Ex blasted over 'toxic' list of rules for girlfriend

Penny Burfitt
Lifestyle & Entertainment Producer
Zoe Scholefield shared a disturbing text message from a former boyfriend, and received an outpouring of support. Photo: Twitter/ScholefieldZoe

A woman has put her ex on blast with the help of 40,000 Twitter users or so, sharing a text message bristling with red flags to the social media platform.

UK woman Zoe Scholefield uploaded the message sent by her ex-boyfriend last Friday, and it has since taken on a life of its own - racking up over 3,000 likes, and being shared by over 30,000 fellow users.

“Funny how my ex sent me stuff like this then has the audacity to cheat on me,” she captioned a screenshot of a lengthy text message the man sent her before a night out on the town.

The message contains a jaw-dropping list of rules going into precise detail on what Zoe could - and mainly couldn’t - do without him in tow.

A list of red-flag rules

Zoe Scholefield shared this text exchange to Twitter where it horrified thousands after going viral. Photo: Twitter/ScholefieldZoe

Amongst the rules were; no dancing like a ‘slag’, not getting ‘too drunk’, no boys in any capacity - including conversational - and no being roofied.

“Look after your drink at all times to make sure no one puts owt (anything) in it,” was the precise rule in which he somehow put the onus on Zoe to avoid predators.


The list goes on to forbid going into anyone else’s hotel room, a blow-by-blow of the night's events to be prepared then recounted to him the following day, and pre-approval of any outfit Zoe should choose to wear.

"Always send me photos of front and back of what you are wearing so I can approve and say whether or not I think you should wear it,” the ninth rule reads.

He also asks for a video of the room before she goes to sleep to prove no cheating is going on, half of all her vital organs and her voice (like Ariel in The Little Mermaid).

Ok, the last two are fake but the rest are captured in the sweet snap of a smartphone screenshot, and have been shared far and wide.

Twitter reacts

The comments roundly slammed the man’s attitude, which of course manifested in the alleged cheating Zoe nods to in her caption.

“The fact he sent anything other than "enjoy it" is a red flag,” one person wrote.

“WTF did he think you were... some sort of a possession of his?” another wrote.

Others just peppered the comments section with red flag emojis, or let memes do the talking.

Others got serious about the underlying tone - warning against some warning signs of a very bad relationship.

“So incredibly rude and disrespectful. Your insecurities are not our job to cater to,” one woman wrote.

“Absolute toxic behaviour better off without,” another advised.

“Trash,” another surmised. “If a man ever does that sh*t, it’s the biggest red flag ever!!”

White Ribbon identifies jealousy and possessiveness as two potential signs of an abusive relationship, and provides help on their website.

If you or someone you know is suffering from sexual or domestic abuse, don't suffer in silence, call 1800 RESPECT any time of day or night.

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