Mel Greig: Why I feel sorry for Mike from MAFS

By Mel Greig

I think we all need to take a moment to feel sorry for Mike… it appears he genuinely thought he was marrying a vessel. A vessel to park his willy in and a neck to fondle as he sees fit.

He was unaware that Heidi would need more than his self-proclaimed good looks. He didn’t realise that he would need to converse in depth with wife Heidi or need to accept emotional conversations.

This poor guy thought that Heidi was just this banging body and a good kisser… ‘jackpot’ he exclaimed. ‘Yep I can fondle her forever, what a great marriage.’ Insert every possible sarcastic emoji that exists.

Looks like we have this year’s villain and yes, we are aware that this has been heavily edited, but the context of how he behaved was not edited or manipulated.

We all started to get a bad vibe from Mike when he was standing at the altar talking about his good looks. In the promo for Mike, we learned that he enjoys sleeping with women half his age and that he hasn’t had many successful relationships and at 44 he doesn’t want to break any more hearts, but is hoping to find true love.

Last night, Heidi opened up and said that she’s physically attracted to Mike, but she needed more depth. She explained to Mike that she was worried to bring it up in case he became too sensitive about it.

Mike tried to encourage the conversation but quickly shut it down and then deflected away from it… even chiming in with, “You have a lovely neck”. This guy couldn’t even handle 60 seconds of his ‘wife’ trying to open up to him and get depth out of him. That was the first alarm bell.

On the beach Heidi opened up about the hardest aspect of her life and that was being in foster care and living in government housing. I can imagine that Heidi would feel that some people might judge her for her upbringing (side note: I was a 16-year-old teen runaway no judgement here) so to share that story is quite daunting.

One would expect compassion, understanding and patience when reliving that story. What Heidi got from her ‘husband’ was the exact opposite.

Mike lasted a whole two minutes of listening to Heidi and cut her off by saying, “How hot is it today?”. Heidi was clearly upset, and Mike tried to explain himself by saying, “Shorten the points out because it looks like you’re ranting at me”, and he continued with, “Look, I’m not your therapist this isn’t therapy.”

There’s only one person in this situation that needs therapy, Mike.

But the most disturbing part of Mike’s behaviour was that in the aftermath he still didn’t understand what he’d done wrong and why it was such a drama. He started talking about how important dinner was but also that he doesn’t want to harp on about it, he wanted to ‘quickly’ go through his points, apologise and move on.

But Heidi wasn’t having a bar of it and didn’t show up for dinner. So then, Mike’s biggest problem was why he decided to colour match the yacht and napkins.

Mike then asked if he could go down for ‘one minute’ to talk to Heidi. Heidi finally agreed and Mike tried to explain himself by saying, “It was hot, and I just wanted to go for a swim.”

Mike, you made an interesting point tonight when you said, “Men and women are just different”. By that, do you mean that men just see women as a point of pleasure? That their emotions, intelligence and wellbeing mean nothing? Tonight, you portrayed a man that I hope other young boys don’t grow up and aspire to be.

The only other common theme apart from your lack of emotion and empathy was your thirst for keeping things ‘quick’ and ‘shortened’. Hopefully that’s not a sign of the one quality you seem to possess.

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