Man derailed by girlfriend's 'lie' while planning proposal

Marni Dixit
·Lifestyle & Entertainment Producer
·7-min read

A man has taken to Reddit in the hopes of getting some advice after finding out his girlfriend lied to him about where she was while he was choosing an engagement ring with her best friend.

The 28-year-old wrote that he had been planning on proposing to his 26-year-old girlfriend of three years and was choosing an engagement ring with the help of her best friend, Justine, who he is also good friends with.

In the past, he'd asked her friends for advice on jewellery so this was no different.

A man sits on the couch looking upset
A man has taken to Reddit in the hopes of getting advice after finding out his girlfriend lied about her whereabouts while he was shopping for engagement rings. Photo: Getty

He wrote: "Justine and I are quite close and she knows my girlfriend better than anyone, including me. So, when my girlfriend when out to visit her sister and baby nephew, I invited Justine over to the house to help pick out a ring.

"Justine and I looked through a few catalogues, but decided it was a dead end and it would be better to go to professionals at a jewelry store. However, I didn't know when my girlfriend would be coming home, so Justine and I thought of a clever text to gauge how much time we had. I asked her when she'd be coming home, as I was ordering takeout and wanted to know when to tell them to have the food ready by.

"She responded by saying it would be a few hours, she met up with Justine to go shopping. Now, obviously this took me by surprise since Justine was standing inside my house. I showed Justine the text, and she looked as confused as I was."

He continued, saying that it's not unusual for his girlfriend to meet up with people out of the blue to go shopping or out to lunch, so he'd normally have believed the text. "However, obviously this had to be a lie," he said.

The man said that when his girlfriend came home she acted "completely normal" and he played along, adding: "It's been really hard to act like everything's fine."

He said that she seemed to have caught on a little that he was upset, but he now can't tell her why, adding: "Looking at her kills me."

"I don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I have zero trust issues and we tell each other everything, so this lie is killing me. I want to ask her about it so bad, but if I tell her I knew she was lying, I'd have to explain why, and I really don't want to do that. What do I do? I know she lied to me but I don't know how to confront her about it. Should I just forget it? This won't stop gnawing at me. Please help!" he added.

One commenter wrote: "I know you say you can’t tell her why you know, but I honestly think you should. You don’t want this to bug you forever and propose to a girl that could be potentially hiding something. Just say you were hanging out with Justine because you needed help with a gift, so you know she wasn’t with her. And see what she says. Trust and communication is important and it would suck to know you propose to a girl who could be doing you wrong, but also just as bad to sit there and let that lie eat you alive."

Another added: "Ask her straight up: 'Hey, why did you say you were with Justine, when I know you weren't?'

A man shops for an engagement ring
The man was planning on buying an engagement ring with his girlfriend's best friend. Photo: Getty

"No use beating around the bush about it. Either she'll have a reasonable explanation, or she'll freak out and you'll get to save a fortune by dodging a bullet."

Someone else agreed: "You need to just ask her ... you said it’s not weird for you to shop jewelry with her friends so tell her you were thinking of getting her a nice piece of jewelry so you asked her friend...

"First confront her with the evidence she may just come out and tell you where she was or who she was with and if not tell her you wanted to do something nice for her you don’t have to tell her it was an engagement ring just say a nice piece of jewelry she won’t pry because she has more to answer for and not you."

However, the poster shared an update and the story gets a little weirder.

"I decided to confront my girlfriend. I thought about using some of the lies people suggested, but they just wouldn't make sense. To say I ran into Justine somewhere: well, I told my girl I had to stay home and do stuff around the house, and that's why I couldn't go with her to see my SIL.

"To say Justine was helping me pick out jewelry: it doesn't make sense for her to come all the way to our house to help me pick out a piece of jewelry unless it was a serious piece of jewelry (like an engagement ring). If I just wanted to get her a piece of jewelry as a gift, I'd ask her friends for suggestions or ask them to send me pictures of jewelry she might like. It all happens over text. None of the excuses made sense. So, I decided to be honest.

"I basically just said that I knew we'd been thinking about marriage and she probably knew a proposal was coming soon so I invited Justine over to help me find her the perfect ring, and that so happened to be the day that she said she was going to see her, so... what's the deal?

"She immediately started grinning like an idiot and prodding me about proposing and the ring, but then we got back onto the topic of where she was and she confessed what she was really doing. No, she wasn't cheating, and no, she wasn't picking out a ring for me (the amount of times that was commented was crazy)."

He continued: "So, some people are dog people and some people are cat people. Well, me, I'm a snake person. I grew up with snakes my whole life. But I never felt I was able to get one because my girlfriend has always been uneasy about living with a snake which I completely respected. Also, the process of buying and raising a snake is very different than that of buying and raising a dog or cat. It's quite complicated. So you could imagine my surprise when my girlfriend showed me a picture of her holding the cutest Kenyan sand boa I have EVER SEEN!

Kenyan sand boa
In the end it turned out that the man's girlfriend had been working on a surprise for him and was buying him a Kenyan sand boa as a pet. Photo: Getty

"Needless to say, my girlfriend was going to surprise me with a snake! We're picking her up next week... I definitely did not expect this and I feel bad for ruining the surprise, but oh well. Life is good! Sorry if this isn't the ending you guys wanted or expected, just a snake haha."

Needless to say, commenters were relieved, with many sharing snake jokes.

"Rattled over nothing," one user wrote, while another added, "Dramatic people are going to have a hiss-y fit."

Someone else wrote, "This is a great story that will go down in hiss-tory," another said, "Time to hiss and make up."

One user joked, "Who had "was actually looking for a pet snake" in the update betting pool?"

Another summed it up nicely, "Seriously, I love that in this relationship filled with honesty and communication, the only secrets they keep from each other are surprises to make the other person happy.

"...and even then they get found out super quickly because they both are in touch with each other's lives and friends. Well done, you two!"

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