The Rise Of Virtual Sex

Lia Thornton* was at home preparing for a night in with her boyfriend, Henry Klein*. She had bought new lingerie, taken a shower, put on her make-up and turned down the lights. The couple had been living together for a year, but this particular night was one they had both been anticipating. Because, while Lia was in their bedroom in LA, Henry was 5000 kilometres away in a hotel room in Boston. They were about to try virtual sex for the first time with the help of the latest gadget in cybersex technology: a Mojowijo, a high-tech toy that enables couples to have sex over the internet.

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The Mojowijo utilises vibration technology, with two devices connected via Wii remotes to the internet. The female attachment is a dildo, the male an open ring in the shape of the letter C that fits over the penis. Communicating via Skype, both partners have to hold their own devices and use them in a way that satisfies them. In a sense it’s like masturbation – the difference is, their partner controls the intensity of the vibration.

Lia, 24, an administrative assistant with an insurance company, found the product online after becoming fed up with Henry’s work commitments, which took him away every month, sometimes for weeks at a time. “It’s easy to use,” she explains. “You download some software, plug in and off you go.”

So, how did it feel? “It was amazingly intense,” she reveals. “We began playing around a little bit, and slowly but surely, we started to get into it. We began increasing the vibrations for each other, and we probably did that for more than an hour. I had multiple orgasms and Henry had at least two.

“That first night opened up a whole new world for us. It meant that we could still stay connected, even when Henry was away on business.”

The idea of cybersex technology, or “teledildonics”, has been around since the early 1990s, but it has taken until now to create an effective sex toy that can be controlled by computer.

“Some early attempts at teledildonics were laughable,” says Steve DuMosch, a former Microsoft engineer and the man behind the Mojowijo. “There were love suits and all kinds of things that were mostly deemed too creepy. And there was the realm of virtual sex, where people would masturbate with cartoons.”

Among the inventions that never took off was the Cyber Sex Suit, a device equipped with 36 pads that delivered sensations to the wearer at the click of a mouse. Unfortunately, testers deemed it too sweaty and there were no guarantees against electrical surges. Similar problems arose with something called the Black Box, which came with several cables and a little vibrating bullet attached to a penis harness. Software malfunctions and power surges were again major problems.

Then, at last January’s Adult Video News Novelty Expo in Las Vegas, where international sex toy manufacturers converge to show off the latest in cutting-edge technology, teledildonics had its big moment.

“It’s a growing trend that’s set to explode,” comments DuMosch. “And it’s led largely by the fact that there is research showing that there are more and more long-distance relationships in the world. Because people are able to see each other on the internet, these relationships are able to work in a way they never used to.”

It is estimated that more than a million couples are now using cyber-sex technology. The arrival of sexting (transmitting sexual messages and photographs by text) has opened people’s minds to the possibilities of computer sex. “Couples with one partner in the military, for example, are now able to be intimate with each other,” adds sex expert Dr Ava Cadell. “But some couples are also using this technology just to add sparkle to their sex lives. It can be a big turn-on to see yourself on camera.”

“I was a little bit apprehensive about it,” says Lia’s boyfriend Henry, 28, an account executive. “Women are more accustomed to using sex toys generally, I think; so I was a bit unsure. But Lia talked me into buying one and it was just amazing. It allows me to satisfy her from far away, and the turn-on for me is I get to see how turned on she is just by touching herself.”

Lia agrees with him: “I see Henry using his, and he sees me using mine. You’re able to see yourself, too, and that really adds something.”

Dr Cadell believes that advances in technology are opening up a whole new world of intimacy. “Where people might previously have just mastur-bated alone, they can now connect to their partner. Many of my clients travel a lot, and anything that helps them stay connected to their partner and not be tempted to ‘stray’ has great therapeutic value.”

Lia regards cybersex as an exercise in getting to know Henry’s sexual likes and dislikes, so that it enhances their sex life when they’re together again. “The fact that Henry can see what I like to do to myself and I get to see what he likes to do for himself is an education for us both,” she says. “And the experience definitely opened us up to being more sensitive to each other’s wants. It’s certainly boosted our sex life.”

Of course, there are no post-coital cuddles with this kind of sex. “Nothing replaces Henry being there, but it’s better than no contact at all,” says Lia.

The couple now uses the Mojowijo every time Henry is away from home. But while Lia is telling all her friends about it, and has encouraged many of them to purchase one, Henry doesn’t.

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“I know girls talk about that kind of stuff, but sex toys are not man’s conversation,” he concedes with a laugh. “I don’t mind. For me, just knowing that I can turn on my girlfriend from all that distance is enough. There’s no better feeling than that.”

The Mojowijo costs approximately $220 for both male and female devices (they can also be bought separately). For more details, visit www.mojowijo.com.