Why women are better off after a breakup

There’s no denying that breakups are awful.

And although it seems like your ex is out there loving life while you’re struggling to get out of your tracksuit pants, new research shows if you’re female, you’ll probably be better off in the end.

Researchers from Binghamton University and University College London surveyed over 5700 people in 96 countries, asking them to rate their emotional and physical pain after a breakup. They found that women are hit harder immediately after a split but once the dust settles, they usually have a better recovery.

Published in the journal Evolutionary Behavioural Sciences, the study revealed that women have more time to heal, they can overcome the breakup more more successfully than men do, regardless of whether the relationship was same sex or heterosexual.

According to researchers, the difference comes down to biology.

“Put simply, women are evolved to invest far more in a relationship than a man,” said research associate Craig Morris in a statement. He adds that at the end of a relationship, because men are evolved to compete for the romantic attention of women, the loss of a great partner may not hurt as much at first.

“The men will likely feel the loss deeply and for a very long period of time as it ‘sinks in’ that he must ‘start competing’ all over again to replace what he has lost – or worse still, come to the realisation that the loss is irreplaceable.”

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Not that this is exactly a win for women. According to the Washington Post, men experience pain over breakups too, it’s just that gender norms call for those emotions to be hidden.

Speaking to the Washington Post, Morris points out that women probably have a wider support system to help them recover from a split. “If a guy shows up for Call of Duty night while his friends are all on the Xbox and he says, ‘Guys, I’m kind of sad, I really can’t play tonight, then the guys just say, ‘Oh okay, see you later,’” Morris said.

Bottom line: the study shows that men's emotions can override their biology so if you do have a male friend going through a breakup – offer a listening ear. He’ll thank you in the long run. Even if he won’t admit it.

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