Remember Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston? According to those who knew them, Brad and Jen are both gorgeous, kind, smart, loyal, caring, funny people — completely relationship-worthy in every way. Unfortunately, this did not translate into a worthy relationship between the two of them in the long run.
Let that be a lesson to you: No matter how incredible you both are individually, it does not guarantee that you will bring out the best in each other as a couple.
What does, then? In a word: compatibility.
Compatibility is not about being overly similar people — it is, however, about two people sharing similar principles, values and goals (like starting a family) and being able to appreciate each other’s strengths and weaknesses. It’s about embracing someone’s unique identity without losing your own. It’s what my mom has always called my dad: “similar… but different.” And 45 years later, it’s obviously the key to keeping their marriage together!
So how does one start gauging his or her relationship compatibility with someone else? By taking a quiz, of course! That’s why we’ve created the compatibility quiz below. Simply print out two copies, go to opposite sides of the room, answer your questions separately and compare your results together. Answer without doing too much analyzing, and remember: It’s not about choosing what you think are probably the right answers, it’s about being honest! Let’s get started:
1. When it comes to socializing, you prefer to
• Hang out with close friends and family.
• Be around lots of new people.
2. When you have a problem, you usually
• Keep it to yourself — you don’t like to burden others.
• Talk about it — you like getting feedback and ideas from other people.
3. If your friends had to describe your personality, they’d say you were
• The quiet, behind-the-scenes type.
• The life of the party.
4. Being alone
• Is good for the soul sometimes.
• Is never fun.
5. It’s more important to
• Enjoy what you do.
• Make enough money to do the things you dream of doing.
6. If you have free time, you would rather
• Curl up with a good book.
• Invite a friend over to watch a movie.
7. When it comes to your family
• You’re very close and like to be involved with them.
• You love everybody, but only get together for certain events.
8. You just got a big bonus at work. You:
• Spend a little of it, but like to save a lot.
• Spend a lot of it on something you really want, but save the rest.
9. Your place is a mess. It:
• Makes you crazy — you need to get to it ASAP.
• Can wait — no one’s coming over anytime soon.
10. The cashier just gave you back too much change. You:
• Say something and give it back immediately.
• Give it back only if it’s more than $5.
11. If you had to narrow it down to one word, you’d say you were:
12. Your friends:
• Always support your dating choices.
• Never get along with your dates.
OK, prepare to compare! Add up your answers and give yourselves one point for every question you answered the same way.
9-12 points: Extremely compatible! You two see eye to eye on a lot of important issues that crop up in relationships. Just make sure that your choices are based on your needs first and not entirely on what you think the other person needs from you.
5-8 points: Compatible, but as a couple you need the ability to compromise. You have a lot in common, but there are times when you both need to do your own thing. If you two can find a way to take turns allowing the other to have his or her say, there’s definitely a way to make this relationship have some staying power.
0-4 points: Opposites can attract, but if they don’t find common ground, it may become grounds for a breakup. It’s hard to let someone go when he or she is an incredible person, but sometimes it’s for the best. Do it so that both of you can find that incredible person who truly will be the missing piece in your life’s romantic puzzle!
If you scored terribly on this quiz, it’s not a definite pass/fail on your relationship outlook. Actually, it may be just what you two need to analyze and discuss the things that you like to do and see whether they are set in stone, or if there’s room for compromise in order to get both of your needs met.
If not, move on — and keep a copy of this quiz for yourself in case you run into someone amazing and want to check your compatibility quotient!