
B) I’d say the gender split is roughly 50/50
C) It’s like a sultan’s harem and I’m Ali Baba

A The limited pool could be clouding your judgment. Deploy distancing tactics: take separate lunch hours and put a stop to idle kitchen chat. If you’re uncertain about your true feelings, chances are they don’t exist.
B It’s the right environment for you to make a move. Over the course of a week, note the number of times she initiates conversation with you. If it averages three or more a day – and she’s not just hassling you for sales updates – you’re clear to plan your approach.
C Keep your confidence on the right side of arrogance. Make a point of learning each woman’s name and make eye contact when you speak. Research in The Economist found this makes you more approachable and popular.

GALLERY: 15 things she's thinking when you're naked

If you met her outside work, you would…
A) Tell her how much you enjoy working with her
B) Buy her a drink, maybe flirt a little
C) Gabble like a pimply teenager

A Use this time to form a personal bond. Joke about shared experiences; don’t analyse the recent software update.
B Flirting benefits from strategy. “Don’t pretend you haven’t seen her,” says dating psychologist Rob King. “Walk over and offer her a drink: a gin martini shows you know your way around a bar.”
C If you default to nervous chatter, you need to rewire the way you think about her, says King. Spend a month firming up relationships with other women in the office – it’ll increase your confidence.

39% of people have had sex with a colleague, according to Sex and the Psyche by Dr Brett Kahr

How much time do you spend together?
A) She calls me into her office every now and then
B) She sits opposite me. And shares my chewing gum
C) I see her around the building most days

A So she’s the boss. Well, you’re only human – we’re psychologically wired to chase things we can’t have, and this is doubly true of men with high testosterone. But trying it on with the woman who signs off your pay cheque is a sure way to a sharp slide down a greasy pole. Leave your feelings at her office door before you scupper any chance of a promotion.
B They say familiarity breeds contempt. It also creates false attraction. If you’re looking at her all day, it’s your hormones talking, not your head. List her major flaws, then make a note of five people more attractive. Your mind will be drawn back to the list every time it starts to wander.
C “Do your research,” suggests King. “What department does she work for? What does she specialise in? Once you have the answers, your opening chat will be easier. It builds trust too.” Friday drinks are about to become a lot more fun.

GALLERY: 35 of the best sex positions

Does she eat cereal at her desk?
A) I don’t know. I’m not allowed in her office
B) Yep. Special K
C) I doubt it. It’s not something she’d do
A For the last time, you’re not James Bond. Like we said, if you can’t get past her office door, you won’t get anywhere near the threshold of her bedroom door.
B A multitude of peer-reviewed studies prove conclusively that no genuinely hot woman ever eats breakfast cereal at her desk. Especially if the cereal is Fruit Loops, Coco Pops or anything in a neon box. You don’t need us to tell you to swerve the girl with milk on her chin.
C You work with a stunner. Your most prudent tactic is a well-worded email: one that won’t cause an HR shitstorm. “Initiate work-related chat, then suggest meeting for coffee,” says psychologist Justin Duwe. “The speed of her response will tell you if the feeling is reciprocated.” After the coffee, ask her out again. Having met on work terms, there’ll be no awkward rejection – or tribunal risk.

MORE: The five guys she might leave you for