I went on a first date a week ago and he’s still at my house.
Yes, you read that right. At this point I’d love to high five myself and say, “That’s how good I am, he just can’t leave the magic”, but that would be a slight exaggeration.
A week ago we had a great first date, the guy made a decent effort and the banter came naturally… as did the kissing (insert cheeky monkey face) but half way through the date, a situation unfolded which left the guy without a place to return to.
Being the Good Samaritan that I am and even more so a few wines in, I go, “Oh beb, it’s totally fine. Just stay here with me until you work it all out.” His response was obviously, “No, we’ve just met we can’t do that?” Me: “Honestly it’s so fine, it will be nice to have the company.”
So, what happens when you go from an awesome first date one day to living together the next? A s**t load of awkwardness is the answer to that.
Firstly, you have no idea how to act. Do you friendzone each other? Do you act like a long-term couple? Do you sleep in the same bed? I now understand why there are bases and phases in a relationship, and things need to be followed in the right order.
I’ve basically turned into a Stepford Wife for the past week. He goes to work. He comes home to me with full hair and make-up wearing an apron holding a tray of hot cookies out of the oven. “How was your day dear?”
Seriously Mel, wtf? Stop. It. Can I just add too that I have this fabulous clip-in hair weave that I put in for special occasions, as I did last Friday and decided to leave in all week to maintain my luscious lock look. Today I jammed a fork in it to scratch my freaking scalp and I’m desperate to rip this out, but I’ve just met the guy can’t turn into ‘on the couch in trackies Mel’ already.
We can’t just start acting like we are a couple because that is ridiculously scary after one date. So, we sit at opposite ends of the couch and make small talk like an old married couple. It’s safe to say the chemistry from our date is now stuck in limbo land… or in my weave, somewhere along with my dignity.
There are obviously so many more complications that come with moving in with your first date. I’m going to go there because that’s what I do. How am I supposed to fluff? This is something that is easily avoided in the first few months of dating but not when you live with someone, which is why when you move in with a partner it’s because it’s at a level with comfort and love.
This is one of the craziest situations I’ve put myself in and all I can do is laugh at the moment and just enjoy it the best I can. Will romance blossom? Or will this end in complete disaster? I’ll update you next week but for now, def don’t get drunk and ask your first date to move in with you. FML.