Do nothing, build muscle

By Ray Klerck

We've devised a workout that lets you binge and bulk up in the sun. It’s time to treat your body like a muscle memory bank that you continually feed until the start of your holiday. Then you can start cashing in your savings.

Training lasts for four weeks. Time your routine so that it ends shortly before your holiday. Then all you need to worry about for the next fortnight is gorging on as much protein as possible.

Picture the moment Homer Simpson ate so much he sent an all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant into bankruptcy and you’re halfway there.

Your muscles will devour the nutrients and start growing. Trust us, knowing that you’re the only man on the beach getting more muscles while he chills out will make for your most relaxing holiday ever.

We’ll teach you how to come close to over-training (OT), a serious condition you’d do well to avoid. Instead, we want you to do some overreaching (OR). This is similar to OT, because it results from too much exercise, but should cease before the OT side effects take over.

The secret to OR is knowing when to pull out. Here, you’ll learn to give 150 per cent for the correct period of time before bailing out in a safe manner.

To source the extra per cent, you must increase three things: your training frequency (ideally target each body part three times a week); the size of your weights (make sure you can manage no more than eight repetitions per set); and the number of sets you perform per body part (train until your muscles fail).

With every workout shown, each muscle group is trained with three-to-five exercises, three-to-four sets per exercise and with reps mainly in the four-to-10 range.

By week four, your body will be on the point of exhaustion, desperately in need of rest. Do what it says. Eat, rest and eat some more. That’s an order!

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MONDAY

For all exercises, do four sets of four to six reps. Rest for two minutes between sets. Then do forced reps at end of set three and negative reps at end of set four.

Chest

Dips and then . . .
Incline dumbbell press
Incline dumbbell flies
Incline barbell press

Shoulders

Upright barbell row and then . . .
Front raise
Barbell overhead press

Triceps

Skull-crushers and then . . .
Triceps press-down
Overhead dumbbell extension

Abs

Weighted sit-up

TUESDAY

For all exercises, do three sets of eight to 10 reps. Rest for two to three minutes between sets.

Back

Wide-grip pull-up and then . . .
Single-arm dumbbell row

Biceps

Barbell curl and then . . .
Alternating dumbbell curl

Legs

Straight-leg barbell dead-lift and then . . .
Squats
Lunges

Calves

Standing calf raise

WEDNESDAY

For all exercises, do four sets of four to six reps. Rest for two minutes between sets. Do forced reps at the end of set three and negative reps at end of set four.

Chest

Barbell bench press and then . . .
Flat dumbbell fly
Pec deck
Dumbbell bench press

Shoulders

Dumbbell overhead press and then . . .
Dumbbell shrug
Lateral raise

Triceps

Overhead cable extension and then . . .
Close-grip bench press
Cable pull-down

Abs

Hanging leg raise

THURSDAY

For all exercises, do three sets of eight to 10 reps. Rest for two to three minutes between sets.

Back

Wide-grip pull-down and then . . .
Bent-over barbell row

Biceps

Barbell preacher curl and then . . .
Close-grip underhand pull-up

Legs

Leg pressand then . . .
Leg extension
Hamstring curl

Calves

Standing calf raise

FRIDAY

For all exercises, do four sets of four to six reps. Rest for two minutes between sets. Do forced reps at the end of set three and negative reps at the end of four.

Chest

Cable crossover and then . . .
Incline barbell press
Dumbbell bench press

Shoulders

Bent-over barbell lateral raise and then . . .
Machine shoulder press

Triceps

Dumbbell kickbacks and then . . .
Dips

Abs

Barbell roll-out

SATURDAY

For all exercises, do three sets of eight to 10 reps. Rest for two to three minutes between sets.

Back

Seated cable row and then . . .
Close-grip pull-down

Biceps

Seated incline curl and then . . .
Cable curl

Legs

Swiss-ball hamstring roll and then . . .
Squats
Weighted step-up

Calves

Seated calf raise

SUNDAY

Rest