Yahoo Lifestyle Guys Are Revealing The Small Things They Discovered About Women And Relationships That They Wish They Knew When They Were Young Boys
As the saying goes, hindsight is 20/20. It's always easier to look back on things and wish we could give our younger selves a little pep talk about life. I always love hearing things from a guy's POV, so I, of course, had to share this Reddit thread full of guys sharing the piece of advice they would give their younger selves about women and relationships. Here is what some shared:
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
1."They're just people. There's no reason to put them on a pedestal or be afraid to approach them."
2."Go for it. Don't be afraid of rejection, and don't languish in 'the friend zone,' then decide one day to give them an ultimatum. Be upfront about liking someone; if they don't return your feelings, move on."
3."Some advice is: if you're given mixed signals, or anything other than an enthusiastic yes, it's a no. Full stop, no exceptions. A break-up is not the end of the world. Hindsight is always 20/20, and even if that thing that supposedly killed the relationship didn't happen, something else likely would have, and it's best to let it end anyway. Believe her true colors. Her not being in the mood doesn't mean she's not attracted to you anymore, but that doesn't mean that you need to be in the mood whenever she is. After a breakup, stay the heck away from her social media."
4.“Hey, you idiot (to myself)! When you notice a lady is hanging around you, laughing at your jokes, when they say things like 'So what are we doing for Halloween?' or their friends say, 'Oh, Amanda, we need to find you a boyfriend' while riding in your car and looking straight at you in the mirror. These aren’t traps, guy. It isn’t elementary school. You have NO reason to feel sorry for yourself because you’re being offered barrel after barrel full of fish, yet you’re acting like it’s a dry lakebed. I don’t think I’d need to give specific advice after that. That’s the push I’d wished I’d heard."
5."That what you’ve seen at home is not a good pattern to go by (in my case). I didn’t communicate, and I expected my girlfriend to be ready for sex whenever I wanted. If I got rejected, I felt like a massive failure and that she must not love me anymore. I always did my own thing and didn’t care much about making plans together. Turns out communication is key, and it’s okay to be emotional as a man. Also, women like small gestures, even as simple as surprising them with their favorite flower or chocolate, even years into a relationship. It’s completely okay not to be in the mood for sex too."
"Just because I have a high libido, it doesn’t mean I can use her whenever I want, and it also doesn’t mean that she is in the mood when I am. Also, women are not 'mythical creatures' that you should be afraid of — they are human — just like you, with hobbies, tastes, insecurities, problems, quirks, etc."
6."It’s a myth that if you find the right person, everything will turn out all right. Shift your focus to becoming the right person for someone else."
7."Remember, compatibility isn't just about sharing hobbies or interests. It's also about differing in the right ways —embracing each other's quirks, learning from your differences, and growing together because of them. And don't forget, it's a two-way street; cultivate a partnership where you build each other up. Communication is crucial, but so is understanding that actions often speak louder than words. Show appreciation, be supportive during the downs, and celebrate the ups. Most importantly, know it's okay to walk away from something that isn't working, no matter how much time you've invested. Your self-worth is not tied to a relationship status. Develop yourself. The right person will complement you, not complete you."
8."See things for what they are. If she’s treating you like shit or playing games with your head, walk the fuck away."
9."About approaching women: Your worth as a man isn't determined by whether she rejects you. Developing an internalized sense of self-worth at a young age will make many things, including dating, easier."
10."I'd say to try to view women more empathetically. I wasn't lacking for empathy with people in general, but I didn't understand a lot of what women did. And like many guys (especially now, it seems), I assumed it was irrational or 'just girl stuff' they were going through. The more I've talked to women and heard about their experiences, the more I realize I'd do many of the same things if I'd had those experiences. They're not being illogical; they've just learned a lot of things to do (or not do) the way we do. This obviously made me better as a person, but also had a massively positive impact on my dating life. So I'd probably go with that."
11."Don’t become someone else for a woman."
12."Dating them doesn't mean you're required to take shit from them. Don't be afraid to stand up to your girlfriend if she's treating you unfairly."
13."When you're asking her out, work the word 'date' in. When she shows up, tell her you like what she's wearing. Try to break the touch barrier slowly. Yes, women do play games and send mixed signals, but if it happens, just act as if she isn't interested in you. It's not worth the trouble, and why would you want to be with someone like that anyway? If she's fresh out of a relationship or still close friends with her ex(es), she probably isn't ready for anything serious. Do what you will with that information."
14."Life is about more than just relationships and how many people you can sleep with. Learn how to embrace yourself and grow the way you want to grow before you focus too much on trying to bring someone else into it."
15.And finally, "Don’t idealize one woman you have a crush on. Be open to different types of women and dating because you never know when you will find that one human who just clicks with you. But it’s rarely a 'hot girl you admire from afar.'"
Do you have any advice you wish you could tell your younger self? If so, share it with me in the comments below!
